


Finding Clarity

by Eristal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season 12, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Cunnilingus, Death, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, Eventual sexy times, F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Goddesses, Gods, Loss of Virginity, No Mary Winchester, Past Child Abuse, Penis In Vagina Sex, Sassy, Sex, Smut, lets just say there's a good amount of sex, mentions of drug abuse, myth remix, plus size, plus size character, slightly Out of character Castiel, sorta slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-08-23 21:44:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 57,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8343967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eristal/pseuds/Eristal
Summary: Perhaps seeing large black shadowy wings and glowing eyes isn't the most normal thing in the world?Cora was never anything extraordinary, but with them, she may be a little more than she ever dreamed.On Hiatus





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all!  
> This is my first attempt at the supernatural fandom and on AO3. I'm no stranger to fanfiction, writing, reading, I've done it all since I was in my teens. I've been absorbed with my personal professional writing and now I'm slowly going through some old journals that I've written in to pass time in college classes and, surprise, I write fandom stories. If I have enough gumption I'll get through them all. I strive to write fat female characters since I find that there aren't enough in fanfiction. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy my wild and untamed (unbetaed) attempts!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's start this wild and wacky journey! I write mainly fat female OCs since there are so few in any type of media. Hope you enjoy my jaunt through the vast Supernatural fandom

My life sucked, not in the sexy candlelit way either.

It was more like dropping out of college, taking a job as a waitress to support your addict father type of sucked. It obviously didn't help that I was a twenty-year-old fat virgin. Some people use fat to describe themselves when they obviously only have a little bit of extra chub on their frame. That wasn't me, I was 125 pounds overweight. Now I wasn't completely cursed with bad genes as I am 5 10" so I'd like to think that I carry it well due to my height.

I work at a twenty-four-hour breakfast spot, I was on the late shift. It was 3 am and we were nearing the end of my shift. Hallelujah. Now a lot of breakfast places have alright uniforms, but in my case, they were horrendous. It was hideous and a bright red with a black apron. As a pale redhead the cardinal rule is never wear anything red, especially when it was nearly neon, it was not a good look for my complexion.

The ironic part of my story is that I believed I was normal. I believed that I was just another college dropout with shitty parents. Turns out I was wrong. Not a huge surprise as I often am.

My head popped up when the tiny bell rang signaling the entrance of new customers. I silently prayed that it wasn't more drunk people. Since 12 am hit that was all I had been dealing with. We were fairly close to downtown, and thus fairly close to a plethora of nightclubs. They didn't look inebriated. They looked like they had been in a pretty massive brawl. There was a tall one, a short one, and a man in a trench-coat. I looked to my manager, my eyes pleading like a puppy. 'Please don't make me serve them, I wanna go home.' The greasy face teenager scowled. Fuck. I pulled three menus from the hostess stand and pasted on my best fake smile.  

"Welcome to Savory and Sweet, just the three of you?" I tried to infuse as much chipper in my tone as I could. The short man grunted in agreement. "Alright follow me." I lead them to a table near to the kitchen. They slid into the booth. Talley on one side, Shorty on the other, and Trenchcoat took a seat next to him. Talley pulled out a computer from his man satchel. Welp, there goes going home soon. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Coffee for all of us,” His eyes flicked to my name tag on my chest. “Cora." Shorty shot me what I supposed was a charming smile. But it was ruined by the fact that a slow trickle of blood started to ooze from his face. My eyes followed it as it traveled down his model worthy visage.

"We have a first aid kit." I offered. I looked to the other men. The Tall one was bruised but not bleeding. Trenchcoat looked completely fine. His eyes bore into my face. Oh god, his blue eyes. I had never seen any shade of blue that bright on a person in my life. Wait, wait, wait, they were glowing. It was faint, I'm sure in darkness it would be like a flashlight, but in the bright fluorescents of the restaurant to was muted. "Cool contacts, I didn't know they made glow in the dark ones." I smiled and his brows furrowed.

"Cool contacts, I didn't know they made glow in the dark ones." I smiled and his brows furrowed.

"A first aid kit would be great." Shorty was still smiling but he had lost his charm. The smile was now one of steel. 

"Coming right up." I walked away keeping them in the corner of my eye. They had opened the menus but were clearly not reading them. They were whispering intensely, well Shorty and Talley were but Trench-Coat sat there, brows furrowed, full lips in a straight line.

I ducked under the counter and pulled out the well stocked first aid kit. We always needed to keep replenishing it. Drunk people weren't the most graceful. I tucked the metal box under my arm and grabbed three mugs in one hand, and a burning hot carafe of coffee in the other. "Here we are." I set each cup in front of the men and filled each cup with the black liquid life force. "I'll leave both of these here." I set the kit down in front of Shorty. "Have you decided what you want to order?" I flipped open my notebook and grabbed a pen from the apron.

"Here we are." I set each cup in front of the men and filled each cup with the black liquid life force. "I'll leave both of these here." I set the kit down in front of Shorty. "Have you decided what you want to order?" I flipped open my notebook and grabbed a pen from the apron.

"I'll have the spinach egg white omelet." Talley smiled and started typing away on the computer. 

"Sausage bacon scramble, extra bacon." I turned my attention to Trench-Coat. 

"Nothing for me." His voice was a deep reverberation of warmth. It shook me to my core. I swallowed roughly and nodded.

"Coming right up." I said, my voice was unsteady and weak. I turned away quickly, frantically disappearing into the kitchen. I pulled the note with their order and clipped it onto the rotating wheel. The tired looking chef, Barty, glanced at it and started the bacon.

"Y'all right?" Barty asked as he noticed my probably pale face and shaky motions.

"Yeah, yeah. Just...You ever meet someone and you get this rush of feelings and you can't quite sort them out."

"Oooo, mama's got a crush." He danced slightly in place repeatedly singing them. 

"Shut up." I groaned a flush spreading over my face. I fanned myself hoping the blush would abate and went out and took care of the rest of my tables, refilling drinks and asking the ever so annoying question of "Is everything alright?" I avoided the boy's table like the plague.

The door clinked open again, a group of five well-muscled men walked in. My manager for once got up and seated them. It was a surprise since he rarely got off his bony ass and did some work. He was perpetually glued to his phone, in a spare booth, only sweeping in when there was a large group or a really attractive guy. It was a surprise he didn't take Shorty, Talley, and Trenchcoat. They looked like they had come out of a fashion magazine. A small ding sounded from the back and I went cold. Fuck me. "Order up!" Barty shouted, and from the tone of his voice, I could tell he was smiling.

"Order up!" Barty shouted, and from the tone of his voice, I could tell he was smiling. He probably cooked it as quick as he possibly could. 

I took a long way around completely bypassing their table and walking past the group of five. As I got closer to the group my skin started to crawl. There was something inherently wrong with them. I avoided their eyes and forced a smile on as I passed. Even though I wasn't looking at them I could tell they were looking at me. Their eyes bore into my back. I shook off the feeling and grabbed the plates a food from the metal shelf. I shuffled the few feet to their table. 

"Here we are." I chirped. "Anything else I can get you?" I looked at each of them briefly and nearly fainted when Trench-Coat came into focus. He had wings, huge black shadowy wings. I rubbed my eyes, this had to be an exhaustion induced illusion right? They were folded into his back, but the one closest to me had outstretched into the aisle. "Neat trick." I stuttered. It had to an illusion, something to do with lights perhaps? I reached out my hand and brushed the wing. Nope definitely not an illusion. It was warm and the feathers were soft. "A little early for Halloween." I laughed, but even to my ears, I could tell it sounded panicked and forced.

"Cas?" Shorty asked his eyes fluttering in between my hand and his wing. "What is she talkin' about?"

"My wings, Dean." Cas replied looking even more perplexed than before. "She can see my wings." Talley spluttered on his coffee, and Dean gaped.

"How is that possible?" Talley asked reaching for the napkins on the table.

"I'm not sure. Only other angels can see them. But she is human, no special qualities about her."  

"You said that special humans can sometimes understand Angel Talk.." I tuned out. These people were crazy. Legitimately nuts-o-crazio.

"Enjoy your meal." I whispered faintly and backed away slowly, keeping my eyes on them. I could feel the carpet change to tile under my feet and I knew that I was nearly in the kitchen. I shuffled one more step and I slipped. I caught myself against the wall, and I looked down. A scream erupted from my mouth and I scrambled back into the dining room. Staring at me from the opening of the kitchen was the head of Barty. His eyes were lifeless, and his mouth

I could feel the carpet change to tile under my feet and I knew that I was nearly in the kitchen. I shuffled one more step and I slipped. I caught myself against the wall, and I looked down. A scream erupted from my mouth and I scrambled back into the dining room. Staring at me from the opening of the kitchen was the head of Barty. His eyes were lifeless, and his mouth open in a scream that would never come. The floor was slicked with blood, and I'm sure the rest of him was by his stove.

"What is it?" Dean demanded, and they all slid out of the booth. 

With a shaking hand I pointed to the kitchen, and Dean took a few steps forward and looked in. I breathed through my nose harshly, trying to calm the rising gorge in my throat. Please don't vomit.  I turned to look at the other two men trying to purge the image of a severed head out of my mind. Something warm brushed my side and I jumped. Looking down I could see the black shadow of Cas's wing, he curled it momentarily before allowing it to fall closed against his back. He wasn't looking at me, in fact, he was scanning the rest of the restaurant. From what I could see everyone else was still alive. The sounds of eating and conversations filled the restaurant. "Sulfur." Deans sudden reemergence made me jump. "A lot of it." The men turned serious. "We gotta go, too many of them to handle and we don't have anything but the knife, and the gun in my waistband."

"Sulfur." Deans sudden reemergence made me jump. "A lot of it." The men turned serious. "We gotta go, too many of them to handle and we don't have anything but the knife, and the gun in my waistband."

"We have to call the cops." I murmured numbly. "They'll know what to do."

"We have to go. Now." Dean took me by the arm and started leading me to the front.

His eyes flashed from patron to patron, looking for something. We halted when we reached the large windows at the front. He cursed. "Dammit, too late." He backpedaled into the restaurant dining room. He put me up against the wall, and the two boys started gathering the salt off of the tables. The customers looked at them in disbelief. Cas stood next to me, tensed a blade came down from his sleeve and he held it loosely in his palm. His wingspan had spread across the wall. It was a pleasant heat against my back. I could feel the softness even through my clothes.

The taller man started to pour the salt in a circle around me. Shaker after shaker they emptied. That'll be a mess to clean up. My manager finally snapped out of the shock that had overcome him. His apron was dotted with blood. "He's gone!" His voice was shrill and he was pale. "Get him in the circle, Sam." The tall one, Sam, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the circle, careful not to disturb the line of salt. Cas shifted out of the circle and began ushering some of the other patrons into the circle.

"He's gone!" His voice was shrill and he was pale. "Get him in the circle, Sam." The tall one, Sam, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the circle, careful not to disturb the line of salt. Cas shifted out of the circle and began ushering some of the other patrons into the circle.

"Get him in the circle, Sam." The tall one, Sam, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the circle, careful not to disturb the line of salt. Cas shifted out of the circle and began ushering some of the other patrons into the circle.

The tall one, Sam, grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into the circle, careful not to disturb the line of salt. Cas shifted out of the circle and began ushering some of the other patrons into the circle.

As with anything the most destructive events always start with silence. 

Everyone was quite as we had been ushered. But the table, the table that I was so uneasy about had continued to eat merrily. "Dean," Cas growled, his eyes were fixed that table. "they're here." Dean pulled a gun from his waistband and with a click and pressure he shot. The bullet sliced the air and embedded itself in the skull of one of the men. I expected him to slump over, but he hardly jerked. He sat stock still and slowly turned his head.

"Dean," Cas growled, his eyes were fixed that table. "they're here." Dean pulled a gun from his waistband and with a click and pressure he shot. The bullet sliced the air and embedded itself in the skull of one of the men. I expected him to slump over, but he hardly jerked. He sat stock still and slowly turned his head.

Dean pulled a gun from his waistband and with a click and pressure he shot. The bullet sliced the air and embedded itself in the skull of one of the men. I expected him to slump over, but he hardly jerked. He sat stock still and slowly turned his head.

"That wasn't nice." He said softly a slight lisp catching on the S. The windows at the front of the building suddenly shattered. Men, women, young and old, eyes black came climbing over the shattered empty window panes.

"We gotta get out of here!" A startled scantily clad woman, clearly coming from the club, exclaimed. Her equally dressed friend and the man next to them clearly agreed. They seemed to nod all together and they took off to the back. As they went they kicked the salt circle to bits. My manager gave me a look and then followed shortly behind him. The last I heard of them was their screams. 

I wasn't quite sure what to do. My nerves screamed at me to follow them. Escape through the back into the night as far away from the creepy black eyed people and the man with the wings. 

But my brain told me to stay with the only people that knew what the hell was going on. I flattened myself against the wall and hoped to be unnoticed. Bursts of light and black smoke filled the restaurant. I watched as the boys threw hit after hit and took hit after hit. Sam hadn't been bleeding before but now blood was pouring down his face, Dean was just as bloody, but Cas he looked like he didn't have a mark on him. The demons, I felt silly for even thinking that that was what they were, suddenly stopped their attentions on the boys and started crowding Cas. He was easily facing five of them at once. One of them landed a blow and his shiny knife went flying. Sam and Dean were entangled in their own battles, they weren't paying attention to their friend who was just about to lose his.

My feet were moving before I registered what I was doing. One of them had the knife. Cas wasn't paying attention to the man who was approaching him from the back. He wore a wicked smile as he raised the knife. It felt like I was running through water even though I knew I was running. I knew I was breaking into a sprint. But I felt so slow. Something shifted inside of me and I was standing in the way of the blade. The shiny metal swung down and I felt my flesh part as it embedded itself in my chest. It was a down swung and instantly I couldn't breathe. Then the pain, so much pain. It was a burning pain, the kind that sears your soul, the kind that you wish it would stop as soon as it started. I slumped back, I felt the softness of the feathers, warmth, and the rough fabric of a trench coat.

The fighting had stopped and black smoke drifted up and out of the restaurant, bodies hit the floor. "They're gone." Sam panted.

"The hell was that?" I could see Dean out of the corner of my eye. He tucked the gun back into his waistband. The warmth shifted and instead of a trench coat I was pressed against the soft cotton and silk of his button down and his tie. He caught me around the waist and slowly lowered me to the debris littered ground. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he squinted and he frowned deeply. "Shit." Dean exclaimed. My breath came sharply and my eyes were dotted with little black dots. Not long now.

"Can you save her?" Sam whispered and crouched low next to me. Cas's coat brushed my shoulder as he kneeled over me.

"This'll hurt." His hands closed over the blade and he I could've sworn that his eyes were brighter than before. In one great yank, he pulled it free. I screamed hoarsely. If I thought getting stabbed hurt getting unstabbed hurt a thousand times more. His hands covered the wound. "Impossible." There was another burning in my chest, this time it was more like a sunburn rather than a sear. His hands reached to the collar of my shirt and ripped it clean down the middle. I wanted to reach up and cover myself but I couldn't find the energy.

"The hel--Holy shit." Dean came closer. "You're not doing that."

"No, Dean I am not." Cas said matter of factly.  

"Wha...what..is it?" I gasped. I looked down. My flesh was knitting itself together. I met the black.

I met the black.

I was gently rocking, up and down every so often. I groaned. The blanket covering me was rough, not as soft as the one that I had on my bed at home. My eyes struggled open and I squinted at the bright light. The roof above me was tan and curved. I tilted my head and sat up straight. There was a sudden influx of air and a started groan and gasp escaped my throat. I pulled the fabric back up. I wasn't wearing a shirt, just a bra. Not a dream. Sam and Dean sat in front, Dean behind the wheel. I was in a car, a moving car. The scenery flying past wasn't the desert that I was used to. Tall pines and lush greenery surrounded us. 

"Back from the dead." Dean's eyes peered at me from the rear view mirror.

"Where am I? What the fuck happened? Where's your freaky winged friend? Where the fucking fuck are you taking me?" I was shrill. I tucked the fabric under my arms as I gestured wildly.

"Whoa, whoa." Sam turned in his seat facing me head on. "It wasn't safe there, the demons," he motioned to his eyes. "think you're dead, not much survives the blade you were stabbed with. As for where we are, we're about an hour away from Kansas." I gaped at him. How long was I out? Phoenix to Kansas, that's a day maybe more of driving. "You've been asleep for at least 24 hours."

"What, why-" I stammered.

"Were they after you?" Dean interjected. "The winged freak is off trying to find out." He grinned at me through the mirror. "I expect he also wants his coat back, he should check in anytime now." My nearly bare back thumped against the worn leather seat. I was glad I had chosen a sturdy bra that morning. An ugly, old, vaguely gray sturdy bra. The type of bra your grandma wears. They all had the privilege of seeing me in that bra. I felt the flush all the way to my bones. My body was on display for men that looked better than me even bloodied up. Don't get me wrong, I liked my body most days. It was lumpy and large, crisscrossed with pale pink marks that resembled lightning. But the only people I had shown my body to in years was my Doctor and that one guy who I bailed on when we got too hot and heavy.

At my feet, there was a beat up cooler. My stomach grumbled, god I was hungry. I bent over and flipped open the cooler. It was filled with beer and half-melted ice. Great, raging alcoholics. I thumped it close. I cleared my throat. "Any chance I could get a shirt?" Dean chuckled.

"Cas really did tear that shirt to shreds." His eyes locked on mine through the mirror. "You must be something special to get him so hot and bothered." He laughed again at his own joke.

"Dean!" Sam exclaimed elbowing him in the side

"What?!" Dean held up his hands in mock surrender. Sam turned around again.

"We'll stop soon, I've got a spare shirt. Bet you're hungry." My stomach growled again. He smiled. "There's a diner a few miles away, we'll stop there." Dean started to grumble, Sam nudged him again.

I took a breath. "After I passed out what happened?"

"Well, your skin did that freaky thing and then we cut you with silver, doused you with holy water and then some borax just in case." Dean said nonchalantly and then clicked on the radio to some classic rock.

"What my brother means to say is that we checked to make sure you weren't anything dangerous. Then Castiel carried you out of there to the car. We've been driving ever since." There was a slight flutter beside me.

"You called?" I jumped at the sudden onset of the gravely voice and Dean swerved muttering expletives all the while. I pressed myself flush against the car door looking at the man who had just teleported into a moving car. Dressed in only a blue rumpled suit he didn’t resemble the man, no wait angel (right?), that I had seen effortlessly fighting the demons last night. He certainly didn’t look as intimidating without the coat that I was using as a makeshift cover up.

“Jesus Cas!” Dean exclaimed. “You need a fricken bell.”

“You called?” He repeated again, same tone of voice, same expression. I couldn’t help but stare at the wings crowding the small space. I could see right through the shadowy black impressions. I reached my hand up and caressed the downy soft feathers. I could feel them, it was strange I couldn’t see much detail but I could feel every groove and divot in them. I could feel the individual feathers; they were like velvet. The wing twitched. I drew my hand away from them. He was looking straight at me. The glow of his eyes wasn’t as pronounced in the sunlight, but they made the blue of his iris’s stand out even more.

“Sorry.” I whispered. I clasped my hands together in my lap. He still stared. “I’m sure you want your jacket back, um, Sam said he has a shirt for me, uh, when we stop I’ll give it back.” He tilted his head, his eyes felt like they were boring into my face.

“Dude,” He pried his gaze away to follow Dean’s voice. “don’t stare at a lady like that.”

“Like what?” Cas asked frowning.

“Like she’s an animal at the zoo.” His frown deepened.

“You all are animals, but I see no cages. She is quite free.”

What the hell was this guy?

Dean blew out a breath. “All I mean Cas is that it freaks people out.” Cas nodded an expression of thoughtfulness crossing his face. “Any news Cas?”

“The legions of hell know she isn’t dead. My brothers and sisters are curious, only because the demons are restless.”

“Why are they after her?” Sam asked.

“I do not know.” Cas’s words hung heavily in the air. “I imagine it has something to do with her healing powers.”

I swallowed through the lump of panic in my throat. His wings twitched again, this time I could feel the warmth brush up against my bare shoulder. “I don’t know what it is.” I said softly. “It’s never happened before. I’ve never met those people, demons,” I amended. “or seen anyone with wings and glowy eyes.”  

“I may be able to help.” Cas offered. 

I looked into his face he looked nothing but earnest if a little kind. I took a deep breath and nodded giving him a small smile. He raised his hand and pressed two fingers to my temple and closed his eyes. It felt slightly warm like I had just finished blow drying my hair. With his eyes closed, I could focus on the man himself. He was a few inches taller than myself, from what I could remember from the diner. His hair was dark and his cheekbones stood prominently on his face. The corners of his eyes were slightly indented with wrinkles and his lips were full. He had stubble framing them. He was gorgeous, I know traditionally men are considered handsome, or attractive, but he was every embodiment of the word. Sonnets would be written about that face.

His hand dropped from my temple. He opened his eyes and his brow furrowed. “Sonnets?” It was the type of embarrassment that feels like your throat is closing because you can’t really breathe because of the shock. My face was beet red and I just want to throw the jacket covering me over my entire head.

Thank god for Sam because he chose the moment to interrupt. “Anything Cas?”

“No, nothing remarkable about her childhood. Her father injects himself a lot, perhaps that had something to do with it?” This time around it was an uncomfortably heavy silence. I wanted to hide, I wanted to get out of this car, away from him. The brothers are fine, but the pretty package and amazing wings seemed to lack a whole hell of a lot of tact. He seemed to say all the right things to strip me bare at my core.

This time around it was an uncomfortably heavy silence. I wanted to hide, I wanted to get out of this car, away from him. The brothers are fine, but the pretty package and amazing wings seemed to lack a whole hell of a lot of tact. He seemed to say all the right things to strip me bare at my core.

Pressure built in my head and I screwed my eyes shut, a slight moan escaped my mouth and I rubbed at my forehead. Wind brushed against my back. My eyes immediately opened. Holy fucking fuck.

I wasn’t in the car anymore.

I was in the middle of a forest. Tall trees surrounded me on all sides. I shivered slightly and the drop in temperature. “Where the hell am I?” I muttered and pulled the coat away from me to shove my arms through the holes. I was thankful that it fit, albeit a little tight around my chest and my pudgy belly. I was able to do up a few buttons, covering the flesh of my stomach and hiding my blood-stained bra. But beyond that, it was cleavage central.

I was glad my shoes had sturdy soles since the terrain was so uneven. My eyes kept scanning the forest, searching for any sign of movement. “Hello?” I called out. I paused, listening for an answer. “Sam, Dean, Ca—”

“My dear girl.” I spun around. A woman dressed in a gray gown that brushed the forest floor stood behind me. Her red hair was done in an up do and a black flower was clipped to her curls. She took a few steps forward and I took a few back. There was an ethereal glow around her, a yellow kind of aura that was tinged with tendrils of gray. Her pretty face frowned.

“Don’t you recognize me?” I looked her up and down. Never in my life had I ever seen her. I shook my head.

“Surely you must, I’ve sent photos, gifts, I visited when you were young.” I shook my head again.

“Oh dear.” She breathed and wrung her hands together. She put an obviously forced smile on her face.

“My name is Persephone.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't promise that I will update every day or even every week, but I will do my best to post when I can. 
> 
> Enjoy!

“You’re kidding.” I gaped. “No way, you’re nuts.” She grinned and crouched low to the ground. She put her hands to the damp soil and to my amazement the ground that was just mud, trees and patches of grass bloomed. Lush grass sprouted up along with flowers of every color and the trees that had been sparse, grew leaves at a startling pace. The air felt fresher, birds chirped and I laughed plucking one of the flowers from the ground. I took in the sweet scent. “Why are you here?” She took my hand and led me to one of the many overturned logs. Her gown billowed as she sat. I took a seat next to her as she pulled one of my hands into her lap and entwined our fingers.

“My husband encouraged me to come.”

“Hades?”

She smiled and nodded. “I’m not usually above ground this time of year if my mother knew she’d have a fit.” Her fingers squeezed mine. “I wanted to come, I’ve wanted to come for so long, to show you the way.” Her eyes grew glassy. “But my _mother_ ,” she spat the word out. “if she knew you existed it’d be the end for me, for my marriage, for everything I hold dear.”

A lump grew in my throat.

“But it seems I have no choice in the matter. Crowley, somehow he found out. You were a secret, the best kind.” Her eyes grew fierce before she calmed.  “My husband and I, we can’t have children, we’ve tried for centuries. We’ve done everything possible, consulted the fates, human remedies, nothing worked. But then we found out that it wasn’t him nor me, I bring life, he resides over the dead. We were never meant to have children. It is impossible, had it been anyone other than him or anyone other than me we would have no trouble.”

“What are you trying to say?” I asked hoarsely.

“I had to go aboveground.” She continued. “We talked it over, we talked for ages, we just wanted a baby. I consulted my nymphs, loyal nymphs, and they found a man. He was a bit down on his luck, but his soul was pure. My nymphs seduced him, brought his essence to me and I fell pregnant. I went back to the underworld and my husband and I were happy. But the pregnancy wasn’t easy. You grew and grew, but it was painful. I came to term and then went over term. No matter what I tried I couldn’t give birth, I had to go above ground. Hades escorted me as long as he could, he can’t go above ground though he wished to for this moment. I gave birth in a cave, my husband standing feet away, the breach between two worlds. You were beautiful when you came. Pink and screaming a dusting of red hair on your head.” She took a deep breath, my body felt frozen despite the coat covering me. “I couldn’t take you back.” Her voice quivered. “I wanted to, I tried to. But new life, it’s not allowed into the underworld. Hades never got to hold you, you were his daughter in every way but blood. All he could do was watch from the entryway.” Slow tears tracked down her cheeks. “I didn’t want to give you up, I had wanted you for centuries. But I couldn’t take you down with me without killing you, I couldn’t stay above ground for fear of my mother, the only place I could stay was in that cave. That’s no place for a growing child.”

“What did you do?” I felt numb, my voice dull to even my own years.

“I had my nymphs find your biological Dad. He had a job a new house, he was single, but he seemed to be on the right path.” I scoffed and she winced. “They took you to him, along with a letter telling him your name, date of birth, and when I’d visit next. Along with this.” She held out her free hand and before my eyes the little glass knickknack that sat on my dresser popped into existence. It was beautiful, in the shape of a large forget-me-not. “We were able to keep an eye on you as you grew. We were there for first steps, sicknesses, nightmares, everything.” She said seriously.

“You weren’t though.” I yanked my hand from her grasp. “You weren’t there when I was making dinner for myself when I was five, the slaps, the drug use. The verbal abuse. You put me with that monster.” She ducked her head. “Your husband, you, anyone could’ve stopped it. Your family is all Gods and Goddesses!”

“Someone was always—”

“Bull!” My voice grew louder. “If someone was always there they would’ve done something, I was screaming, begging for a mother. No one ever came. You, _you,_ could’ve come. When winter ended you had twenty chances to come for me.”

I was breathing hard just looking at her my _mother_. She was beautiful and I could see bits of myself in her, the hair, the greenish gray eyes, the lips. Her figure was fuller, though not as full as mine. But she looked like a broken woman, despite her beauty, her posture, her expression, to me it all screamed broken. “Why are you here now?” I asked, my arms crossed and I scooted away from her.

She cleared her throat. “Crowely knows about you, he’s the king of hell.” My brow wrinkled in confusion. “Hades runs the sublayer, Crowley the top. Crowley wants all of it. The souls in the Elysium Fields, Asphodel Meadows, even Tararus. More souls equal more power. He can’t hurt us without hefty consequences with the other Gods. But you, you can be hurt. Other Gods don’t generally care about demi-goddesses.”

“So he offs me, then what, you get angry?”

Her eyes fixed on mine. “He wouldn’t kill you, he would keep you captive, use you as leverage, get Hades to give up his kingdom for you. Crowley knows he would.” I couldn’t quite wrap my head around the devotion that Hades had on someone he had never met, me. “Cora, we love you, if he could be here he would, but he’s on probation for a few more centuries.” I shifted uncomfortably, I had just met this woman, just heard of her husband in anything other than a mythology textbook, I couldn’t say if I loved them. 

“That can’t be all, why are you here now?” I asked again.

“Right,” A smile split her lips. “I unlocked your powers. As soon as the Winchesters made their way into the restaurant I knew I had to. I barely had enough warning from the messengers to do so. Running into an angel blade like that.” She tsked. “They’ll develop over time, even I don’t know what you’ll get.” I could feel a headache coming on. Powers, as in plural? “With me it probably has something to due with regeneration.”

“Healing, I think.” I sighed. “I also see and feel things, like with Cas—” She put her hand over my mouth stopping me from finishing his name.

“He’s an angel, if he’s looking for you he’ll find you as soon as you say his name.” She muttered and then pulled her hand away. “You have the sight,” She grinned. “it’s handy for seeing things like they really are. The healing thing is just part of our bloodline, it’s useful.”

I stood from the log and brushed of Cas’s coat.

She snapped her fingers and I turned. She was holding a large box. “In this box are letters, from me, from Hades, there’s also some clothes, I had one of the souls add them after I got reports that you left so suddenly. There’s also a necklace, you’ll know it when you see it, you need only grab it and say my name and I’ll hear you and send help.” She placed it on the log. This was goodbye. I felt a pang of sadness at the thought. I could empathize with her, but right now, I couldn’t forgive her.

“How did I get here, and how do I get back?”

“You’re near Hellam Township in Pennsylvania, there’s a gate there. I brought you here. You only need to call out to your Angel friend to get back if you wish to, the Winchester’s will keep you safe." She sighed and shook her head. "Putting people back in moving cars is exceedingly difficult, I’m not sure how he manages it.” She gave me a sad smile. “Goodbye Cora, I hope I can see you soon.” I blinked and she was gone. If it wasn’t for the box, I would’ve thought it was all a hallucination.

I pulled off the lid and sure enough, there was a yellow lace dress, a denim jacket, a couple tank tops, and a pair of jeans. On the very bottom of the pile was a spare nondescript bra. I looked around. I was alone enough. I unbuttoned his jacket and folded it over the log. I shimmed out of my work pants and toed off my shoes. I slid on the jeans surprised that they fit perfectly. I unclipped my bra and winced as the dried blood pulled at my skin as it unstuck. I really needed a bath. I put on the new bra after unsuccessfully trying to rub off the red patches. Then came the tank top, it was black and nondescript and it was loose and comfortable. I topped it off with the dark nearly black denim jacket. I sat and put on my shoes again. From the corner of my eye something caught my attention. I tightened my laces and peered into the box.

Off to the side was something shiny. I reached my hand down and plucked it out. On a thin, but strong, silver chain sat a pendant. It was a deep red gem in the shape of a pomegranate. I chuckled at the imagery. After a moments hesitation, I slid the pendant over my head and around my neck. It hung low, and I tucked it under my shirt. I could see the edges of paper underneath the fabric of the clothes and I itched to read them all. I forced myself to close the box and fold Cas’s jacket over the top before settling it into my arms and standing up.

“Castiel!” I called, feeling vaguely silly at the action. “Castiel, are you there?” I called again. “It’s Cora…”

“How did you get here?” I jumped startled at his sudden presence. I turned, just seeing his face made the embarrassment that I had temporarily forgotten come to the surface.

            “My Mom’s apparently a Goddess.” He stared for a moment then nodded. “Here’s your jacket.” I held out my arms offering him the jacket covering the box. He stepped closer and his hand grasped the fabric and then he was shrugging it on. “Can you take me back to the brothers?”

            “I can.” His hand closed on my shoulder and with a blink, I was sitting across from Sam and Dean in the diner, Castiel right beside me. Dean choked around the burger he was eating and Sam spilled the coffee all over himself.

            Dean eventually swallowed. “C’mon man!”

            Sam patted himself down with a plethora of napkins. “Cora, what the hell happened?”

            I slid the box onto the table, it was wooden and decorated with trees and flowers around the sides and on the very top was a man and a woman holding hands, beneath their hands was a small child. “I met my Mom.” I wasn’t sure if I should tell them about my lineage. “She sorta poofed me to her.”

            They waited, perhaps for me to tell them anything else. “That’s it?” Dean put down his burger. “You get pulled out of baby, going about, oh I don’t know, seventy miles an hour. We stop thinking something had pulled you out, check the woods, nothing. Cas is going everywhere looking for you, Sam’s about to summon the king of hell, and I’m preparing for another fricken demon army to surround us at any minute, and that’s all you got, she poofed you.” Anger simmered in his eyes as he stared me down. “Fine, you wanna do this princess, we can do this the hard way.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. In an instant he was pulling me from the booth and despite my struggles he was cuffing my hands together. Sam protested and Cas just stared. There were no diners in the restaurant so no one stepped up to help. He pushed me back into the booth.

            He slid his plate over and pulled my wooden box in front of him. His hands tried flicking open the latch but it wouldn’t budge. He grabbed one of the knives on the table and tried prying it but it still stayed close. He stood from the booth again and grabbed his gun from the waistband of his pants he aimed at the box and… “Wait.” Castiel called from behind me. “I know what she is, she will not harm you.”

            “What is she?” Dean tucked the gun back into his pants. Castiel’s eyes met mine and I knew I was pleading with him to not tell them.

            “Her great great great grandmother was a Nephilim. She can see what I am and heal because of it.” He just lied for me, an angel just lied. Shouldn't that be against some cosmic code?

            “That doesn’t explain the sudden disappearance.” Dean sat back down.

            “Angels, likely her great great great grandfather.” Dean stared Cas down and Cas, well he didn’t blink. The wings at his back were just as still.  The tense moment lasted for a moment before Dean threw a pair of shiny keys in the air which Cas caught without so much as a hesitation. I shuffled around so the cuffs were visible to him. His hand rested on my wrist as he uncuffed me.  

  The metal thunked on the table and I rubbed my wrists as Dean stuffed the items back into his pockets. “No hard feelings princess.” He slid the box back to me and went back to his burger. I rested my hands on my lap clasping them together. Sam started to ramble on about some case, filling the awkwardly silent air with chatter. I looked down at my clasped hands, Castiel’s thigh was inches from mine, once of his wings was folded inward the other, the one closest to me spanned across the back of my shoulders and into the aisle. The bottom feathers rested into the space between our thighs. My fingers twitched, wanting to reach out and feel their softness.

Instead, I did something that I didn’t expect to do.

Under the table, away from prying eyes, I reached for the hand that rested on the booth. I put my hand into his much larger one and squeezed my thanks. They were warm and slightly rough with calluses. It took a moment before he responded but he squeezed in response. I bit back the smile and pulled my hand free. I couldn’t resist the urge to brush my fingertips across the low hanging feathers.

“…drop you off.” I snapped my head up. Sam was looking at me expectantly from across the table.

“Sorry?” I said meekly.

He looked between me and Cas. “We’re going to drop you off at the bunker, it’s about thirty minutes away. It’s stocked up with some decent supplies. We have a case in the next state over so we figured it’d be safer to drop you off.”

“Um, sure, that sounds good. They can’t get me in there right?” Both brothers shook their head. The waitress came by again and I ordered a chicken club to go since the boys were in a rush. I didn’t want to piss off Dean any more than necessary, he seemed to be on a short leash. Especially with me. Two twenties were placed on the table when the Styrofoam box was given to me. I put it on top of the box and gathered it. I followed them back to the car, but when I looked back to see if Castiel was following, he was gone.

Sam opened the door for me and I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment. I never got to verbally thank him for keeping my secret. I set the box into the back seat first before sliding in next to it.

The engine started with a loud roar and we were pulling out of the diner’s lot. My eyes drifted to the rear view mirror out of habit. My poor car was probably impounded by now. There was a well-dressed man staring at the Impala as we turned onto the street. His eyes were bright red.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm already at 10,000 words! 
> 
> I shudder to think what it'll be when I'm actually done :)

“Uh, guys.” I turned my body to properly look out of the window. “Dapper dressed men and red eyes aren’t common around these parts are they?” He was walking out onto the parking lot. We were further away but not far enough.

Sam turned to look at what I was looking at. “Crowley.” He hissed.

“Shit.” Dean put his foot down on the accelerator pushing us faster down the road. My hand reached for the cool pendant under my clothes. It had stayed the same temperature since I had put it on. It was a little reminder that it was with me. I fished it between my cleavage and gripped it tight.

“Persephone.” I whispered faintly. I knew the boys couldn’t hear me over the sound of the engine. “Crowley’s found me.” The pendant slightly warmed under my palm before it cooled again. I dropped the pendant back under my clothes. Crowley was still there; a mere speck of dark fabric in the distance.

“Castiel!” Sam shouted. “We need your help!” They must call on him often, it seemed like he never left their side. Dean pushed down on the accelerator harder and I pulled my attention from the back window and I nearly screamed at the sight in front of us. A row of black eyed demons stood farther down the road, with Crowley dead center.

“Cas!” Dean added, he wasn’t slowing down, we were going to hit them head on. “Sammy buckle up,” his eyes went to mine. “you too.” My fingers scrambled to the seatbelt I tightened it over my waist and clicked it in.

“Castiel.” I murmured over and over again. Please hurry, please. I pulled the box onto my lap, mostly just to stop it from banging all over the place. I winced as we hit a particularly vicious pothole; screwed my eyes shut. A hand grabbed my shoulder and it was suddenly silent. I blinked my eyes open and a flutter of wings and a gust of wind was all that greeted me. I was in a library. Several tables sat in the center of the room and from my vantage point I could see a larger table down a few stairs and a landing above it. I set my box down on the closest table and ran my fingers over some of the book spines. Some were in Latin, others in a language I didn’t recognize, and many didn’t have titles on their spines, they were just bound in soft leather. I kept myself busy exploring the room, a knot of worry in my stomach.

I was alone in the library for close to an hour before a door slammed open. My eyes flew to the landing. Sam came bounding down the stairs. “You’re alright!” I exclaimed. He grinned.

“All in a day’s work.” He pulled out the chair across from me and took a seat. “But it’s the strangest thing, the demons were pulled into the ground, meat suit and all. Crowley looked about as shocked as we were.” I swallowed heavily. “Even Castiel was shocked.” He looked at me pointedly. His arms crossed over his chest and he leaned back. “Dean’s checking over the Impala in the garage, he’ll be awhile.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Sam.” Under the table, I clasped my fingers together. Lying was never my forte, it especially wasn’t something that I did often, especially a lie of this magnitude.

“The truth would be great.” He grinned but his eyes were like steel. “Cas is many things but a great liar isn’t one of them. Dean tends to take things at face value, more so in the heat of the moment.”

“Sam,” I started. “I…uh don’t quite believe it myself. I’m still trying to believe it, so.” I shrugged.

“I get it you need time, but if it’s anything dangerous we need to know,” He sighed and ran his hands down his face. “sooner rather than later.”

“I think it’s just Crowley that wants me.” Sam laughed bitterly.

“Just Crowley, huh?” He pushed the chair back from the table. “C’mon, we’ve got some spare rooms you can stay in. It seems like you’ll be here awhile.” I followed him down the hall, box in my arms, I took in the obvious beauty in the place. Walls decorated with dark brick, white and black marble floors, it was beautiful but so old fashioned. “Kitchen.” He pointed to a door to the right.

We turned a corner and there were four doors on either side. “Dean’s room is down the hall, mine’s right here,” He indicated to the door closest to him. “take your pick. They may be a bit dusty.”

I paused, looking at each of the doors in turn. My initial thought was to take the room next to Sam’s since he seemed to be the level headed one. But I decided on the room diagonal from his. One room away from Dean’s. “Shower’s around the corner.” He gave me a small smile and went into his room. The door knob was cool under my palm as I turned it. The room was like stepping into a time capsule.

The bed was mused, a book sat open on the desk. There were photos on the walls, all black and white with people dressed in what I assumed was 40s attire. I set down my box on the desk and plucked one of the photos from the wall. A beautiful woman and a fairly attractive man stood next to each other. They wore genuine smiles on their faces, I flipped it over. Henry and Josie. There were several other photographs on the wall all with different people, some smiled others looked stoic. The photos were all taken in same part of the library. Right between two bookshelves. I gently pressed it back to the wall.

So many people, where had they all gone?

A thick coating of dust seemed to cover everything. I’m sure the desk was once a dark mahogany brown but now it just looked like a faded imitation. The bed linens were a grayish color even though they were probably white once upon a time. I sighed. So much work to do. I pulled open the closet doors. Inside hanging innocently were several suits, button downs, ties, and coats. I pulled out one of the dress shirts. Large man. There was no doubt that the button downs would fit, the jackets would as well. But I saw no need for suits. I pulled them from their hangers and onto the dusty bed. Pile after pile grew underwear, dress socks, suit jackets. All the stuff I wouldn’t, or couldn’t wear. I kept a few pairs of boxers, one pair of panties can only go so far.

I gathered the clothing in my arms and nudged open the door. I looked down either end of the hallway, empty. I had no idea where to go. I sighed and knocked on Sam’s door a bit awkwardly. After a few moments I heard shuffling and a bleary-eyed Sam, dressed in flannel pants and a blue V-neck opened the door. “Oh, I’m sorry.” I grimaced. Of course, he’d be asleep, he drove all night.

“It’s alright.” His voice was rougher than usual. “What’d you need?”

“I’m not quite sure where to put these,” I held up the heavy pile of the clothes slightly. “If I could find a washing machine, that’d be great.”

“Sure,” He yawned and lifted the clothes from my arms despite my protests and lead me down the hall again. “should’ve shown you it earlier.” Instead of right we went left, there was a little alcove at the end with an ancient looking washing machine, next to it was a hanging rack. There was a shelf above it with some generic looking soap and bleach. Sam opened the small door next to it. It was filled with pristine linens and blankets. “Cleaning supplies are down the hall, first door on the right.” He dumped the clothes in the hamper.

“Thanks, Sam.”

He smiled and padded back down the hallway. I watched him turn the corner and then grabbed a few sets of sheets and pillowcases and topped it off with a faded purple quilt. I walked the short distance to the door he had told me about. Inside there was a mop and several unlabeled jugs of cleaning supplies. To the corner, there was a box full of rags. I guess water and elbow grease will have to do. I grabbed a handful and went back to my room. It was so quiet down here.

Above ground, you had the sounds of the city, nature, hell even crazy homeless people. Down here you had the ringing in your ears and the absence of sound. I was consciously aware of the number of times I had exhaled and inhaled.

I shrugged off my jacket, hanging it in the closet, and I stripped the bed and pillows replacing them with fresh sheets. It already looked ten times better in here. I transferred my things to the bed and removed all the pictures from the walls tucking them into the desk drawers. Goodbye, Henry and Josie. I closed the book and sneezed when a plume of dust erupted from it. There was no title on the front and it looked to be in another language anyways so I wasn’t bothered by it. I placed it in the drawer as well. With the items out of the way, I got to work removing the dust from the wood. I sighed, dry rags didn’t do anything but push the dust around.

I emerged from my room again, rags in hand and followed the sound of running water. I peeked around the corner, the room was about half the size of the library. There were a few metal enclosed stalls on one side, _toilets,_ and a line of showers on the other. In the center, there were a few sinks. The shower closest to the door was shut and the room had started to fill with steam. I looked back and forth between the curtain and the sinks. I could be fast enough, I didn’t see any clothes in the room, so either the person in the shower goes commando or there’s a towel I didn’t see.

The brothers were attractive, don’t get me wrong, but seeing them half-naked would only make me squirrely and awkward and we didn’t need that. I could always wait, but honestly, all I wanted was to get into something comfortable and eat an entire horse, and I couldn’t do that with dust central in my room. It’d bug me to death. I took a deep breath and metaphorically put on my big girl panties. I walked as quickly and as quietly into the room as I could. I avoided the puddle that was creeping towards the drain in the middle of the room and grinned when I reached the sinks. Oh god did I look like a nightmare. A shower was definitely in order. Dried bits of blood covered my torso and neck, my face was smudged with dust and my hair was a wreck. Half of it had escaped from its ponytail during the past day and it was a frizzy mess. I pulled the elastic from the knotted mess and smoothed it as best as I could. I turned on the water and a small shriek erupted from the shower. “Sammy!” Dean shouted. Fuck, I wet the rag as quick as I could and shut it off. I froze for a second thinking, that he’d emerge from the curtain.

Nothing happened.

My body lost its tension and I slowly backed out of the room. As soon as the door quietly shut the water switched off. My eyes widened and I nearly ran back to my room. I scrambled for the door handle and pushed open the door and as soon as I was in I could hear his grumblings down the hall. I breathed out and pressed myself against the door, wet rag in hand.

Mission successful.

I finished cleaning and was pleasantly surprised at how homey everything was despite the absence of anything familiar.

I went to the wardrobe and pulled out a long dark blue button down shirt and a pair of new, well new to me anyway, black boxers. I think I’d take that shower now. Sam was asleep, Dean had finished his and was doing whatever he did in his room. I kicked off my shoes and shivered at the cold floor. I didn’t have a towel but I couldn’t wait any longer. Back to the bathroom I went. I stepped into Dean’s recently vacated stall. There was a bottle of shampoo still on the floor. I slid the curtain shut and undressed draping each item of clothing over the curtain rod. I felt exposed, I hadn’t shared a bathroom with any other people since my attempt at college, and even then I always showered at 3 am so I didn’t run into anyone in the dorm.

The knobs squeaked as I turned them on.

Almost immediately warm water hit my nude form and I groaned at the sensation. There’s nothing better than showering after a hard day. The flecks of dried blood rubbed off quickly staining the water at my feet pink. I tipped my head back letting the water run over my skull wetting my hair. I ran my fingers through my hair tugging some of the knots out. I used a small amount of Dean’s shampoo, I needed to get my own things soon. Though I had no problems smelling like Old Spice, it’d be a comfort to have my own scent.

I stayed under the water until it ran cold and my fingers were prunes. But I felt clean, all I’d need was a toothbrush and I’d feel like my old self. I wrung my hair of excess moisture and dressed, the clothes stuck to my wet skin uncomfortably. It felt even weirder to not wear underwear under the boxers. They hit me mid thigh, but they were a little loose on my form. I pulled the dirty clothes from the curtain rod and made my way down the hall. I cracked open my door and set the clothes on the inside next to the door.

I made my way to the kitchen. Like with everything in this place, it looked like it was from another era. On the counter sat my long forgotten chicken club. Still in it’s Styrofoam box. I smiled, Dean had brought it in. I half expected that he’d have thrown it out. He didn’t seem to like me in the least.

“You’re still up.” I jumped, speak of the devil.

“Sleeping for a day tends to make one restless.” I turned and gave him a hesitant smile. “Thanks for this.” I held up the box. He opened the fridge and pulled out a beer and cracked it open, he offered me one and I hesitantly took it with a smile. I never liked beer or any alcohol for that matter. I never liked losing control. I sipped the bitter liquid and winced. He laughed.

He sat at the table and took a swig. “Beer not your thing?”

“Not really,” I sat across from him. I shivered when my bare thighs hit the cold seat. “drinking hasn’t been my thing.”

He hummed and we lapsed into silence. He wasn’t looking at me, just off into the distance. I opened the takeout box and took a bite of the soggy sandwich. Beer with food, as it turns out isn’t the worst thing in the world. I was halfway through the other triangle of soggy bread when he spoke again. “Anyone gonna be looking for you?” I snorted and swallowed.

“No, no, what Castiel said is pretty much the best snapshot of my life that you could get.”

Dean sighed. “Yeah, we’ve all got pretty crap Dad’s.”

I finished my sandwich and closed the box. I was still hungry, but I figured it’d be rude to ask. “How’d you guys come into this place?”

Dean hesitated and looked me over. I put the half empty bottle on the table. “It’s a Men of Letter’s bunker, we’re legacies. No one’s been in here since the 40s. Their job was to study the paranormal.”

“So someone just gave you an entire bunker?” I asked in disbelief. Dean grinned.

“Sweetie,” He drawled. “no one knows this place exists besides Sam, Cas, and now you. No one’ll kick us out.”

Great we were squatting.

“Safest place in America. No creepy crawlies jump out at you here.” There was still a smile on his face. He reached into his robe’s pocket. “Before I forget,” He slid a small flip phone across the table. “just in case you need to reach us when we’re gone.” The chair slid across the concrete as he stood. “Hey, you want some pie?” He looked at me hopefully. I understood now, this was his way of saying sorry. I smiled and nodded. A grin brightened his face and he opened the fridge and pulled out an apple pie. I pulled down some plates and stood next to him as he cut a giant piece of pie for himself and a slightly smaller piece for me. He handed me a fork and we ate side by side.

My fork slid across the ceramic as I ate my last bite, he was on slice number two. “Thanks, Dean.” I smiled at the taller man. “I think I’ll get to bed now.”

He swallowed another forkful. “We’ll probably head out when you’re asleep.”

I wanted to say be careful, come back in one piece but all I said was: “Good luck, see you soon.” He gave me a grin and went back to his pie. I yawned as I walked back down the corridor. Despite having slept for a full day I was exhausted.

When my head hit the pillow I was out like a light.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, this where we begin to pick up steam a bit. 
> 
> I know thus far I've posted every day but I imagine that'll come to an end soon since I'm in college in midterm season and the week has just started. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The next time I woke my mouth felt like sandpaper. God, I needed a toothbrush. I got out of bed and stretched and felt the satisfying cracking of stiff joints. I ran my hands down my face clearing the sleep from my eyes. It felt like I had slept for forever. I flipped open the flip phone on my desk, it was 11 am. Great, nearly half the day gone. My eyes caught to my door. There was a piece of paper taped to it.

_Be back in a couple of days. Call if you need something. –Sam_

The writing was spidery and I smiled at the thoughtfulness. He didn’t need to leave a note; they had told me several times that they’d be gone.

I dressed in yesterday's jeans and kept on the button down. No one would see me anyway. Who cares if I’m bra-free? I suppose I could do a load of laundry, after all, they had to have some clothes that needed to be washed. I did too.  It was the least I could do. I entered the hallway, Sam’s door was ajar and Dean’s was shut. I peeked into his room, it was identical to mine and very tidy. The desk had a lot of books and papers on it, I didn’t see any clothes lying around so I shut the door. I went to Dean’s door and peeked in. Guns and weapons were affixed to the walls, his room was slightly different than ours. He had a record player and a shelf behind his bed. There were weapons everywhere. It was clean but I immediately knew I didn’t want to mess with anything in there.

I shut the door with a small click.

I went back to the hamper that Sam shoved the clothes in last night. I sorted through them again and ah ha! At the bottom of the hamper, there was an assortment of flannels, tees, and jeans. I put them in with my two items and with a moment of fiddling I started the washer. It gave a great whine and started to fill with water.

I hummed as I went through my morning routine, well went through it as best as I could without a hair brush, tooth brush, or face wash. I finger washed my teeth with some spare toothpaste I found in the bathroom and pulled my hair up and out of my face with the elastic I had.

Turns out being alone in a bunker is about as boring as you’d expect it to be. The books in the library were as dry as an English textbook, the only shot at music I had was in Dean’s room, which I wouldn’t venture into without permission, and the garage was interesting for about thirty minutes before I realize I couldn’t find any of the keys. There were rooms filled with a bunch of mysterious junk, but with demons and angels lurking around I wasn’t confident rummaging through it. There was also a basement, which just the word creeps me out. A bunch of rooms had loads of outdated computer equipment. No watching Netflix on them. In the end, I just settled on going to the kitchen and try to bake. I hadn’t done it in forever and their fridge was surprisingly stocked. I half expected just beer and takeout.

I made some chocolate chip cookies. That ate up about an hour, then I tried to make a cake, which ended up in the trash. I grabbed a couple cookies and a glass of milk. This was going to be a long…I couldn’t even give an estimate for how long I’d be here. Hades wouldn’t be allowed to the above world for centuries. Would I be here for centuries? How did I even age? Did I age?

I finished my cookies, rubbing the crumbs off on my pants. I hung our now clean clothes on the drying line and sighed. I had been avoiding it but it was time to find out what was in that box. Back in my room, I sat cross-legged on the bed, box in front of me. I took a deep breath and flipped it open. Clothes that I hung up still sat on top. I took them out of the box and set them aside. There was literally stacks and stacks of letters in there. Some were aged with yellow, others looked pristine. I pulled the top one out. On the front was my name written in flowy cursive. I opened the seal and started to read. It was her words, Persephone, her words on the day she gave me up. Her perspective on the entire ordeal, she didn’t get out of bed for weeks. Hades was distant, until he pushed her, pushed her to write these letters. The next letter had my name again, this time in neat but distinctive print.

_My Girl,_

_You will never know me. You will never know my touch, or the love I have for you. I felt you kick, turn, and for a brief moment, I heard you cry. I hope these letters get to you somehow. I hope you somehow understand our reasons; we’ve always wanted you. It was a cruel trick of fate to not keep you when we finally had you. We’ve had your room ready for centuries before you were here and it pains me to now that the only time you’ll have it is when you’ve passed on._

_I’ll write later._

_Love Always,_

_Hades_

            The letter was smudged at the end. I had to stop reading, a lump of emotion lodged itself in my throat. There were hundreds of letters in the box. Hundreds of explanations, stories, wishes. Hundreds of what ifs. It would only lead to my what ifs, what if I was able to grow up in their presence, loved and cherished, what if that was all I knew? I folded the letters back into their respective envelopes and closed the box. I would certainly read more later, but it would be too much for one day to read anymore.

            My fingers clasped around the necklace at my neck. I ran my fingertips over the smooth pendant. I longed to say her name, to talk to her even though she couldn’t respond. When I was little I’d make up imaginary friends and pretend they were my Mother and we’d have entire conversations. It was about little things, what I did at school that day, my friends, and the books I had been reading. I pulled my hand away from the jewelry and flopped back on the bed.

            I just wished I had someone to talk to, hell I’d take a Walkman at this point just to have some stimulus.

            _Bang!_

I sat up straight as a board.

I rushed to the desk and picked up the phone. I flipped it open and scrolled to the correct contact. It rang for a few seconds. “Cora?” Sam’s voice was laced with concern.

“You’re not back, by chance, are you?” I could hear the shakiness in my voice.

“No, we’re not.” His breath caught in his throat. “Is someone there with you?”

“I heard a bang, I haven’t…I mean…” He swore into the phone.

“Okay, okay, look it might be nothing.”

“But if it’s not?” My voice was quiet and I stared at the door, expecting it to burst open at any moment.

“You need to get to the basement. There’s a trap there that’ll keep damn near anything in it.” His breath rushed out. “But you need to check.” I swallowed heavily, of course he’d say that. “Stay on the phone with me.” I could hear him pull the phone away from his ear and mutter something to Dean.

My hand felt ice cold as I opened the door and my body felt like it was weighed down with concrete. I looked down each end of the corridor. Nothing. Despite the fact that I’d been up and down the hallway all day, it felt dark and ominous. The type of hallway that you expect something to jump out at you at any moment. I could hear Sam’s breathing from the phone and I’m sure he could hear my heavy gasps as well. I turned the corner and further down the hallway I could see that an entire table was upended. “There’s a table knocked over.” I whispered into the phone. I heard Sam repeat the comment to Dean and then some muffled swearing.

I stopped at the arch of the library. I looked both ways and didn’t see anything. My bare feet stepped into the library and I cautiously walked to the overturned table. “Fuck.” I breathed into the phone as it came into view.

“Cora? Cora what is it?” Sam said urgently.

“It’s Castiel,” I breathed. “he’s hurt, badly.” He was, blood soaked his mangled shirt. His face resembled a piece of raw meat. His eyes were closed and his wings were almost nonexistent. But the most remarkable thing was the blue shining through his injuries. It was like he was a jack-o-lantern. A puddle of blood was growing beneath him.

I ran around table, and knelt by his side, my pants immediately becoming soaked in the blood. I held the phone in the crease in my neck. “What do I do Sam? There’s so much blood.”

“Okay, okay, he’s an angel so he’ll heal fast. Just get him up.” My blood ran cold, he was fading, his light was fading.

“He’s fading Sam, his blue light its fading.” Shocked silence met my declaration. “What do I do?” I was becoming hysterical. My hands fluttered over his body, not sure what I was supposed to do.

“Try and stop the bleeding. We’ll be there in a couple of hours.” The phone beeped. The phone clattered to the floor as I grabbed his face between my palms.

“Castiel!” I tapped his face. “Castiel!” I did so again. His brilliant blue half lidded bleary eyes met mine. “You have to tell me what to do.” His mouth opened to tell me something but all I heard were gurgles. “No, no, no. C’mon.” His eyes fluttered shut. I couldn’t do this here. With strength I never thought I had I slung his arm around my shoulder and with a great tug, I got us both to our feet. I looped an arm around his waist and I dragged him down the hallway. I knew he was still alive by the wheezing breaths and the dim glow of his body. I felt like I was moving in slow motion. The blood on the bottom of my feet made everything slippy and I fought to keep my balance every step of the way. I turned the corner and I could see my door when suddenly I couldn’t hold him anymore. We tumbled to the ground and he didn’t make a sound despite the fact that he had hit is head pretty hard.

I panted.

He was barely glowing anymore and his wings were almost invisible. This can’t happen, I wouldn’t let this happen. With clumsy fingers, I undid his messy tie and then I grasped the shirt’s collar and ripped it down the center. Buttons flung everywhere making little pings as they went. His torso was just ribbons of flesh. I healed myself, I surely could heal him.

I pressed my hands to his bare bloody flesh and closed my eyes.

I was wired with panic and urgency, I needed this to work. He’s blunt and clueless, but from the time I had spent with him he had changed me. Though it was subtle, I had never had someone look at me, look right through me and seem to see who I really was. I didn’t know if that was an angel trait but someone that can make you feel validated with just one look, well, that’s pretty special.

I felt a sudden wash of peace cover me.

The air around me felt, calm and still. My heart felt like it was beating in tandem with his weak pulse. I opened my eyes. Underneath my hands, a warm orange glow was spreading throughout his injured form. As the tendrils went I could see them knitting flesh back together. The longer the light went the more tired I got. By the time it reached his face I was almost down for the count.  His wings were nearly back to their wispy black color and I was gone.

 

“Silly girl.” I snapped to attention. I was in the bunker but I wasn’t. Everything was in a sepia tone. By my side was my Mother.

“Persephone?” My voice echoed like I was at the bottom of a cavern.

“That was reckless,” She scolded. “giving your own life force to heal the nearly dead. An angel no less.”

“I’m dead?” I was surprisingly blasé about that. Of course, I’d die at my own hands, I wasn’t the important one, Castiel, Sam, Dean, they were the important ones.

“Hades pulled some strings.” She waved. “It won’t happen again, though.” She sighed. “He’s attractive,” She snapped, and the scene shifted. I was slumped over Castiel’s body, he looked completely healthy, despite the blood stains on his clothing. “I’ll give you that, but you can’t put your life at risk like that again.”

“But--”

She shot me a look and I shut up. “You can heal, in small doses. But you brought him back from near death. When you do that you trade one like for another, doing it to yourself when you’re injured there’s no problem, but others.” She shook her head.

“Well if you told me the rules, or god forbid, sent me a damn handbook I wouldn’t make these mistakes.” I threw my hands up in exasperation. Beneath my body Castiel was stirring.

“We haven’t got long.” Persephone grabbed my hand. “Please let's not argue.” I swallowed heavily, it was always goodbyes with her.

“I started the letters today.” She smiled at me a hint of melancholy in it. “Hades seems like a great person.” Tears welled in her eyes.

“He is.” She screwed her eyes shut and opened them again. “The box I gave you, I can send things if you want. I have a twin one on my vanity, just ask.” I nodded.

“I do want something.” I paused for a moment the words processing in my mind. “I’d really love a picture of you guys.” The smile she gave me was enough to power the city of Los Angeles for a year.

I watched as Castiel’s eyes opened and he blinked in confusion. His gaze shifted down to my face and he curled his arm around my back as he sat up. My head limply hung over his arm as he situated us so that I was face up instead in down. He said something I couldn’t hear. It was odd, it was like I was watching a movie of my own life.

“What’s going to happen?” I tore my eyes from the sight to Persephone.

“He’ll bring you back.”

“So I am dead?” I was confused.

She shook her head. “You’re nearly dead, most likely in a coma.”

“Is he going to be okay?” She grinned at my question.

“He’ll be a little…supercharged for a little bit.” I pulled my attention back to the spectacle in front of me. Castiel’s forehead rested on my own and his palm cupped my cheek. His eyes were closed and his brow furrowed. “This is it dear, try to be careful next time.” The pressure of her fingers slowly dissipated and the world slowly got brighter. It got so bright that I was forced to close my eyes. Then the feeling of free fall.

I gasped and my eyes popped open and I was staring into blue. I grabbed onto his arm supporting my head as it felt like I was having a panic attack. My body jolted and he held on tight. I was half on him and at each breath it felt like it was the first breath I had ever taken. It was like bliss but also like shards of glass embedding themselves on my insides. His shadowy wings enclosed around us, blotting out the brighter light. Every sensation was new, yet it was achingly familiar. “Castiel.” I gasped, my voice sounding paper thin.

“Coming back from the other side is painful, just breathe.” We stayed in that position until my lungs didn’t feel like they were squeezing out every molecule of oxygen I was taking in and my body stopped its violent shivers.

Gradually I loosened my fingers from his arm and his hands untangled themselves from their embrace. “Thank you.” I hoarsely responded. He helped me sit up and prop me against the wall. My bedroom was feet away but I couldn’t find it in me to make the journey.

“I should be telling you that.” His shoulder brushed mine as he leaned back and I gave him a weak smile. His wings slumped to the floor, one of them covering my lap. My hands relished the feel of the downy soft feathers. “What you did was risky.”

“I seem to have a penchant for that.” I tried to joke but he just frowned.

“It is the second time you’ve risked yourself for me. Why?” He looked at me earnestly.

“I just…I…why do you risk yourself for Sam and Dean?” I stuttered and threaded my fingers through his feathers.

Castiel took a moment. “They’re my friends.”

“Well, I’d like to be your friend Castiel.” His wing twitched beneath my fingers, I slowly pulled my hand away. “You’ve saved me, given me your jacket, and covered for me, that seems to be friend qualities for me.”

Castiel’s face took an expression I had never seen before, he smiled. He looked gorgeous when he smiled. His eyes crinkled up in the corners and his entire face lit up. “Friends.” He agreed.

Shit, I was in deep if his smile could make me feel like I didn’t have a care in the world.

“Cas!” I thumped my head against the wall. The brothers were back. There were several expletives as they followed the obvious blood trail; their pounding footsteps got closer and voices got louder. Dean rounded the corner first and taking in my slumped over form and Cas’s state of undressed he uttered: “What the hell happened?” He kneeled beside us and checked us both. Sam was shortly behind him. They were dressed in suits.

“Crowley,” Castiel said shortly. Both brothers cursed. “he wanted to know how to get to the bunker.” The brothers held a question in their eyes. Castiel shook his head. “He doesn’t know.” They both breathed a sigh of relief.

“He’ll be after you guys next,” I said quietly. “maybe I should—”

“No!” Everyone exclaimed before I got out the sentence. The brothers glared me down and Castiel frowned.

 Sam cleared his throat as the silence got uncomfortable. “There’s a lot of blood, Cas. How’d you heal so fast?”

Castiel floundered for a moment, opening and closing his mouth. “It was me.” I jumped in. “It was all me.” I swallowed heavily. “I…uh almost killed myself doing it.” An unexpected yawn escaped my mouth.

From Deans posture, I knew he wanted to say something, but instead he just muttered. “Let’s get you to bed.” I waved off the offered hands to help me up and instead struggled to my feet. The blood had dried, on the floor, on me, how long had we been out? On shaky legs and panting, I made it to my feet. I weakly smiled in triumph and Sam and Dean stepped back giving me room to walk forward. Castiel stood by my side. The first two steps were great but on the third, my knees buckled and I braced myself for the inevitable smack against the floor. It didn’t come. Instead, I was caught by my waist and swung up into strong arms.

“Thanks.” I mumbled my face heating.

“It’s what friends are for.” His gruff voice rang clear in my head.

I hadn’t been carried since I was a child. It was magical, that the only word I could use to describe it. The feeling of weightlessness, feeling the strength of the arms beneath you. The scent of the man behind it. It was intoxicating and I couldn’t get used to it. The only beings on this planet that could carry me were some deceptively strong angels, body builders, and I imagined any other supernatural creatures that weren’t so friendly.

Castiel nudged the door open and set me on my bed. My clothes and the box were still on it. God, that seemed forever ago. I hadn’t been able to appreciate the view before, but now that I was flat on my back and he was setting the box on the desk I could. He wasn’t overly built, he was firm, toned, but not excessively. There were no eight packs on this guy, no he looked like a regular old human. I would have been tricked that he was if I couldn’t see the glowing eyes and the wings on his back. He moved to leave. “Castiel?” I mumbled my voice already thick with sleep. He paused and turned. “I’m really glad I saved you.” He gave me a small grin and that was the last thing I saw before slept.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear with me, I'm deviating slightly from what I had originally written in my journal. It may get a little cheesy. 
> 
> :)

Waking up the next morning was hell. My head hurt, my joints felt stiff and my skin sticky. I hadn’t even made it under the covers, which in hindsight was a relief because I didn’t want to remake the bed. With slightly blurry vision I groaned my way to the standing position. My desk chair was ajar like someone had been sitting in it. On top of my desk was the forgotten phone, a towel as well as several large shirts that were slightly worn, underneath it all looked to be either Sam or Dean’s flannel pajama pants. I took my hair out of the elastic then I gathered the items necessary for a shower, i.e a change of clothes and a towel and emerged into the hallway.

It was spotless, no blood stains on any of the floor. I was mildly surprised. I didn’t take them as the mopping kind of people. I pushed my way into the silent bathroom and used the same stall again. This time I was met with a surprise. Someone had bought girly shampoo, conditioner, and soap. I smiled despite the pounding in my head. I undressed, the pants I could save, but the shirt was toast. I turned on the water and stepped under the hot spray. This felt like déjà vu, covered in blood, showering. I hoped that this wouldn’t be a common experience. I smelled a thousand times better than when I got up. The clothes were a breath of fresh air. I assumed that the shirts I got were Sam’s because they hit mid thigh. They were a little tight in the chest region but they were cotton and so comfortable. The flannel pants were a godsend, but I really needed panties. I could always ask Persephone to send some, she said I just needed to ask.

            I sighed, it would be so trivial. I gathered the stained clothes and stiffly walked back to my room. I just wanted to lay down, it felt like I had gone three rounds in the ring with Mike Tyson.

            “You’re up!” I winced at the loudness of the voice. I turned slightly. Dean was coming out of his room.

            “Seems like.” I muttered shifting the clothes in my hands to cover my chest. No bra in a cold bunker meant nipple central.

            “How’re you feeling?” Concern laced his voice as his brow furrowed.

            “Like I’ve been dragged through town square tied to a horse.” He cracked a small smile.

            “You hungry?” I nodded. “Lay down I’ll bring you something, Cas said you’d wake soon, he hardly left your room.” I furrowed my brow. He noticed my confusion “It's been a little over a week.” My eyes widened. “He’s off gathering your stuff from your Dads.”

            My mouth moved like a goldfish before I finally exclaimed, “Why?”

            “He’d just stare, sitting in that chair.” Dean shook his head. “He was driving Sammy and me up a wall so we gave him a task to make sure you’re _comfortable_ when you woke up.”

            “So the shampoo, the clothes?” I trailed off.

            “They’re all him.” A feeling of warmth bloomed in my heart. “I think you spooked him. He’s used to saving our asses, not having his ass saved.” I nodded dumbly. “Go lay down, I’ll get some food.” He cupped my shoulder as he walked past.

            Despite every muscle aching, I managed a smile as I crossed the threshold into my room. I dumped the dirty clothes by the door and took in the room properly this time. He had been busy; my closet was open so I could see he had hung up the few items of clothing I had. There were a few books on my nightstand, they had come from my room back home. I’d know those worn covers anywhere. I opened the desk drawer, he had a hair brush and a few random bits of makeup in it. My box was under the desk, he had moved it, on top of it was a shiny metal object. No way! He had brought my computer.

All the objects he had brought were seemingly random, they didn’t hold a single train of thought, it seemed that he had just grabbed what he thought was right at the time and brought them back. I left everything where it was and got under the covers. I practically melted into the mattress.

Wings fluttered and I was suddenly staring at a man bogged down with all sorts of bags and blankets and other items. He started untangling himself, so focused on his task he didn’t notice me peering at him from the bed.

“Castiel?” His eyes shot to mine, his body seemed to release it’s tension. He shrugged off the remaining bags and his weight dipped the mattress as he sat next to me. He looked good, no ripped shirt or blood in sight. “Dean said you’ve been gathering my stuff from my Father’s house.” He nodded. “That’s very thoughtful, thank you.” I struggled to a sitting position and pulled him into a short hug. He took a moment before he pressed his hands to my back, returning the hug.

“Dean said they would help you find comfort when you woke.” I broke the hug, his hands still rested on my waist.

“They do Cas,” I smiled. “but it’s even more of a comfort when someone cares enough to do it.” There was a knock on the door. He pulled his hands away quite suddenly and sat down on the chair before I said. “Come in.”

Dean opened the door, he held a plate with a grilled cheese sandwich and a small bowl of tomato soup. He grinned when he saw that Cas was there, then he shook his head when he saw the mess that he had made on the floor. Dean navigated his way through the items scattered throughout and he precariously set the soup and sandwich combo on the bed. "You couldn't have grabbed anymore of her stuff, huh Cas."

The angel in question furrowed his brow. "Was I supposed to grab furniture?" He looked about ready to go back.

"No Cas, it was...forget about it." Dean sighed and leaned against the desk. Two sets of eyes focused on me.

"What?" I asked and dipped the sandwich in the soup taking a bite. Despite the simplicity of the meal Dean was a good cook. 

"I told them." The sandwich felt like lead going down.

"What?" I repeated this time my voice had lost its lightheartedness. I wasn't just angry, I felt betrayed. "You told them." I repeated dully. I pushed the food away. "So gathering all my things, it wasn't for my comfort. It was for your guilt." I screwed my eyes shut to regain some of my composure. "Please leave Castiel." I said quietly, as soon as the words left me mouth I regretted them. When I opened my eyes again he was gone.

Dean gave me a moment to process. "We needed to know." He took Castiel's recently vacated seat. “If it wasn’t for Cas’s say so we would’ve thought you were dead. It was touch and go for a couple of days. We were about to summon every angel in heaven until we got to your granddad.”

“So he told you.” Dean nodded.

“The only thing is he didn’t know which Goddess it was so we couldn’t summon her to get you help.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “If you were down any longer we would’ve started summoning them all.” He looked at me pointedly. Right, time for me to come clean. That was my cue.

“Persephone.” I mumbled and his jaw dropped.

“Hades’s wife? King of the Underworld, ruler of Hell, Zeus’s brother, he’s a dick by the way, she's your mom?” He rambled and started to tap his foot agitatedly against the concrete.

I simply nodded and started to eat the now lukewarm meal. I paused his word suddenly registering. “You’ve met Zeus?”

His expression soured. “He shot me with a lightning bolt.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “So Crowley wants you because?”

“Leverage,” I mumbled around my full mouth. “from my understanding Hades rules a sublevel of hell and it’s filled with souls, Crowley wants them.”

“Right,” He pointed. “but for what does he want the souls for.” Dean hummed and stood. “I’ll let Sam know you’re up.” He paused at the doorway. “Cora?” I hummed and looked up. “Don’t be so hard on Cas, he was just,” Dean struggled for a moment to find the word. “worried, I think.” He left the room his footsteps thumping against the floor.

A little pit of guilt lodged itself in my chest.

I shouldn’t have acted so rash. I could’ve asked him to step out of the room, or asked Dean to leave so we could talk about it. Instead, I did the cowards thing and made him run away so I didn’t have to deal with it.

I finished my food with a sullen silence.

I slid the plate onto the nightstand and lay back.

I wasn’t tired, just achy. It was that feeling you got when you had a bad cold, just amplified by ten. A soft knock sounded on my door; before I could call out Sam peeked his head in. A smile lit up his face when he saw that I was awake. His eyes glittered in amusement when he saw the sheer number of bags on the floor. “Cas really went all out.” With his long legs, he stepped over the pile and sat by my side. He reached out and rested the back of his hand on my forehead and frowned. “You’re a little warm, Cas could probably fix that.” He offered raising his eyebrows. He looked so earnest, why couldn’t I have attached myself to Sam. He was a nice guy, kind, loyal, awesome hair, and super tall. Everything that my ten-year-old self would squee about.

“No, I’ve already bugged him enough.” Lies all lies, I just didn’t want to face him again right this moment. “Besides, it’s probably just a cold.”

 

Oh how wrong I was. I seemed to have doomed myself with those words. Three weeks later the achy feeling hadn’t disappeared. Sam and Dean never said it but their eyes told a different story, the boys were worried. We had been in close quarters for most of that time and they hadn’t caught what I had so it was very much a me thing.

I knew that they had talked to Castiel, asking for advice on how to banish it but his remedies, (I mean come on, who says to drink a tea made of angels feathers and witch hazel, certainly not the brothers) never worked. I felt like the living dead and I looked it too. I was always pale but not this pale, I never had this greyish tinge to my pallor. My hair had dulled, looking more like rust rather than the brilliant copper it usually was. Something was wrong and I didn’t know how to fix it. My healing abilities never kicked in, so I knew I wasn’t dying, but I certainly wasn’t living.

Asking Persephone never yielded any result either. She couldn’t risk giving me her remedies since the ingredients all came from the Underworld and a piece of me may be trapped there if I consumed anything. But I did get that picture. Hades and her, they were opposites in every way. She was light, he dark. His hair curled over his ears, a deadly looking crown perched atop his head. His skin was the color of coffee with far too much cream, he towed over Persephone, and Persephone had a few inches on me. In the photo, he was dressed in a dark navy dress shirt with black slacks. Persephone, a dress that hit her knees in a shade of light lavender. Their arms circled each other's waists an easy smile on their faces. It was clear that they loved each other. Their posture was one of comfort and familiarity.

I tried to go about my routine as normally as possible. It didn’t help that I could barely lift a book, much less focus on reading since my vision was so blurry. Or that I couldn’t keep from shivering and I was constantly wrapped in a blanket where ever I went. But I tried, even if it took me all day to finish a page. 

It was on a Tuesday when I took a turn for the worse.

I was heading to the library, freshly showered and clean and I tripped over those damn two steps. My blanket caught over my foot and I went down like a sack of bricks. My head cracked against the floor and I winced at the sound. My hand reached up to check if there was any blood, thankfully not, just a huge goose egg. Sam rushed to my side and helped me up, I held onto him like a child would hang onto a father. I couldn’t quite feel anything. Not the chilly floor that I knew was under my feet, or the pressure from Sam’s grip. Hell, I couldn’t even feel the bump on my head that under normal circumstances I’d be crying about. I didn’t feel sick anymore, I felt...nothing.

I was like a shell with no filling.

“Sam,” My voice even sounded empty. “something’s wrong, I need Castiel.” He blinked rapidly and nodded. I felt like a newborn calf trying to make it to the library tables. My blanket was left forgotten in a heap. Sam never strayed too far, always in reach in case I tumbled again. I caught myself on the table and pulled myself onto the surface. I sat but it was like I was doing so on nothing.

Sam pulled out his phone and put it to his ear. He was talking to Castiel I was sure but I couldn’t quite focus. I was drifting with my eyes wide open. Sam looked at me hesitation painting his features as he talked. I had never been this still in my life. Even on my worst day I was always fidgeting, grabbing at my hair, twisting my fingers, biting my lip, but nothing now.

“He’s coming.” Sam said snapping his phone shut. He slowly shuffled forward and stopped in front of me. He took my temperature and his eyes widened. “You’re freezing.” I wanted to say duh, no shit, something’s wrong but all I did was blink. “Cora?” He lightly shook me. I was starting to get scared, I wasn’t in control anymore. I wasn’t home. In my head I screamed, I screamed until I was mentally exhausted. I could see Sam pull out his phone again, talk for a few moments and then snap it shut. He then lightly slapped me, my face jerked to the side, but slowly it turned back to center. I didn’t do that. Sam suddenly looked behind me, he was saying something but it was like I was underwater, I could see everything, but I couldn’t hear anymore, my sensations they were gone. From my peripherals I could see Castiel was moving around the table, he came to stop directly behind Sam.

In my head I screamed, I screamed until I was mentally exhausted. I could see Sam pull out his phone again, talk for a few moments and then snap it shut. He then lightly slapped me, my face slightly jerked to the side, but slowly it turned back to center. I didn’t do that. Sam suddenly looked behind me, he was saying something but it was like I was underwater, I could see everything, but I couldn’t hear anymore, my sensations they were gone. From my peripherals I could see Castiel was moving around the table, he came to stop directly behind Sam.

Sam started to gesture his hands clearly moving in a panicked motioned. He ran his hand through his hair as he started to pace a few feet away. Castiel came closer, replacing Sam’s spot at my side. His brow was creased, a deep frown marring his features as he tilted his head to the side. His lips moved, then again, then slower. He was saying my name. His head turned as he said something to Sam. Castiel stepped closer, between my thighs, and his hands came to rest on either side of my face. I could see the glowing light on the edges of my vision. He had closed his eyes. _Castiel_ , _Castiel, Castiel,_ I murmured over and over in my head, calling to him.

_Cora_. It was faint, but it was there, I could hear him. His lips weren’t moving.

_Castiel?_ _What’s happening?_ Even in my mind, I was panicked.

_I don’t know._ His face wore a look of concentration. _I have healed you, but you are-_ His internal voice in my head paused. _stuck. It might be a spell._ His light on my peripherals was fading, he was leaving me.

_Please don’t leave me all alone!_ I mentally shouted it was so dark, so empty.

_I will be back, I promise._ As he pulled his hands away from my head his presence faded and then I was all alone. Eyes of blue opened and he pulled away. His posture seemed to fold inward as he realized I was in the same state. His eyes darted every which way on my face, taking in my wide blown eyes and my shallow breathes. He stepped back and started to talk to Sam.

As it turns out, I picked the best table. I could see the landing where the entrance to the bunker was and the archway to the living quarters. Dean hurried down the stairs a few moments after Cas’s attempt. In his arms he carried groceries which he promptly dumped to the floor as he rushed over. He tilted my head from side to side all the while talking a mile a minute. I couldn’t pick up any words. Castiel said something over Dean’s shoulder, he hadn’t gone far, he had stayed within my view save for the few moments he went to grab a book to start researching. Dean muttered something very slowly, _sorry._ He raised his hand and clocked me straight across the face. Mentally, I winced, that would hurt later. But whatever had control of my body turned the head right back to center. Castiel’s features grew dark behind Dean and he said something very deliberately.

I didn’t have access to a clock in this direction but I had to assume hours had passed. Sam and Dean were nowhere to be seen, probably asleep, or chasing a lead. The only stimulus I had was Cas’s form hunched over a book a pile growing at his feet. He had pulled out a chair and sat a few feet in front of me. I longed to talk to him even if it was just about his favorite color. He sighed and dropped another book to his feet. He looked at me curiously and stood again. He crossed the distance and he was cupping my face again. I could see the light but I couldn’t hear him, the light by my head got brighter. I called his name and his jaw clenched with effort. He suddenly pulled his hands away and slowly shook his head. He couldn’t reach me; I was all alone.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how fast this is going, we're nearly halfway through!

Weeks passed. Endless days in my own head. Days staring at the wall in front of me. Cas stayed for the first couple. He’d try to get into my head every so often but he never could. One brother always stayed with me, it was Sam’s shift this time. They figured I could read so every so often someone would write a short message keeping me in the loop. Dean was chasing down a lead in Montana, someone who knew about curses. Castiel was consulting Heaven to see if there was anything to break it.

They tried to get in touch with Persephone. They found the pendant around my neck and tried to get it to work, they brought the box out to see if that held anyway to getting in touch with her. But they couldn’t open it if they could they’d be able to get a message across. Summer was coming soon; she’d come to the surface then. Would I have to wait that long, months stuck in my own head. I wouldn’t be sane if that was the case.

They had tried to put me in a different position, after all, I was sitting straight as a board on a hard table but whatever had the hold on me would always return me to the same position. Sam held up a sheet of paper _We’re close._ He had been showing me that paper for awhile now. His close seemed to be far different than my close.

I had tried to shut off, try to just drift but I was always aware of the outside world. It was like open blinds in the morning, you couldn’t ignore it. Sam jumped in the corner of my eye. That only meant one thing, Castiel was back. He had since stopped giving warning of when he would arrive. _Anything?_ Sam said. I was slowly getting better at the lip reading thing. Castiel came to stand where I could see him, he always did it. It was something I appreciated, Sam tried to be conscientious but he forgot sometimes and Dean had started to treat me like a piece of furniture. He found it absolutely hilarious that he could balance several things on me without them falling off. He of course, did this when no one was around. He had spilled some coffee on me earlier in the week and he had a hard enough time explaining that.

 Castiel nodded, Sam practically jumped up in excitement. Castiel mutter something far too fast for me to pick up and Sam’s eyes nearly popped out of his head before he clearly muttered _of course._ He smoothed his hair back with his hands, the tips of his ears were red. If I could be furrowing my brow right now I would be. Sam slowly walked up to me. He hesitantly cupped the back of my neck before he ducked. Oh no, oh no, oh no! He wasn’t! Nope, he was. His lips pressed against mine, well I assume he did since I couldn’t feel anything, I could just see his closed eyes and his stubbled cheeks. He pulled back and his eyes searched my face, when he realized nothing changed his slight smile dropped and he looked at me with sad eyes.

This was a sleeping beauty situation. I could kill whoever did this to me. I wasn’t a princess…well technically I was if my Mother was Queen of the Underworld, but that’s besides the point, who the hell does this to someone. Who the hell does this to someone and they leave out the sleeping part? Honestly, I could’ve used the sleep.

Sam was talking to who I assumed was Dean on the phone now. Sam pulled out the notepad as he talked. _We figured it out,_ he wrote, _sleeping beauty_. He drew a little smiley face at the end. If I could roll my eyes I would be doing so. How many men would I have to kiss to get this fixed? Oh god, did they know I liked men, only men? I had a feeling I’d be kissing chicks too. Sam didn’t do much else the rest of the day besides being on his computer, he was probably looking up the original fairytale. Castiel sat in a chair in my line of sight, he looked pretty casual despite it all. One of his arms was thrown over the edge of the chair and he was idly flipping through a book. Every so often he would look up, meet my eyes and look back down.

Dean showed up many hours later, Sam was passed out over his computer and Cas had closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. I knew he wasn’t asleep, angels didn’t sleep. They powered down when injured but didn’t sleep. I had learned that with some casual research I had done when I was having a better day. Dean didn’t bother with his brother, he assuredly walked to me. From behind him, Castiel regarded the scene with mild interest. Dean’s approach with kissing was different than his brother. He ducked slightly, I couldn’t see his hands but I assumed that they went to my waist. I still couldn’t feel anything, especially when I was met with a face full of Dean Winchester. I knew it wasn’t him, he was more like an annoying older brother than anything else. Sam a best friend. Castiel, well, the prince in the fairytale was human and he was very much not a human. Well, I hope we were going for the Disney version of the fairytale, ‘cause if not it was going to get X-rated in here quickly.

Dean broke away quickly, looked at my still frozen form and shrugged. He woke Sam and they both went through the archway to their rooms. The lights dimmed almost immediately. This was the worst time of any day for me. Usually, I was alone left staring at a wall for a solid eight hours or less.  After a few moments, Cas stood. He pressed both his hands to my head and tried to reach me again. I didn’t hear anything but silence. When he realized he wasn’t getting anywhere his hands dropped back to his sides. His eyes traveled down my face, focusing on my lips. He leaned forward the tiniest bit before he shook off whatever thought he had had and took his seat in the chair again. If it wasn’t for his slightly glowy eyes I wouldn’t have had anything to focus on.

That’s what I focused on. Hours upon hours of just staring at him, his face shadowed in the dull light. I never got to talk to him, never got to say I wasn’t angry at him. What he did was out of concern, not malice, not some underhanded move, just concern. Hours before, well for me it seemed like hours, more like a week for him, we agreed we were friends and in an instant, I asked him to leave. I disregarded our newfound friendship just like that.

I wasn’t a very good friend, I realized. I wasn’t a very good anything really. I had a chip on my shoulder a mile long. I blamed others for my issues, blamed my father for dropping out of college, that was just an excuse. He never asked me back, he was too blitzed out of his mind to. I had forced myself into it because I couldn’t cut it in academia. Sam and Dean walked on eggshells around me for ages, thinking that one day I would explode, croak, or infect them. If I had been an adult I would’ve called Castiel earlier, gone to a Doctor, hell even researched the symptoms before I was regaled to the equivalent of stone.

Everything that had happened that was on me.

I wasn’t stupid or self-destructive, my Dad’s drug use wasn’t on me. He was a sick man. A horrible human being so warped and twisted by chemicals I didn’t even recognize the man who used to read me bedtime stories. Others decisions didn’t rest solely on my shoulders, but me, my decisions, they were my fault and my fault alone.

The night passed achingly slow. I missed sleep and for a moment I wondered if I’d die anyways from dehydration or exhaustion when I was cured. The lights brightened and Dean walked out yawning and retying his robe. He shivered when he saw me. I was creepy, a life-sized doll dressed in sleep clothes, my sleep clothes, shorts and a tank top. I didn’t blame him for being skeeved out. Cas and Dean started to converse and Dean looked affronted, then he reluctantly nodded. Dean picked up the notebook they had been using to communicate with me and started writing something. He flipped it over. _Pucker up princess, Cas is gonna find your prince(ss) charming._ He smirked and the notebook thumped to the table. My eyes sought Castiel’s, he was gone.

Then came the constant stream of people. Men and women, young and old. Castiel would pop them in one or two at a time. They’d reluctantly press their lips to my stiff ones and when it eventually didn’t work he put two fingers to their temples and they passed out. He would leave again, presumably to return them to where he had picked them up from. The process would repeat far into the night. Sam and Dean watched with amusement the first few rounds, then they grew bored and made themselves scarce. The people he picked up were all random, none my type. It seemed he just plucked people from their everyday routines. They would all come shocked, or angry or scared, and then this intimidating man would force them to kiss the girl who had more resemblance to a corpse that anything else.

I had been kissed more in one day than I had in my entire life.

I was angry at first, so fucking pissed. It was a violation of my every personal bubble, but by the twentieth one, I just wanted to be cured.

Night fell and Castiel looked about as dejected as I felt. His wings drooped to the floor and dragged behind him as he paced, his hand on his forehead as he rubbed his temples. What felt like the entire state of Kansas had kissed me except for the person in front of me. It was irrational but I just wanted someone familiar to end out the day. Hell, I’d take Sam or Dean again. Just something, someone, that made me feel less like a two cent kissing booth.

Cas paused his pacing and straightened his spine. His eyes met mine with determination. He strode towards me quick steps across the marble. His head ducked and his eyes focused solely on my lips. It was the quickest kiss of my life, gentle pressure and then gone.

Wait.

Wait. Hold the phone.

Gentle pressure! I felt it! I finally felt something!

He pulled back running his eyes over my face and sighed. I heard that, I heard the breath leave his mouth. I still couldn’t move anything but I was feeling things that I had taken for granted. _C’mon Castiel_ , I pleaded. _Please just do it again_. His eyes popped open in surprise. His hands immediately cupped my head, warmth, and light spread through my nervous system.

 _Cora?_ His voice was firm and surprisingly loud.

 _Castiel!_ I could hear how happy I was; I wasn’t alone anymore. _You can hear me!_  

A small smile graced his lips. _Who was it?_ His voice was curious.

The daft man, for someone who had eons to learn and experience he was quite obtuse. _I think it’s someone with a penchant for trench coats._ I quipped and his hands nearly slipped from my head.

 _That’s…that’s impossible._ He was truly befuddled. _I am an angel we do not have--_ His voice cut off for a second I had thought he had let go but then he sighed. _I will need to consult my brothers and sisters after this._ My head was jarringly empty as soon as he let go and brought one of his hands to the back of my neck and the other to my waist. Again he didn’t hesitate, his lips were firm and soft. He tightened his hold on me as soon as my body relaxed from its stiff posture and I started to respond. It was the worst case of the tingles, like when your foot falls asleep, only it spread throughout my entire body. My hands went first, then up to my shoulders, face and down through my torso to my feet. My eyes fluttered shut and my hands slid their way up his chest then to his neck and finally to thread their way into his hair. Castiel nudged me closer pressing our bodies together, no space was left between us. A muffled moan escaped my lips and he froze. He pulled away leaving us in a pseudo hug as he looked down at me.

His lips were swollen and his hair was a wreck from my tugging. His wings had created a cocoon around us leaving us in shadowy muted light. There was no expression on his face that I could accurately distinguish, sure shock was there but it was mixed with something I didn’t recognize. “Cora.” His voice was gruff, just as I remembered it. In my head, it somehow sounded lighter.

“Castiel.” I sounded like a chain smoker, nothing sexy about that. He stepped back, his hands left my body and his wings unfurled and rested in the closed position flat against his back. I awkwardly pulled my hands from his hair.

“It may take--” I shifted my weight and the pads of my feet rested on the cold floor. Slowly and cautiously I started to stand, wincing at the popping and cracking of my joints as my body slowly got used to a different position. I wasn’t even listening to Castiel, I wanted to go from zero to sixty in a millisecond. I wanted to run even though I look like an idiot on a normal day when I did so. I put one foot in front of the other and stumbled. He caught me around the waist steadying me. I couldn’t help but grin, I was in a different position! “Cora, you need to listen to me, your body is going to try and catch up.” I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him close squeezing tight.

“Thank you!” My face pressed against his coat and after a moment of stiffness, he awkwardly patted my back. I pulled back and if you had told me that a room of puppies had died, well I doubt even that tragedy could wipe a smile off my face. I separated myself from him and started to walk. I looked more like a newborn deer than anything else. I kept having to catch myself against furniture, the wall, even Cas as he stood close. His eyes watched me carefully with concern furrowing his brow.

My first stop was the kitchen. Much to my chagrin, I had to sit, my muscles were weak and despite the fact I never wanted to sit again I wanted a concussion even less. Castiel started to ply me with water. Bottle after bottle he passed to me, I couldn’t get enough. I’d finish one and the next would be in my hand and I would be downing it before I could even register what I was doing. When we ran out of water bottles he started to fill the empty bottles back up with tap water. Again and again, he handed me them, one would fill, he passed it off, he would fill another one and have it at the ready and then I’d pass it off. It was like a fireman’s line of water bottles.

With my thirst eventually quenched, food was next. I’m ashamed to say I cleared out the fridge. Castiel, while good at a lot of things, was not a good cook. He tried, which while appreciated I don’t think I’ll ever get the smell of melting plastic out of my nostrils. I cleared out the takeout, the minimal produce, boxes of cereal, and when everything was gone I was still starving. Cas had to leave to bring back more food, again and again, I’d polish off anything. If I was a competitive eater right now I’d be winning everything. I was in the middle of a large plate of chow mien when the kitchen door burst open with a gun pointed at us both. Dean was ruffled with sleep and a little wild-eyed. “Cora?” The gun dropped to his side, and I forked another mouthful in. I nodded with puffed out cheeks. Dean suddenly rushed out of the room. I listened as it footsteps went farther away. I looked at Cas and shrugged. He watched the scene with mild amusement.

I just suddenly realized how disgusting I probably looked. Grease and food crumbs everywhere, my eating resembling a fucking vacuum, really great image you’re selling here. You kiss the guy you’ve practically been obsessing about and you eat out the entire kitchen and force him to get more food. I pushed the still full plate away despite the gnawing hunger. My body would have to wait, wait until he left at least. I cleared my throat uncomfortably.

“Your hunger is satiated?” He asked curiously tilting his head to one side.

“Yeah Cas, I can’t seem to thank you enough.” I shifted in my seat awkwardly. “If you have things to do you can go, I’m sure Sam and Dean can take it from here.” I gave him a strained smile and he frowned. Something was processing in his head, I could see by the way his eyes flitted over my face and then the far away look before he suddenly snapped to attention. The kitchen door burst open again and I was enveloped in a tight hug. By the long hair it could only mean Sam. He pulled back a smile beaming from his lips.

“You broke the curse!” Sam’s eyes shifted from me to Cas. “Who was it?” My breath caught in my throat.

There was a moment of silence before Dean cut in. “Who cares Sammy, Sleeping Beauty is up.” Dean cupped my shoulder on the way to the fridge. He pulled the door open and then shut it, looked incredulously at me before opening the door again. “You ate my pie.” He said it like it was a grievous sin. My stomach chose that moment to let out an ear-splitting growl. Well, ear-splitting to me at least. I ducked my head, embarrassed at the sound, but also embarrassed that I had just been caught in a lie. A white lie sure, but a lie all the same. “You’re still hungry?” Dean exclaimed throwing up his hands. “You already ate everything!” He said pulling open the cabinets and finding nearly everything but condiments and alcohol were gone. 

Sam looked at me with pity. “Spells can be a bitch.”

Dean sighed exasperatedly. “You’re telling me.” He slammed shut the last cabinet. “I am not doing the grocery shopping again, tell your Prince Charming to do it.” If it was said in anything other than a jokey tone, I would’ve taken offense. But it still didn’t stop my cheeks turning from a light pink to a fire engine red. Dean pulled me into a short hug and grinned as he left the kitchen.

“I’ll make a food run.” Sam smiled and lightly squeezed my hand. “Glad you’re back.” The boys left the kitchen as quickly as they came. All that was left was slightly ajar cabinets and the heavy feeling of awkward silence.

“You lied.” He said matter-of-factly. I simply nodded and stared longingly at the plate of food. So god damn hungry. He was across from me leaning against the cabinets with his arms crossed. “Why?”

            “It’s a human thing.” I mumbled and averted my eyes from his gaze.

            “Human thing?” He hummed. “I have had experiences with all sorts of humans, but I’ve not seen a human shun food when they are starving.” I swallowed heavily, my throat suddenly dry despite the fact that I just drank literally gallons of water. “Is this a new human thing I must watch for?”

            “No, Cas.” I pressed my eyes closed hoping to alleviate some of the blush staining my cheeks. “It’s just a me thing. You don’t need to worry yourself about it.” I opened my eyes, slightly successful at abating some of the heat. Castiel looked even more confused. I sighed, he wasn’t going to let it go. “Look, I’m embarrassed, okay? Can you please drop it?”

            He tilted his head again. “I’m not holding anything.” I rubbed my hands down my face, thoroughly exasperated. “I don’t understand why you’re embarrassed; you are just gaining sustenance.”

            I was going to have to explain body image issues to him, there was nearly no way he understood why I was feeling like this. “As you’ve probably noticed, I’m not normal.” I paused to gather my thoughts. “It’s not just the demi-goddess thing, I’m larger than other females my age.” If possible his furrow in his brow got deeper. “I…uh try to not eat this much, well I’ve never eaten this much, but in general I try to avoid eating a lot of food in front of other people, especially men.” I paused. “It’s embarrassing to me because of other people putting me down because of my size, it’s not something the majority of the public find beautiful.” I blew out a breath. “You, well, your vessel is very attractive and those really attractive people are the ones that laughed at me when I was younger. I just feel ashamed.”

            His eyes brightened and he nodded. “I understand now. The more flesh you have the less people desire you. People don’t take into account who the person is under the flesh?” I swallowed and shook my head. “I see.” He hummed. “It must be hard, people not being able to see the beauty of souls. Your soul is especially pleasing.” He said it offhandedly like he was asking me to pass the salt. It still didn’t stop the flush from reigniting in my cheeks. “If it would make you feel more comfortable I can leave and come back.” Castiel offered.

            “No, no it’s okay, so long as you don’t mind that I’m acting less than lady like.” I tried to grin but the soul comment seemed to cement itself to my brain. It made my heart thump uncomfortably in my chest, I liked him. It was no secret, hell, that kiss sort of sealed it for me. Just to give me something to focus on other than him I started to eat again. I went far slower, less like a savage. The Chinese was cold now, but still just as satisfying. I finished the plate and pushed it away. I got up and put the plate in the sink. “You’re not busy are you? I don’t want to keep you from your duties.” I grazed his arm as I walked back to the table and perched on the edge.

            “My duty is you.” He said pulling at his coat. “I was tasked to find a cure.”

            “You did.” I interjected.

            “I did.” He nodded his voice seeming to have taken on an edge. “Now I must find out why it worked.”

            “Was it not supposed to?” I asked kicking my feet back and forth. He shook his head.

            “I am not human.” He shrugged. _I’m not either_. I longed to say. I was only half human, half Goddess. A monster yawn escaped from my mouth.

            “I really need a shower.” I mumbled, my eyes suddenly feeling like I was carrying a hundred pounds of weight on them. “I probably smell.” I stumbled out of the kitchen. My steps were uneven, I felt drunk even though I was completely sober. Castiel followed closely, far closer than the journey to the kitchen. His hands reached out to steady me every few paces.

            Into my room, I went and took out one of my decent nightgowns. Blue, soft lace on the edges, the rest a cotton material and a pair of clean panties. I pulled the towel from the hook, and stumbled into the bathroom. I was pulling off my pants before I fully realized that I was far from alone. I jumped as Castiel cleared his throat. I shut the curtain closed firmly around me. “Sorry.” I meekly whispered. “I didn’t think you’d follow me in.”

            “Showers cause a great deal of injury to humans.” Fabric shuffled. “I will wait outside your curtain.” I swallowed heavily. Oh great, getting nude with only a piece of fabric separating us. I didn’t know if angels had any sex drive but despite my exhausted state I was hyper aware of the shadow he cast on the curtain, wings and all. I threw off clothes. Letting them hang over the curtain rod. My soap and shampoo were still in the same place. I showered as thoroughly as I could, clearing off weeks of grime and dust. Every crevice was scrubbed raw and my hair was shampooed until it squeaked. I luxuriated under the water for far longer than necessary. I sighed and stepped back from the spray and turned the knobs. They gave a faint squeak as the water turned off. I wrung out my hair and dried myself and let the soft fabric of the nightgown caress my skin as I pulled it on. Shiny and new.

            Cas’s back was mere inches away from me. I glanced down, his shoes and bottom of his pants were wet from the puddles that had formed. I gently rested my hand on his shoulder getting his attention. “All clean.” I smiled. I pulled down the dirty clothes. “These should just really be burned.” I mumbled. Castiel turned, his eyes darted down to the clothes in my hands. Then they were gone. “Where’d they go?” I dropped my hands to my side from the awkward position of now suddenly holding air. Cas shrugged. I yawned again. “I think I need some sleep.”

            “I would expect so.” His voice was soothing, deep and full of gravel. Castiel’s shoes squeaked on the marble as he followed me back to my room. I pulled back the covers and climbed under them. Cas stood awkwardly at the entrance.

            “You can come in, shut the door behind you please.” I murmured watching him with half awake eyes. He did as I bid. I patted the space beside me. “You can join me if you want, just take off your shoes.” His steps were hesitant as he walked around to the empty side of the bed. He shifted a moment before he climbed onto the bed leaning against the headboard. One of his wings draped over my body adding another layer of cozy warmth. “Will you stay until I fall asleep?” He looked down at me, I was burrowed in the blankets only my face visible. He gave me a small smile and nodded. I gave him a sleepy one in return and let myself be pulled under.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're running full steam ahead on this chapter! It was so much fun to write

I’d love to say I slept for a week. In reality, it was only eight hours and twenty-five minutes. Nowhere near enough time for my body to catch up on weeks of constant alertness. It seems my mind didn’t care since I was up, exhausted and groggy. My bed was empty, Cas’s side was ruffled so I knew that that hadn’t been just a hallucination. I yawned and stretched. I padded to the closet and changed into actual clothes, brushed my hair, and the one thing I had been longing, I brushed my teeth. Three times. Everything felt novel, new and I appreciated the little things I did without a second thought. I felt like a brand new person despite the fact the spell that I was under was designed so I experienced the absence of change.

            I hummed and fingered my pendant. _Persephone,_ I paused for a second and felt the metal slowly turn warm. _I was under a spell,_ the pendant turned hot, _Castiel fixed me._ The temperature immediately cooled. I practically danced my way through the halls of the bunker. I relished in the feeling of the hard floor, the rough walls, even the little divots in the doors. Sam and Dean’s bedroom doors were closed so either they were on a hunt or they were in the library. I ducked into the kitchen. Empty plastic bags littered some of the countertops. Sam had gone shopping. I opened the cabinet and pulled down a box of cereal. Raisin Bran. Sam _really_ went shopping. It was no matter; the bland cereal was even a bright spot in the morning.

            Cereal done, bowl in the sink, I left the confines of the kitchen in favor of the library. Jackpot. Sam sat at one of the tables clicking away on his keyboard with stacks of books and papers next to him. “Sam!” I called from the archway. He jumped and turned. I bounded over to him and looped my arms around his neck giving him a slightly awkward hug with him sitting down and all. He returned the hug as best he could, a smile split his face. “Good morning.” I beamed and sat across from him, on an actual chair!

            “You look better, last night you were…” He struggled to find the word.

            “Ragged?” I offered. He grinned and nodded. “Yeah, I wasn’t feeling so great.” I sighed and crossed my legs. “So what was the spell?”

            He cleared his throat. “Well Cas found it, it’s basically a paralysis curse. You can’t feel anything, hear, and eventually, you wouldn’t have been able to see anything.” I blanched, nothing, I would’ve been nothing. Drifting in the dark recesses of my mind for forever. “But,” He interjected my train of thought. “if you could somehow kiss the person whose soul matches yours them the curse would break.”

            “So a Sleeping Beauty curse.” Sam nodded. “Wait this isn’t some soul mate mumbo jumbo is it?"

            “We don’t know, Cas said it could be anyone. People are born with matching souls every day, sometimes it’s only one person, other times it’s hundreds. They may not have been born yet." Sam ran his finger through his hair. "It was a shot in the dark, there was nothing in the books about it."

"Well, I've gotta say that I've never half-kissed anyone as much as I did yesterday."

"So who was it?" He asked shutting the laptop in front of him. I hesitated, I didn't want to tell him. I wanted to keep that moment to myself.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "It happened slowly so it must've been one of the last people."

Sam frowned, clearly displeased with the answer. "We could try to find them." He offered.

"No, no," I sighed. "it's okay. There's no rules that that person is destined to be my soulmate, my one and only true love." I quipped. "After all, you just said there could be hundreds of them." He nodded and clearly dropped the topic. "So where'd Dean head off to?"

"There's a coven of white witches a couple hours away up that may know where your curse came from." Sam fiddled with the papers in front of him. "If we find the witch who cursed you we may find out my Crowley needs you out of the way and us distracted."

"The souls." I breathed.

Sam nodded. "He needs them for something, and we think you're the key." I was puzzled, Crowley wanted me for leverage to get to Hades. Cursing me could just be a way to hold me hostage without kidnapping me. But...just maybe Persephone was lying to me. Maybe I was more important than she led me to believe. It was all theory, but it could make sense. If he wanted me dead, those demons at my diner could've accomplished it. But when the demons saw that I had fallen they smoked out. Perhaps that was their objective.

"But I can't get to the underworld unless," It hit me then. "unless I die." My eyes widened, he wanted me in the Underworld.

Sam nodded gravely. "If you die, you may unlock something he needs, we just don't know what that is yet."

"So," I drawled. "keeping me alive is top priority. I'll try not to do anything stupid." I grinned.

A sudden beeping came from Sam's pocket. He cursed and dug out his phone. "Hey Dean," A pause. "really?" His eyes flashed to mine. "Okay, okay, we'll figure it out." He hung up and set the phone down on the table. "Good new," He started. "the coven can tell us who cast the spell."

"Bad news?" I quirked my eyebrows.

"You need to be there." I gaped at him. "They need to see the magical signature."

"But, but...Crowley's out there." I muttered. "Keeping me alive is part of the whole plan, going out there, that’s deadsville central."

Sam started to gather his things. "We can keep you safe out there." He grinned. "And Cas, he has a few cards up his sleeve. He just needs to brand them on your ribs." My jaw dropped. "It's not as horrible as it sounds" He chuckled. "It's a few moments of pain and you're good as new. Usually, it's used to hide you from angels, but he's tweaked it a bit so it hides you from demons, keeps you from possession." He trailed off noticing my shocked expression. "Tattoo or rib branding, it's your choice." He offered. I groaned, needles were a weak spot for me, looks like I was getting branded.

After a fewell-placeded calls done by Sam. Castiel appeared in the library looking a little more than askew. His clothes were rumbled and his hair stuck up every which way. His eyes shifted from point to point, but studiously avoiding me.

"You alright?" Sam asked looking at him with hesitation. "Are you still alright to do Cora's sigils?"

"I'm fine Sam." He sounded brisk and a little annoyed. "You should sit down, it can be a little disconcerting." He told me, still not looking at me. Sam looked back and forth between us and I mouthed to him to go. With a moments hesitation and a fairly lame excuse he stalked off down the hallway. I sat back down in the chair I had just stood from.

"Cas, are you sure you're okay?" He nodded sharply. "Okay, well if you ever need to talk I'm here." His coat brushed my thighs as he stood beside me. He lifted his arm and spread his palm. The warm hand pressed against my chest, just above my bosom. I wore a fairly low cut shirt so his thumb brushed the crease between my breasts.

His hand slowly started to warm. It was pleasant at first before it grew to be searing. The light that I could see was intensifying under his hand. It gave a great pulse and I felt it transfer into me. My hands scrambled his his outstretched arm and I hung on tight. It lasted barely more than thirty seconds. I felt like I could feel every etching that burned itself into my ribs. It was searing, which may be self explanatory since it was a brand after all. A high pitched whimper escaped from my mouth and I fought to stay conscious.

His hand ripped off of my chest and my body went with it. I doubled over, my tight grip shifting from his arm to his sides. The top of my head buried itself in his chest and I tried to breathe evenly. Eventually it abated. Castiel stood stock still with his hands at his side, from the corner of my eye I could see that his fists were clenched. "Thanks." I stuttered, voice coming out choppy and uneven. I slowly pulled myself away feeling more awkward than ever.

"You should be safe from demons now." He was cold, nonchalant, and not the Cas I was talking to last night. The Cas that didn't want me to shower without someone keeping watch, he wasn't here. In his place was an angel of the lord, the cold angel that Sam and Dean told me about. I had to snap him out of it.

He turned and started off towards the direction of the kitchen. I surged foreword and with more grace than I thought I possessed I jumped on his back. My legs looped around his waist and my arms around his shoulders. He hardly budged. I was suddenly thankful that his wings were outstretched and I wasn’t crushing anything. “Cora?” He was puzzled, good, something besides the arctic emotions he was giving me. I rested my chin on his shoulder.

“Castiel?” I could hear the smile in my voice.

“Did you need something else?” He asked.

“Nope.” I popped the word. “Walk on.” I extended my arm out pointing to the hallway.

“Are you having trouble walking?” A tinge of concern coated his words. He started walking with slow even steps so he didn’t jostle me too much.

“Nope.” I repeated. “Hands on legs please.” I ordered, he paused mulling over the order.

“I do not understand.” His hands cupped my dangling limbs allowing me to relax a little bit into his back.

“Good.” I quipped. He walked far slower than I knew he was capable of. He could probably do an obstacle course with me on his back without getting winded. We passed Sam’s room and he did a double take. He was in the midst of throwing things in a worn looking bag. I waved cheerily at him, Castiel paused in my bedroom’s open doorway. I slid down his back, untangling myself from the impromptu piggy back ride. “Thanks Cas.” I cheerily said and bounded into my room. I left the door open pointedly.

I started to throw some pairs of clothes onto the bed, mentally making outfits in my mind. I was pulling out some pairs of underwear and tossing them into one of the spare duffels that Castiel had originally packed all my stuff in, when the door clicked shut. I looked behind me and quickly went back to my task, stifling a smile. He had taken the bait. “Do you need something Castiel?” A loose fitting black dress made its way into the pile.

“I don’t understand why you hung onto me.” I started folding the clothes on the bed and neatly putting them into the duffle bag.

“I just wanted to,” I shrugged. “no reason. I figured you wouldn’t drop me.” He sat in what I had deemed his chair by the desk. Once done with the clothes I zipped the bag closed and tossed it by the door. I sat on the corner of the bed directly across from him. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” He shifted slightly. “I don’t want to press Cas, but if something’s bugging you I’d like to know about it.”

His wings twitched. “My brothers and sisters, they had no answers.” He said shortly.

“So you don’t know why you cured me?” I shook my head slightly exasperated. “Cas, it’s alright.” I stood from my position and crouched in front of him and grabbed his hands. “All that matters is you did.” I squeezed his hands. “Without that kiss, I would’ve gone insane, I would’ve given up.” His eyes shot to my face. “Just consider it even, I saved you; you saved me.” With another squeeze I let go of his hands.

“Even.” He murmured. I smiled at him and rose to my full height.

“Besides, I’m not exactly completely human.” I shrugged. “So maybe regular humans wouldn’t have worked.” His hand lopped around my wrist when I went to move away. His eyes were intent.

“You are unlike anyone I have ever met.” I grinned at the comment.

“You’re pretty great too Cas.” My heart thudded against my chest.

“I feel,” He paused tilting his head to the side a familiar furrow in his forehead. “protective of you. I am…hesitant having you out in the world where harm could befall you.”

I brushed a stray piece of hair from his forehead. “I can’t stay in here forever.” I said softly. “Sam and Dean will be with me every step of the way; you can even come.” His eyes searched mine before he dropped his hand back to his side.

Fuck this tension. I was so tired of dancing around the issue at hand. I liked this man…being…angel. God what do I classify him as? Usually I would never have enough balls to do what I was about to do. I would stutter and stammer and wait for someone else to make the first move, but right now I could cut the tension with a butter knife. I wanted him, and by some miracle I hoped he would want me right back.

I ducked down and slanted my lips over his full ones. He didn’t respond for several seconds but when he did it felt as if everything had shifted. Like there was more of me, like someone had started coloring outside the lines when they were weaving together my being. I threw my legs on either side of his thighs hovering over his lap, balancing precariously on the chair. His hands rested on my waist, then trailed down over my ass to my thighs. In one quick motion I wasn’t over his lap anymore. I was in the air and he was moving us to the bed.

My legs wrapped themselves around his waist as the kiss deepened. Then my hands were in his hair, running my fingers through his hair. My back hit the plush bed, all without breaking the kiss. We weren’t fully pressed together; he was slightly on his knees holding up the majority of his weight. His hands trailed back up my body, running along my sides. Up and down he went, sending shivers throughout my body as he did so. A little moan escaped from my mouth and he broke the kiss. I opened my eyes and his were already fixed to mine. The blue was barely visible; I’m sure mine were much the same way. His wings had drooped around us giving the light of the room a dim glow. My hands hadn’t left his scalp and I pulled him back down, he didn’t resist. He pressed me fully into the mattress letting me feel him, properly feel him.

My hands sought his shoulders, then his lapel, and I was attempting to push off his trench coat. He quickly understood what I was trying to do and broke the kiss again. He balanced himself on his knees and his coat and jacket hit the floor before he covered me again and resumed the kiss. My fingers started to clumsily work on the many buttons. He groaned as my teeth gently nipped at his lower lip. He pulled away and looked down at me. “Castiel.” My voice came out far needier than I expected. His eyes seemed to darken immediately. He ducked down viciously pressed his lips to mine. This was far more than the soft and slow make out session of thirty seconds ago. His hips slotted themselves against mine and I whimpered. Fuck, oh holy fuck. His hands went to the hem of my shirt and started rucking it up.

A knock on the door sounded and we both stilled. “Cora?” Sam called. “We’ve gotta go, Dean’s getting antsy.” Castiel balanced himself on his elbows above me.

I cleared my throat. “Okay Sam, be there soon, almost done packing.” It was far breathier than I would’ve liked but I heard his steps slowly move away from the door. My gaze never strayed from Casitels.

The ball was in his court.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You finally get your answer! Also, I don't know anything about Bloodlines so any inaccuracies with the character forgive me :)

“Cora.” Gruff and sexy as sin. He was still on top of me and my chest brushed his at every breath. “What is this?” He asked, his voice no less hoarse, no less completely wrecked.

“This,” I pointed to both of us. “is us.” I reached my hand up and rubbed my thumb against his bottom lip. He looked completely debauched. Hair more ruffled than appropriate, a dress shirt half unbuttoned, a tie barely still tied together. “This is what happens when I give in.” He pulled me up with him. He stood as I sat on the edge of the bed. His hands brushed away my hair from my face. 

“My brothers and sisters won’t approve.” Was he saying what I think that he was saying? “They will force me out. They disapprove of attachments.”

“What are you saying Cas?” My heart stuttered in my chest.

“I wish to stay by your side.” He said hopefully.

My breath caught in my throat. I quickly rose and pulled myself into his chest. There was no hesitation as he wrapped himself around me. “I’ll grant your wish.” I mumbled into his chest. He squeezed me tighter. “I want to stay here,” I nuzzled into him. “but Sam and Dean need me.” I broke away from him and just stared. I had just started a relationship with an angel, an entirely different species.

I got to my feet and straightened out my rumpled clothes. I ran my fingers through my hair hoping that it would get rid of the ‘I just made out with an angel look’. My swollen lips though, those I couldn’t fix. My jean jacket was over the back of the desk chair. I small feeling of satisfaction washed over me. I would never think of that chair as anything else but the beginning of the best make-out session in my life. I stifled a grin and shrugged on the coat. I slung my packed bag over my shoulder. Cas still stood by my bed, he had resituated himself. “Are you coming, Cas?” He gave me a short nod and followed me through the bunker and out to the library.

Sam waited there, his foot tapping again the floor clearly agitated. “Took you long enough.” He muttered. “Let’s go.” He stalked off up the stairs to the bunker door. I had never ventured up there. I never saw a reason to. I followed far slower than I knew Sam wanted, I was willingly venturing out into a world where demons wanted me dead. I needed all the time I could to gather my courage. From the corner of my eye I saw Cas’s wing flutter around my shoulders like he was unconsciously telling me that I could do it. I stepped onto the metal grate and I could feel my heart beat in my throat. Sam gripped the knob and after a darkened damp hallway, another larger door I was out in the world.

I winced as the bright light assaulted my senses. Birds chirped and the sound of the leaves under our feet crunched, my nose immediately. It was so…loud. Sam threw his bag in the back of a fairly beaten up truck and hoped in. I did the same. Cas opened the door and got in first. No backseat. I followed after him. It was a tight squeeze and my leg was half on top of his. It started with a dull roar and we set off down the dirt road. Sam fiddled with the radio before settling on a soft rock station. I watched the scenery pass us by as the dirt path bordered by trees turned into asphalt with a few buildings surrounding.

I shifted uncomfortably. The car door pressed rigidly into my side, all of its knobs and grooves dug into me at every bump. I quietly hissed at a particularly vicious pothole. I jerked forward as Sam hit the breaks. No seat belt in this thing. When I leaned back again I was met with downy softness. I glanced behind me and grinned. Cas had positioned his wing so I was protected from the door. He stared studiously forward giving away nothing to tell me he did it intentionally. I knew that he did, only he would’ve picked up on my shifting and noises. I glanced down, his hand was resting in the folds of his jacket on his leg.

            As discreetly as I could I shifted my hand into his, thankful of the amount of fabric in his coat. Linking my fingers around his was, I’m ashamed to say it, was exhilarating. I felt like I was back in middle school, like when a boy you liked told you he liked you back and when you first start holding hands it feels like the best thing in the entire world.

            I leaned back, as carefully as I could so I didn’t damage anything. The tip of the wing rested on the floor, I was literally cocooned in him. Absentmindedly I ran my fingers through the feathers, relishing in the comfort it brought me. It was much like petting a cat. I glanced out the window, Sam was none the wiser of the intimacy that was going on less than a foot away from him.

            We drove for hours in that same position, we never unlinked hands simply because he didn’t suffer from the absolute awfulness of what humans do, sweaty palms. The comfort his wing brought fought the chill in the air and he didn’t seem to mind the occasional contact of my fingers against it. But he never leaned back fully either. He sat up mostly straight, I first thought that it was discomfort since he was crammed in such a small space but I had seen him deal with worse. But then I realized what he was doing, his eyes were constantly scanning the surroundings. He was searching for threats and if he would’ve found some I had no doubt that he would’ve dealt with them as quickly as he could’ve. That’s when I started rubbing my thumb in what I hoped was soothing circles against the back of his hand. After a couple minutes of the constant contact he sagged back slightly, he was still alert but he was more relaxed. Or he appeared that way. I never quite knew with him, but I hoped that I’d learn.

            Sam cursed. “Thought we’d make it, gotta stop for gas.” He pulled into a small rickety gas station just up the road. “Be back.” He bounded from the truck’s cab and into the store.

            “Dean is calling.” Cas broke the silence and glanced to me. “He sounds agitated.” I let go of his hand and tucked it into my lap.

            “Go.” I smiled, he looked hesitant. “Sam’s right there, he’ll be back soon.” I sighed when he still didn’t move. “If there was something wrong you’d know. Cas go, I’m not the only person in your life, and if it’s Dean, well that means he’s in some trouble.” The bell dinged and I knew it was Sam coming back to the truck. Cas finally nodded and with a brush of his wing he was gone.

            It was always disorientating when he did that.

            Suddenly you were focused on someone and in the next you were staring at nothing. Your brain needed a moment to catch up.

            I heard the click of the gas nozzle and Sam was back in the vehicle. “Where’d Cas go?” He asked starting the truck and pulling out.

            “Dean needed him.” I settled more comfortably into the seat since I had so much more room.

            “So,” Sam started. “how long you guys been together?” I choked on my salvia.

            “Wha..what?” I stuttered. “Cas and I? Ha!”

            He looked at me bemusedly. “I’m a hunter, it’s my job to notice things. You think I didn’t notice when your hand suddenly disappeared, or when you stopped shifting. Please,” He scoffed. “I’m not a complete idiot.”

            I swallowed nervously. “I uh don’t,” I sighed. The jig was up for one brother. “about,” I checked the beaten up clock on the dashboard. “four hours.”

Sam whistled. “I would’ve thought it’d been longer.”

“It seems like it sometimes.” I whispered. “Other times it’s like time’s moving turtle slow.” Sam reached out and patted my knee.

“Cas just has that way about him.” Sam grinned. “He takes forever to finally get it, but jumps in wings and all once he does.” His tone turned sad at the end.

“Why do I get that that’s not a good thing?”

“Castiel, he…” Sam told me everything. Every gritty detail, every good thing, bad thing, questionable things, the time when he was human. He told of his infallible loyalty and his ties to his angel family, his conflict with wanting to help humanity and what his superiors had led him to believe. Then of the power, of how he thought he could be God, he thought he could be a more loving more understanding God and how that had turned out. His deaths, his time in purgatory, his time trapped in insanity. He wasn’t at full power now even, stolen grace, but how Sam talked about him he was truly a force to be reckoned with. He still was but he was…diminished. Many of his abilities were stunted, he couldn’t smite as much anymore, he couldn’t continuously fly from place to place. He couldn’t bring people back from the dead as he once had. His healing was limited but not gone.

I wished I could’ve met him before, see him at his fullest, I’m sure he glowed brighter than anything I had ever seen. I had the urge to wrap him in my arms and hold him. I had lost him so many times over, even though I didn’t know him then. “We’re almost there.” Sam told me. We had passed at least four towns on our drive, the sun had long since sunk into the horizon. It unnerved me, the darkness, the trees. Even the town we were in was dark, street lights only dotting every other corner. Sam pulled into a rather homely, that was the nicest word I could think of, motel. In reality it looked like the place where a serial killer took their victims. On the front desk window was a sign that proudly exclaimed ‘We charge by the hour.’

“Dean got us two adjoining rooms.” I looked at him in horror. “Welcome to the hunter life.” He chuckled and grabbed both of our bags. I shivered at the drop in temperature outside. Sam stopped at room 115 and knocked. The door swung open revealing a slightly bruised Dean and the most dated room I had ever had the privilege of seeing. Puce green carpets, mustard walls, paisley bedding on both beds, which no doubt had an innumerable amount of stains on it.

I shuffled in behind Sam and Dean slammed the door shut. “What happened?” Sam asked indicating to his face.

“We’ve got a case, salt and burn.” He said shortly.

“The witches?” I hesitantly asked. Sam handed me my bag and I looped the strap over my shoulder.  

“We meet tomorrow at the diner.” Dean reclined against the headboard. “They said it’d be quick.” He reached into his pants and tossed me a key. “I’ve already salted the windows and doors and spray painted a devils trap under the bed, you’re good to go.” Dean grinned.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. “see you in the morning.” I went back into the cold and looked down at the key, 116. I unlocked the door and gingerly stepped over the salt line. The room was much like the other one, the only difference was it looked like a purple people eater had thrown up on the walls.

I tossed my bag to the bed and draped my coat over the chair. I extended my hands over my head and stretched. I didn’t know how Sam and Dean did it, travelling all over the United States, hours upon hours in a car, only to end up on a lumpy mattress which probably hadn’t been cleaned in years.

I could hear the soft murmurs of Sam and Dean through the walls.

I really hoped they didn’t bring any girls home.

I flopped onto the bed, wincing at the creak of the springs. The bedding smelled musty but not unclean. I craned my neck. Hadn’t been dusted in awhile. My head hit the bedding again.  I blindly toed off my shoes and socks and heard the satisfying thumps as the boots hit the floor. Wings fluttered and I grinned sitting up, then I blanched. This wasn’t Castiel. A tall thin dark haired man with eyes like blue fire stood in the center of my room. He was dressed in a three-piece suit.

“I am Sariel.” I scrambled of the bed my back banging painfully against the headboard, I opened my mouth to scream. “Ah, ah.” The man twisted his wrist and I couldn’t breathe, my hands scrambled to my throat. “I have come to warn you.” He drawled casually walking around the bed to my side. “If you continue _dalliances_ ,” He spat the word out like it was filth. “I will be forced to take action.” Black spots danced in my vision. He sighed pityingly and twisted his wrist again, letting me gasp for breath. “Violating divine law is a price you don’t want to pay.” With that he was gone.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, cliff hanger is over, let's get down to business!   
> Enjoy!

“Castiel.” I gasped. It was his name falling from my lips, not Sam and Dean who were in the next room. Who could hear me if I shouted loud enough, or hell if I banged on the wall. I curled onto the bed, my hand clutching my chest, reassuring myself that my heart still beat. "Cas." I whispered again. Please still be okay. Please still be alive. A hand cupped my thigh. I jumped and scrambled up. Blue eyes widened at my sudden movement.

"Cora?" He said cautiously. His eyes darted around the room. Searching, always searching.

"There's...you..." I hoarsely whispered. His weight dipped on the bed and his cool fingers brushed my neck and his brow furrowed.

"Who?" He asked quietly, a silent storm brewing behind his eyes.

"Sariel." The name felt heavy on my tongue. Like I was shutting the nail in my own coffin. A mask fell over his face, he was closing himself off.

"He came as a warning." Cas guessed and I nodded. "My brother oversteps his bounds. " His fingertips on my neck grew warm. I cleared my throat thankful that it was soothed.

"He said we are violating divine law," I hesitated. Cas looked at me intently. "and we wouldn't like what happens if we continue."  He drew his hand away from me. "What does that mean?" I asked.

"Angels are not allowed to form attachments to humans." He said simply.

"But," I swallowed my mouth suddenly becoming very dry. "you help Sam and Dean all the time. You spend time with them when you don't have to."

"I do." Cas conceded. "They are my friends, but there is no risk of creating Nephilim with them." He slumped against the headboard. "Children born of both angel and human. They are forbidden and very dangerous."

"But," I was scrambling. I knew what was going to happen next. He would break it off to try and preserve me. To keep me safe. I didn't want that to happen, it was a shiny and new relationship but he had cemented himself into a little corner of my heart. I had no doubt that I would fall in love with him. "I'm not completely human." He hummed and looked away thoughtfully.

"Then we are not breaking any divine laws." He said quietly. "Attachments are frowned upon, I may be ostracized by my brethren. Scorned even, but if I am not fraternizing with a full human woman I am not breaking any laws." He sighed and rubbed his face. "Sariel shouldn't have done what he did, one of the more powerful of my brothers, but he looks after spirits for the most part. He only emerges to bring judgment down upon those who break divine law."

I rested my hand on his thigh and he opened his eyes. "I must go." He informed. "I need to gain information on why Sariel has made a sudden appearance." His hand covered mine. "I will come back as soon as I am able." He squeezed my hand and after a pause, he pressed his lips against my forehead. "I will inform Sam and Dean of the events." He was gone and I was holding empty air.

There was muffled startled shouts, a moment of silence and then yelling. My door was knocked on viscously a moment later. I got up slowly and peeked through the peep-hole. Sam and Dean, it was no surprise. I undid the lock and let them in. They barged in careful of the salt lines. Dean tilted my head up. "No bruise." He let go of my chin and checked the room.

"He's gone." I said quietly.

"One of us will stay with you." Sam informed seriously. "Get your stuff and take one of the beds in the other room." I picked up my bag and shoes that I had just kicked off and sheepishly moved to the next room, and heard the rhythmic threes of flesh. They were playing rock paper scissors. Dean cursed and shut followed me out. I took one of the non-mussed beds and perched on it. Dean opened his bag and got out a large bottle of salt. He tossed me one.

"Salt the doors and windows." I gingerly started my task, starting with the front door. I was careful as the thin white grains poured out in a thin line. I went over and over until the line was thick and weighty. I repeated the task with the window and just for good measure I did the bathroom door. I replaced the salt next to his bag. "So," He drawled. "you and Cas huh?" He waggled his eyebrows. "He as rigid in the bed as he is in real life?"

"Shut up." I mumbled my cheeks heating.

"That's not a no." He cajoled. I groaned and laid back on the bed. I needed to change into sleepwear but I couldn't find the energy. "Cor, we'll keep you safe." He said seriously. "Sam, Cas, we'll keep you alive."

"But who's going to keep you guys alive?" I said quietly. "There's so much risk now, angels, demons, the king of hell. Everything is bearing down on me and I know virtually nothing."

Dean sighed. "Yeah, it's pretty shitty. But it's not something we haven't dealt with before."

"Dean," He hummed at the table, he was taking apart a gun. "will you teach me how to fight?"

A scary grin overcame his features. "Princess, there's nothing I'd like more." Why did I suddenly feel like I just suddenly signed myself up to my damnation?

 

 

The next morning I was up early, due in part to the sudden dipping of my bed. I blearily opened my eyes. Cas settled himself next to me. "You're here?" My voice was husky from sleep. He nodded and laid his body back and shifted so we were face to face but not touching. "Any news?"

"No, my brothers and sisters were not aware that he was back." I reached out and cupped his cheek. He closed his eyes and sighed softly. "I will keep looking." He murmured. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. It was short and sweet.

"I trust you Castiel." I murmured. His wing draped over us blotting out most of the light in the room. "You came back quickly." I felt like I was in a haze. Early morning, barely out of sleep; with a man that looked at me like I held his world in my hands. Gentle pressure on my back nudged me closer. Pressed against his chest I took in the scent of clean clothes and the spicy smell that I associated with Cas.

"I wanted to see you." His chest rumbled under my cheek.

"That simple huh?" I hummed against him. "You left so quickly last night, I thought you'd be busy for awhile." His response was to envelop me in his arms. Wrapped in all of him I had never felt safer.

"Get a room you two." Dean grumbled from a few feet away in his bed.

I flushed slightly a smothered myself in his chest, completely hiding my face and my smile.

"We have a room." Castiel muttered, obviously confused.

Dean groaned and I giggled. "Privacy, man, privacy."

"Is this not appropriate?" He asked. The sweet moment ruined, I untangled myself from his grip. Poor Cas looked as confused as ever. "I have seen you grope women in public, is that more appropriate?"

"No!" Dean practically shouted and I laughed.

"Cas," He refocused his attention on me. "what we were doing was completely fine. Dean's just being immature." Dean grumbled at the comment.

"Yes, he does do that quite often." He dryly said and I laughed as Dean blindly threw a pillow in our direction. It thwacked against the wall. A quiet knock came from the door. Immediately Dean was up and out of bed with a gun at his side. Castiel pulled me up to my feet and put me behind him. Dean cracked the door open, keeping the chain lock in place. He immediately shut the door again.

"No one." He shook his head. I relaxed but they looked tense. "Get dressed, we do the thing with the Witches and Cas'll get you out of here." I took my meagerly packed duffle into the bathroom. Cas followed closely. I kept the door open, his back crowded the doorway; blocking me from Dean's view. I chose a light blue dress with a pair of leggings and pulled up my hair in a high ponytail. I tapped Cas's shoulder and he shifted so I could slide past him. I pulled on my brown boots and waited.

"Why're we all freaked out?" I called to Dean.

He was pulling a fresh shirt over his head. "Someone’s gathering intel; if they know we're here they'll think you may be near."

"And they'll report back." I finished.

"Exactly."

Cas was as tense as I'd ever seen him. Posture ram-rod straight, wings fully extended crowding the space, his fists clenched at his sides. I got up from the edge of my bed and looped my arms around his waist pressing my front against his back. His feathers tickled my cheek. Dean slammed his fist against the adjoining wall and immediately I heard Sam start to curse.

“Sammy!” Dean bellowed. “Time to go!”

Dean picked up both our bags and he was out the door, keys in hand. Cas dragged me around to his front and started ushering me forward. His wings formed a half circle around us. It was odd to know that I was the only one that saw him as he was. Sam and Dean couldn’t see the black shadowy arches of his wings, I couldn’t imagine him without them. Dean had already pulled out the phone and was urgently talking to someone as he started the Impala. I opened the door and slid to the far side leaving room for the angel present. The bags were on the floor. “The Coven leader will meet us there.” Dean informed and honked. “C’mon Sam.” He whispered urgently under his breath. 

Sam practically burst from the motel room, shirt buttoned all wrong. His hair in a disarray and he jumped from one leg to the other as he struggled to put on his shoes. His bags were haphazardly packed and gaping open. He slid into the front with a huff. 

“Took you long enough.” Dean muttered as he put the car in reverse.

“A little warning next time would be nice.”

“I gave you,” Dean checked his watch. “three minutes.”

Sam grumbled under his breath before saying. “Why’re we up at the crack of dawn?”

“They know we’re here.” I interjected.

“Shit.” Sam sighed. Mentally I agreed. Cas’s body practically vibrated with unreleased tension. My hand covered his and I squeezed. _You okay?_ I mouthed to him. He started to nod then he froze his eyes focusing out the window, down the road. I craned my neck to see if I could see what he was looking at. His name was on my lips when he pushed me flat on the seat covering my body with his. His wings flattened around us and his coat spread around me covering my bare skin.

“What the hell?” I wheezed as his full weight covered my body.  

“Demons.” He whispered into my ear.

“Guys!” Dean exclaimed. “No fucking in my car!”

I groaned and threw my head back shifting under him to try and get comfortable. As much as I loved the feeling of us together, it wasn’t pleasant having a full adult man pressing all of his weight onto you. Cas reached out and tapped the back of his head. “Shit.” Dean breathed. “Get ready Sammy.”

“Did you just…” I trailed off.

“Plant the information in his head?” Castiel finished. “Yes, I did.” I stifled a smile and clung to him.

“We’re passing them guys.” Sam informed and Castiel practically pancaked me into the leather seats. I was 95% sure that no one saw us, since I couldn’t see them. Heck, I couldn’t even see out the window. The brothers kept an even speed so they didn’t draw attention. They turned a corner, and then another. “I think we’re good.” Cas got to his elbows, his head peeking over the front seat.

“I sense no more demons.” He looked back down at me and his eyes darkened slightly. Dean switched on the music and sped up. Castiel ducked his head down and pulled me into a kiss. It lasted far longer than was appropriate for a car that had both Winchester brothers in it. Hell, it would’ve been inappropriate for a bus packed full of blind people.

“Guys,” Dean shouted. “I meant what I said!”

I sheepishly smiled at him when Cas let me up, his lips a little more swollen than usual and an obvious blush staining my cheeks. I felt like I was getting to know the desires of Castiel. Slowly but surely, he wasn’t as touchy-feely as me. He didn’t go out of his way to initiate physical contact, but when he did it was like he was completely focused on me. This was all in the span of a day. I could be completely wrong; this could just be a fluke. Perhaps when he’s more comfortable he’ll be a clinger.

We soon pulled into a nondescript diner, Quinzy’s it proudly proclaimed in cursive on the mint green sign. Everyone paused for a moment before Cas nodded and we all filed out of the car and into the restaurant. We took a seat in the corner booth. The brothers facing the door. I took the window seat but angled myself away from it so my back was mostly pressed against the glass.

“What can I get y’all?” The waitress was a pretty young thing. Brown hair, big round hazel eyes, and a body built like Marylyn Monroe. Her voice was sweet, a distinct southern accent coloring it.

“Pancakes and some coffee.” I blurted with a sheepish grin. She smiled right back. Dean ordered something vastly unhealthy and liable to give him a heart attack sooner or later. Sam got something far too healthy for a greasy spoon diner; like usual Cas got nothing. As soon as the waitress was gone Dean lost the placating grin and charm he gave to her. He dug in his jacket before sliding something across the table. I caught it before it edged off. I looked at it quizzically, he had given me a knife with a bunch of engravings covering it.

“Protection.” He said simply. “It’ll kill any black eyed bastard that comes your way. Just stick ‘em with the pointy end.” I said my thanks and tucked it into my jacket pocket. I’d need to find a proper way to secure it on my person later. Deans eyes focused on something behind me as they lit up with recognition. “Show time.” He mumbled not moving his eyes from the door as the bell dinged letting us know that someone had just stepped in.

I tilted my head. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a pair of women. No black, or glowing eyes, but they themselves seemed to glow. It was muted and dull, black, gray and purple tendrils pulsed over their bodies, but at the core was a bright white. I blinked as they got closer and the aura around them seemed to fade a little bit. It was just barely visible. They were pretty. Small petite, one blonde, one with dyed teal hair. Both dressed like they came out of Woodstock.

A smile crossed both of their faces as they came closer. “Dean” One greeted.

“Sam.” The other addressed.

“This must be Cora.” The blonde smiled. They pulled out two chairs and set them at the end of the table before taking a seat. “I’m Amy,” She pointed to herself. “and this is Freddy.”

I quietly gave my greetings.

The waitress chose that moment to return, her arms juggling the plates in her hands. She reached around the girls and set down my plate of pancake before doing the same with Sam and Dean’s. “Are we gonna need another menu?” She asked.

“No,” Freddy calmly said. “we’re just catching up; we’ll be out of your hair in a moment.” She gave her a placating smile and the waitress gave a small nod and she was off again.

“Now,” Amy held out her hand. “let’s get the unpleasant stuff over with.” With her other hand, she linked her fingers with Freddy. With a quick nod from Sam, I slid my palm into her slightly cool one. She started to murmur something I couldn’t decipher, rocking slightly back and forth. Freddy looked spaced out, like she was staring at a point that I couldn’t see. The girls suddenly froze, their eyes went white and Amy’s hand crushed mine in a grip that was less than comfortable. I winced as it got tighter, her nails dug into the back of my hand drawing blood. In unison the girls threw their head back and opened their mouths, I expected a sound, a scream maybe, but what flew from their mouths was a thick inky black substance.

It was grotesque and I couldn’t look away. It flowed down their bodies before dissipating as it hit the floor. Her grip laxed before they slumped back in their seats. With exhausted bleary eyes, Amy looked at me an expression akin to shock crossing her features.

“Well, who was it?” Dean demanded. Amy let go of my hand and tucked her’s into her lap. I pulled several napkins from the table and started blotting at the blood that was slowly oozing from the five half moon marks.

“We’ve never felt a magical signature like that.” Amy breathed.

“So much power.” Freddy added. “Who ever did that to you had some serious juju.”

“More power than any human could have access to without some type of supernatural influence.”

“So Crowley did it?” Sam asked handing me a few more napkins. “He’s the only one who could have access to that much power, the only one who has a vendetta against her.”

The girls looked at each other and sighed. “It wasn’t dark magic per-say.” Amy started. “There were dark threads, but it seems to have been cast by a light being.”

“If it were Crowley, then it’d be completely black.”

“Not dark magic?” I burst out. “They were going to let me rot in my own mind! They were going to let me go crazy, how can that not be dark?” Castiel cupped my knee under the table, his thumb moving in slow circles, mimicking the motion I had done just hours earlier.

Amy’s eyes shot to mine. “I know it seems confusing, but the spell you were under, had you been under it two hundred or even a hundred years ago it would’ve been seen as a privilege.”

I gaped at her.

“It’s meant to help you find a match, a true match.” Freddy grinned. “Royalty used it to arrange marriages. They would bring in men or women from around the world from various noble families and once one fit there’d be a great feast and a wedding.”

“It was a sign of status for a family to be able to curse their son or daughter.” Amy finished. “It ensured a happy marriage.” I swallowed heavily, sleeping beauty I was. “But the spell has been lost for at least a century, the last recorded curse was in 1904.”

“Well,” Dean sighed a tinge of frustration coloring his tone. “this was a waste of time. We know about as much as we knew when we came here.” 

The girls scowled. “What my brother means is that we thank you for trying to help. Ruling out Crowley was a step in the right direction.” Sam gave them his best bright smile and the girls scowls thawed. Sam elbowed Dean in the side.

“Yeah, thanks.” He grumbled and shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth. The witches stood.

“Thank you, Amy, Freddy.” I looked at them both in turn. They looked like they had just been through the ringer.

“Anytime Cora.” Amy smiled. “By the by,” She paused readjusting her shirt. “that match you’ve got going? I’d stick with it.” I couldn’t help but smile.

As quickly as they came they were gone. I felt like I could breathe a little bit easier without them there. Sure they seemed nice, but I felt like I had been on a precipice of dipping my toes into something foul. We all ate quickly, Cas growing my agitated as the minutes passed. My fork clattered to the plate as I took my last bite. Sam plonked down a stack of bills on the table and we all slid out of the booth. Cas gripped my wrist. I looked at him, an unspoken question painting my face.

“Demons.” He nodded his head outside. Sure enough, I could see two of them. Their black eyes starkly contrasting with their innocent faces. They were possessing children. My stomach rolled.

“Cas,” Sam pulled his gun from his waistband. “get her out of here.”

The demons were advancing on the building. Cas looped his arm around my waist and the next time I blinked I was standing in the library. I resisted the urge to vomit as vertigo caught up with me. My hand braced itself against the table, he held me tightly waiting for me to falter.

“Go help them.” I gasped and stiffly moved myself to a chair. He lifted my chin and softly brushed away the hair that had escaped from my ponytail before kissing my forehead. I smiled contently and with a lingering look he left. I slumped into the chair and willed my stomach to stop making waves.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little lull in the action but I promise it'll pick up quite swiftly after this :)

When the nausea finally passed I went to my room. My bed was still rumpled from the impromptu make out session. I grinned as I straightened out the bedding, I hoped to straighten out more bedding in the future. The nearer the better. Kissing someone, touching someone, who actually relishes those moments; welcomes them even, it’s like you’ve broken the sound barrier for the very first time and you’re running on that high. I sighed and settled on top of the made bed.

The brothers called a few hours later letting me know what was going on. Demons had descended but didn’t enter the diner. Crowley didn’t show up, but plenty of his minions did. Which means one of two things, it was a show of force or it was meant to scare me into giving myself up by showing me what could happen to an entire town in a matter of hours if I was there. The best place for me was in the bunker. That was made explicitly clear by Sam and Dean. I couldn’t so much as step foot out of the bunker without someone being alerted in Hell. My Mother agreed.

After much back and forth between the magical box, she made her feelings of me leaving the bunker clear. An army of nymphs may have been mentioned to keep me in its safe confines. Especially when I let it slip that I had been cursed. I also told her about Castiel and the recent shift in our relationship. Her exact written words were: ‘ _Of course you’re together, you don’t risk your life for just anyone. Hades won’t be happy, dear. He hates those fluffy winged self-riotous bastards. His words not mine.’_  I wasn’t too worried about Hades, he had very little pull in my life, but in my death, oh, he could probably make his displeasure known.

            I then connected to the slower than molasses wi-fi and caught up on Netflix shows, mildly surprised that my account hadn’t been canceled yet. Mid-episode of a police procedural a beat of wings alerted me to the new visitor to my room. I closed the laptop and sat up, Cas stumbled into the room. His wings drooped behind him. “Whoa,” I was on my feet in a matter of moments and slid my arm around his waist. “I’ve got you.” I helped him to the bed which he heavily sat on. “Do you need something?” It was silly and completely unnecessary but I pressed my palm to his forehead checking for a fever which I knew wouldn’t be there.

            “My grace,” His words were slow and measured. “it is weakening. I have been back to full power for so long I’d assumed that it was permanent.”  _He’ll be supercharged for awhile._ The words suddenly came back to me. This was on me. Stupid me. I should’ve warned him that this would happen. I essentially gave him a double shot of espresso and now he was crashing.

            “I think it’s my fault.” I took a seat next to him. “I charged you up when I healed you.” He looked at me silently. “I could try to do it again.” I offered and raised my hands. “Although, I’m not quite sure how I did it in the first place.”

            He took a long time to respond. Like he was seriously considering the offer. “No.” His voice hardened. “It almost killed you last time.” I linked our hands and squeezed them in a silent thanks.

            “Will you be okay?”

            He nodded. “I will. I will just be…slower.” His gaze wandered to our linked hands. “I will not be able to come as often. Sam and Dean, they rely on me.”

            Another squeeze on my end. “I’m safe here Cas.” I smiled. “Besides being bored and a little lonely, I’m not suffering.” I stood, letting our hands fall apart. “I’ll still be here when you have time to visit.” I paused for a moment, a sudden thought came to mind. “Hey, Cas?” I hesitantly asked. He looked at me inquisitively. “Dean said that he was going to but they’re busy with that ghost case, so I was wondering if you could teach me how to fight?”

            “I think that that would be wise.” He answered. “Fighting is an essential skill in our lives and it would be beneficial if you could defend yourself.” I smiled excitedly, Dean and Sam, they’re pretty awesome at what they do but learning from Castiel was an opportunity that I couldn’t miss. He was strong, he was able to lift me like I was no problem which not even Sam or Dean had attempted. The few moments that I had seen him defend himself he was fluid, he moved with the battlefield not just going at it head on like the brothers seemed to do. Besides the entities I would potentially face would be stronger than any human, getting pummeled by an angel, despite the waning grace, would definitely give me a taste of what was to come.

            “Can we start now?” I looked him over, he didn’t look to be at a hundred percent. “Or we can wait until-”

            “No.” He cut me off. “We should start today; I don’t know when I will be called away next.” He stood on steadier feet and shrugged off both is coat and jacket.

            “Library?” I swallowed. “Let me get changed and I’ll meet you there.” He nodded and closed my door with a soft click. I practically bounced to my wardrobe and selected a pair of leggings and a loose fitting tank. My dress pooled at my feet and I looked about as athletic as I ever have. I didn’t have any sneakers so I went barefoot down the hall, humming slightly as I got to the library.

            He had pushed the tables back and set out a few dusty looking spongy mats. “What’s first?” I stepped onto the rough textured mat and stood across from him. He tilted his head and after a second he charged at me. I tensed and his body impacted with mine and I hit the mats with a wheeze and a plume of dust. “Fuck.” I gasped. “A little warning would be nice.”

            Mirth rose in his eyes. “You don’t usually get a warning when someone wants you on the ground.” He helped me up. “Battle is unpredictable. Your guard must never be down.” I brushed off the dark fabric of my tank top which was now dusted in how many years’ worth of dust. “We will start with finding your balance. Sam is quick and uses his height to his advantage, he uses the environment around him to take down an enemy. Dean uses his strength, going at an enemy head on, he is brutal and uncompromising. So we find what your strength is.” He shrugged. “Now try and take me down.” I quirked an eyebrow, I knew the strength that he held in that unassuming form. He didn’t look as intimidating without his coat but the look in his eyes screamed anything but warm and friendly. He looked predatory despite his relaxed stance with his hands in his pockets and slightly hunched forward. He could surely fuck me up with just his pinkie finger.

            I ran at him. He was expecting it; how could he not expect it? Even at full speed, I didn’t budge him an inch. My arms tried is push him over but the only success in that was me slipping on the mats. His hands came out of his pockets and he gripped me around the middle tightly and my back hit the ground again. He stood above me a glimmer in his eye. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, big guy.” I grumbled. He held out his hand which I pointedly ignored and got to my feet again.

            “It was a valiant effort.” I glared at him, he was totally mocking me. “Again.”

            This was how it went for ages. I would run at him, jump on him, even tried to knee him in the balls, he blocked that one, but he still didn’t budge. Sweat beaded on my forehead. “What do you want me to do?” I threw my hands up. “I can’t get you to the ground, you’re too strong.”

            He had the gall to grin. “That’s the point of this exercise.” I huffed in clear displeasure.  “You will not be able to take me down with your strength alone.”

            At this moment I had what one would call a ‘light bulb’ moment. I couldn’t get him to the mat with my strength alone but I could get him to the mat and entirely different way. It may or may not be considered cheating but I couldn’t find it in me to care. With short steps, I stood a hairsbreadth away from his chest. I tilted my head to look at him. He met my gaze with a questioning one of his own. My hands rested on his chest and he gripped my wrists. “Cora.” His voice held a warning tone. “We are meant to be-”

            I cut him off with my lips with a little help from the tips of my toes. He didn’t freeze like I expected, didn’t push me away in favor of continuing the lesson, nope his grip around my wrists faded in favor of the grip on my hips. He pulled me forward pulling our two bodies together as I leaned the majority of my weight on his.

Now just to get him to the ground.

My hands tugged at his hair and he let out a muffled groan. He was putty in my hands. His hands ran up and down my back before he abruptly broke away. “Valiant effort.” A wicked grin split his features and I pouted. He took a few steps away. “Again.”

I grumbled a few choice words under my breath and I faced off against him again. I hadn’t escalated my attempts at tackling to violence but at this point, I didn’t have another option. I was tired of getting back up after being pushed down. I came at him again but this time with a closed fist. The half-hearted attempt at a punch hurt me than it did him. His face tilted to the side and I heard a muffled pop before an agonizing pain spread itself from my hand. I whimpered and shook out my hand. I had tucked my thumb into my palm. “Fuck!” I groaned and cradled it to my chest. “What the hell is your face made of?” I asked rhetorically pacing up and down the mat.

“Let me see.” He ordered placing a hand on my shoulder. I sniffed turning and holding my hand out to him. He tsked when he saw it. “You have definitely broke it.” He covered my hand with both of his. His hands glowed and a numbing feeling of warmth spread up and down my fingertips.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled. Sorry for punching him, sorry for breaking my thumb, sorry for making him use his already limited powers.

“You don’t have to apologize.” He let my hand drop back to my side and I flexed my thumb, good as new. “I should’ve assumed you’ve never fought before. It was foolish of me to expect you to know how to throw a punch.” He grabbed my right hand and folded my hand into a fist leaving the thumb out of the occasion. “Always leave your thumb out.” He pulled instructed me to keep my fist in the air. “Feet shoulder length apart, one foot slightly further out than the other,” He circled behind me as I adjusted my stance. His hands went to my hips. “when you swing shift your stance.” His hands didn’t leave my hips as I threw my first punch into the air. He adjusted me minutely. “Good.”

We went like that for awhile. He showed me how to throw a punch from various positions. Left hook, right hook, on and on we repeated the motions until it was all muscle memory. I was only hitting air but it felt good to know that I wasn’t a hundred percent useless, I was probably only ninety-five percent useless now. “I believe that is good enough for today.” He murmured after the umpteenth repetition. I let my hands fall to my sides and his left my hips.

“Thank you, Castiel.” I grinned at him as I turned around. “You’ve been a good teacher today.” He nodded, he clearly didn’t believe me. “Hey, that thumb thing was on me, not you, all you did give me an instruction, I’m the one who decided to punch you.” He still wasn’t looking at me. I cupped his cheek his stubble tickling my palm. “It’s my responsibility, not yours.” This self-deprecating bullshit was not going to fly with me. My actions were my own, not his. “Cas, cut the shit.” His eyes swung to mine in mild surprise. “You and me, we won’t work if you put all the guilt on your shoulders. We are two individual beings with our own individual wants, desires, impulses, what we do is within our control. What’s out of our control is what each other do, I will get hurt, maybe by my own actions, maybe by someone else’s. But it is never your fault.” I told him seriously by eyes unflinchingly staring into his own.

“But-” I cut him off with a press of my lips to his. I drew back quickly before I got sucked into the kiss.

“No. You don’t get to do that.” My eyes softened. “You’ve felt responsible for everything for so long, Lucifer, angels falling, hell even when Sam and Dean get hurt on the field.” I sighed. “While admittedly, some of your actions led to it happening you are not in control of what happens after you let go of the situation. You have to stop blaming yourself and let go Castiel.” Deep and bottomless blue drew me in. “You’re doing absolutely everything you can to fix all that you’ve done wrong, so please let go of that guilt.” He pulled me to him his arms wrapping tightly around my back and burying his face in my neck. His wings had completely dropped to the ground and lay listless against the mats and marble. He didn’t shake, he didn’t cry, he just held on for dear life. I ran my fingers through his hair soothingly as he let himself hold onto someone else for a change.

            He was so used to people taking from him he wasn’t used to people giving to him. I just hoped that I had enough to give.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, long time no chapter huh? The truth of the matter is I was finishing up college, and I sort of fell out of love with Supernatural for a bit. I started writing other things that will never see the light of day, for instance, a Spock/OFC and a Negan/OFC. Those new and shiny things will sit on my computer for ages. That being said, this story is currently 55 pages and I would be vastly disappointed in myself if I never finished it.

            He let me go after a few moments, his face curiously blank. My face must’ve held a question because he nodded. He was okay, he _would_ be okay. “Thank you.” He said quietly and pulling me to him. His lips were soft against my own. He pulled away and slid his hand into my own. He lead me along, down the hall, and back to my room. He tugged me onto the bed and we both laid back. My head rested on his chest and his arm wrapped around my waist, his hand on my hip. His wings folded over us leaving our heads exposed.

            I was comfortable. I’m sure his arm was half asleep but I couldn’t find it in myself to move. Like a damn romantic comedy, that’s how I fell asleep. I dreamed of colors, blues, greens, yellows, and purples. They ebbed and flowed. Honestly, it was like an old school screen saver, just in higher definition.

            To throw some more clichés in there I woke up in the same position with a puddle of drool on his button up. My pasty complexion went bright red and I sat up muttering shrill sorrys over and over. His brows quirked in amusement. “I swear I don’t usually slobber, literally, on guys I like.” I squeaked out leapt out of the bed. “I’m just, uh,” With disjointed hand movements I gestured to my closet and to the door. “shower?” I ended the sentence like I didn’t quite believe that was what I was going to do. With a random assortment of clothes for the day and a towel, I hurried out of the room. He looked on in a mix of amusement and a whole lotta confusion.

            In reality, I should’ve just taken it like a champ, played it off casually and washed his shirt. After all, assuming things go well, we’d be swapping more than just saliva, right? Wait a second. Do angels even have sex? In the make out sesh to end all make out seshs I definitely felt something, so his required equipment works. But did he feel the need? It didn’t seem like a biological imperative for them, they were all just poofed into existence and just continued to exist. But me, at least half of me, was human, and humans need to have sex to continue on. Sure, it had the added benefit of feeling good, but fitting pole A into slot B was all biology. But now the feeling good part was as important, maybe moreso. The question was: how the hell do I bring this up to him? ‘Hey, Castiel, do you feel the need to do me? Can you? Will you? Not now of course, maybe in a month or four when I get over my abject squirlyness.’

            Yeah, that was a conversation I was looking forward to.

            Showered and squeaky clean I pulled on a dress and a pair of leggings behind the shower curtain. I squeezed my hair out and slid open the curtain. I jumped back as a fully dressed and decidedly unslobbered Cas stood mere feet away. “Do you?” He asked innocently. Fucking angel mind reading techniques. He’d need a codename in my mind. My eyes flicked to one of my favorite parts of him, black transparent wings. They were perked up, twitching slightly in curiosity.

            “Do me?” I had the urge to shut the shower curtain. “Sex, Cas, sex.” I mumbled, studiously avoiding his form perched by the sinks.

            He hummed and nodded. “I would like to, do you, that is.” He pushed himself off the wall and stalked forward as I shuffled in place. The redness that now covered my body was not going away anytime soon. He tilted my head up with a gentle nudge of his index finger. “I’ve only had intercourse once, she tried to kill me, it will be different with you.” His head ducked and he gave me a short kiss. “I have to go, Sam needs me, I wanted to say goodbye.” I rocked up on my tip toes and kissed his cheek. My hand smoothed some of his feathers and I gave him a grin and a small goodbye. He gave me a rare smile and stepped back and with a rustle, he was gone.

            My heart, the heat still staining my cheeks, oh god.

            He wants to, do me.

            He wants to _do me._

            In a naked way, in the bare your soul type of way.

            I pulled a hairbrush through my wet hair, wincing ever so slightly as I encountered a knot. Would he grab my hair? All that repression, it had to lead to some passion in the bedroom. I could imagine him as a force of nature, a never ending hurricane that just swallowed me up. Or perhaps, he was attentive. Those big blue eyes watching every twitch, every change in expression. He’d treat me like glass, tentatively caressing while bringing…I shook my head. It’s no use thinking about it now. He could be gone weeks, even months. He didn’t need a horny girlfriend jumping him the moment he got back. I set the brush by the sink, as the plastic clinked softly against the porcelain the lights flickered.

            It was an old bunker; lights flickering is practically a requirement in this place. But…something didn’t feel right. My hand closed around the pendant at my neck. _Something’s wrong, someone’s here, get Castiel, Sam, and Dean._ I darted out of the bathroom and into Dean’s room. I picked up the first gun I saw and backed myself into the corner, crouching down low so that I could peek over the bed. I pointed the gun to the door. If anything I’d slow them and get around them. The temperature in the room dropped. It was like winter had come to the Bunker, even though we were brushing up against spring. Just a few more weeks and Persephone would walk the earth again. I could hear the clack of heels against the floor. My breath caught in my throat. It wasn’t Crowely. Unless Crowely had a fetish for stilettoes. This gun would do nothing against her. She was a goddess after all.

            “Sweetheart.” She crooned, her voice light with a core of steel in it. She was getting closer. Her footsteps were on top of me now. I was shivering, mostly out of cold, but a little out of fear. “Are you hiding?” She tsked. “Is that anyway,” My hands closed around the pendant. _It’s Demeter._ The pomegranate burned against my chest. “to treat your grandmother?” I kept my hand clasped around it and clicked the safety off of the gun.

            Dean’s door smashed against the wall.

            “There you are.” The woman was petite and put together. Her blonde hair pulled into a tight French twist. The tight pink dress devoid of any wrinkled, and her shoes made her small stature intimidating. “You’re not going to use that on me are you?” Her laugh tinkled around the room. Her eyes were feral.

            _Tell Hades he better find a way to fix this. You’re not going to like what I’m about to do._ My mind flickered to Castiel and a lump rose in my throat. 

            “No.” I stood, my voice rang clear. “Me.” I swung the gun to my temple.

            “You’re not going…”

I pulled the trigger.

 

             Death, as it turns out is far more peaceful than the world lets on. I could feel the moment I left my body. It was somewhere between the bullet entering my skull and hitting the floor. I wasn’t there, in me, anymore. I stood outside of me, looking at the situation with clear eyes. Demeter looked shocked. Her eyes bulging out of her head. She stood over me and nudged me with her pointy peep toe. She then turned away and rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers. She was gone and I was left in a room with my body.

           “This was your bright idea?” I turned. Dressed in a three-piece suit, leaning against the doorway. Hades. “What didn’t you understand about being kept alive?” He pushed himself forward and a smile split his face. He held my hands. They were surprisingly warm. “My darling.”

           “Dad?” The word was out of my mouth before I could reign it in. In my death I couldn’t care less. His eyes glistened and his arms wrapped around me.

           “You weren’t supposed to do this.” His words were muffled in my hair. “Persephone was working with the nymphs, if she took you, you’d be freed almost immediately, given a place to hide in Olympus until she came aground.”

           “I couldn’t,” I muttered. “I’m so tired of just being a pawn in a game. I took control. I made a choice.”

            He pulled back. “I can’t take you to the Underworld.” He sighed. “If Crowely wants you there you can’t be there. Being part Goddess you have a choice.”

            “You can come with me.” I jumped, startled. I looked at the woman. She was nondescript, dressed in black.

            “She’s a reaper, she’ll take you to heaven.” His eyes looked mournful. He wanted to take me with him. “You’ll be safe from Crowely there. Sam and Dean will burn your body, there’s no chance of him summoning your soul to him.”

            “But Castiel…”

            “You won’t see him.” The Reaper cut in. “The angels are adamant about that. He’s really pissed them off.” The grin she wore was predatory.

            “I can’t come back?” I killed myself, really killed myself. Oh god.

             Hades shook his head and the Reaper laughed.  

            “I don’t accept that.” I looked at him pointedly.

            “Cora, there’s no way…” He suddenly smiled and then started to laugh.

            “Orpheus had a chance to resurrect Eurydice, why can’t it be me?”

            “She has a point.” Hades looked over his shoulder at the reaper. “Looks like her lover boy needs to come to me with an offer.”

             The Reaper threw her hands up and rolled her eyes. “So where’s her soul going to go in the meantime?”

             “Well she can’t go to Hades, and she can’t go to Heaven without being trapped. So I guess she’ll have to stay her for the time being.” Hades snapped his fingers and I felt a weight anchoring me to the floor. He was tying me to this world, just as I was. “It won’t hold for forever, eventually you will become a vengeful spirit.” He said seriously. “You must get him to the Underworld to seek my favor.” I nodded. He pulled me into a tight hug again.

             “I can’t believe this, it goes against everything.” The Reaper growled and disappeared.

             “They’re coming, your friends and your… _angel_.” He growled the word. “You couldn’t have chosen someone more…interesting. Perhaps someone not so goody goody?” I laughed.

             “Dad, he’s rebelling against all his brothers and sisters, I don’t think that makes him a goody-goody.”

             “I suppose, but the feathery chickens have always rubbed me the wrong way.” He mock shuddered. “They’re almost here.”

              I looked to my body. “Oh.”

             “Do you want me to stay?” He offered. “They can’t see me. We’re not in their realm.”

             “How do you know that they're coming?” I wanted more time with him. I knew I didn’t want him to see me break so completely when they found my body. When they found the evidence of my choice. His fingers sought his collar and fished a necklace from his shirt. It was identical to mine. “Handy little thing that is.” I smiled thinly. “I…uh…want you to go before they come.”

             “Of course.” He pulled me close and gently brushed his lips to my forehead. “The chicken will come through. I have faith in his feelings for you, he won’t let you stay dead.” He pulled apart from me. “I love you my darling girl.”

              I couldn’t say the words back. I squeezed his hand tightly and gave him my best smile. He faded away and soon I held nothing but air. My hand fell limply to my side.

              What did I do?

              Oh god, I killed myself. I put a bullet in my brain, in Dean’s room no less. My blood and squishy brain matter painted the walls like a macabre mural. And Castiel, I felt a twinge where my heart would be if it was still beating, he would be devastated. We just found each other. I had hoped I would stop being a damsel in distress, but it turned out, that was all I was in their world. I was brash and clumsy. I played fast and loose with their rules and ended up on the side no one wants to be on. Death.

              I heard the door slam shut.

              Showtime.

 

              I stood in the hallway. The boys were shouting my name. Castiel walked slowly behind them. He knew. He already knew. Of course he did, he was who I was thinking about when I pulled the trigger. Dean was throwing open each door, Sam scanning the rooms. Dean’s was at the end of the hall, the door already open. Sam went in first, then Dean. I could hear them shouting, but my attention was focused on the angel in question. His wings dragged on the floor behind him. His eyes had lost some of the brilliant glow. He stopped inches from me. My hand rose to touch his face. He was looking through me. I had, for some reason, expected to feel his stubble against my palm. But there was nothing but warmth.

             His eyes flickered and refocused. They seemed to fix on me. “Castiel?” I muttered. They looked away and he walked straight through me and into the room. I shivered at the sudden change in temperature. I followed behind him. Sam had turned my body over, his fingers were looking desperately for a pulse. Dean rushed out of the room, I could hear the smashing of furniture as he left. Tear tracks ran down Sam’s face as he stood. He clapped Cas’s shoulder as he passed, he paused as if he wanted to say something but continued out the door.

            Castiel just stood there, his eyes fixed on my body, on the blood pooled around me. He dropped to his knees. He placed his hands over the hole in my temple, his hands glowing brightly for a few moments before he stopped. Blood no longer surrounded the body, and there were no wounds, it simply looked as if I was sleeping. His body shook. I stepped around him to see him fully. He was…crying. I didn’t think angels cried.

            He pulled my body into his lap, my head cradled in the crook of his arm. He was murmuring things far to quietly for me to hear. I crouched down by his side and gingerly looping my arm across his back. I couldn’t touch him, I’d just go through him, but I could hold him like this. I could soak in his warmth and hope that he’d feel me.

          “Castiel, you have to go to Hades.” I pleaded to the silence of the room. “You can save me.”

          He froze, and for a moment I thought he had heard me.

          “Cas, we have to give her a proper send off.” Dean was back, and he was holding lengths of white fabric and some rope. He couldn’t let them burn my body. I’d have no where to return to if he saved me.

          “No.” Castiel growled. “She stays with me.”

          “Cas…” Dean’s pleaded, his voice soaked in sympathy. “She’s not coming back, she killed herself.”

           “Her Mother is Persephone, Queen of the Underworld, she comes to Earth in three weeks, 23 hours and 14 minutes. If anyone can save her it is her.” Castiel’s voice broke. He stood my body curled in his arms. “I will keep her as she is, and Persephone will save her.” Cas walked us out of the room and into mine. Dean looked at Cas in pity.

           “Okay, Cas, but if she can’t we give her a proper funeral.”

            Three weeks. He couldn’t wait three weeks; I didn’t know if my soul could hold out that long.

            What would happen if I was shoved back in as a vengeful spirit?

            I needed to get through to Castiel. He was on the right track, just the wrong parent.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More than halfway there folks!

He was sitting vigil over my body. Glued to that damn chair for, I glanced at the clock, eight hours now.

“Castiel.” I just kept saying his name, hoping for some off chance that he’d hear me. If my throat had the ability to get dry, it’d be sandpaper by now. “Castiel.” I was right next to him, I could feel the body heat, the life, coming off of him. Shouldn’t it follow that he could feel my death?

“Please just hear me.” I groaned sliding down to the floor.

 I let my back rest against his chair. My fingers sought the pendant around my neck. It wasn’t there. Panic lodged itself in my throat. My hands ran down my body searching for anything. I wasn’t wearing my clothes. I was wearing a white nightgown, no shoes, no jewelry, nothing. I wasn’t me anymore. Me was lying in a bed, cold to the touch, breaking everyone's heart. I should’ve just let her take me. Why was I so stupid? Castiel, Sam, Dean, fuck even I could’ve found a way out of that situation. If I just waited, thought about my decisions for once in my god damn life. I screamed.

It was the sound of pain, frustration, and heartache.

The lightbulb burst.

Castiel stiffened and stood. “Cora?” His eyes scanned the room.

I scrambled to my feet. “It’s me, Castiel, it’s me.”

I was in front of him, directly in front of him. I reached out my hands to cup his face. His wings twitched. “It’s me.” I breathed.

He was looking right through me. “Cora.” His eyes closed and he shuddered. “You are still here.”

“Hades. Get to Hades.” I said this as clearly and as loudly as I could.

“Why did you not wait? Prayed for me? I would have been here in moments.”

“I was dumb, please, Castiel, go to Hades.” If I could’ve gripped his face harder, I would have. But all I was capable of was the barest whisper of touch, a breeze would be more effective.

“I…miss you.” He said slowly. His eyes opened. “You brought so much light into this dark world, now it’s gone. Your mother has to fix this, she will.”

Of course, he couldn’t hear me. He knew I was here now, I just needed him to listen. He just needed to fucking listen.

Another light bulb popped.  

The rage was red hot, I could feel it, it was tangible, a river running through my veins. I just need to tap into it, just needed to embrace it, feel that warmth. The warmth of life, and then, only then I would be able to get him to understand. He would hear me; he would have no choice but to hear me.

The lights started to flicker, beneath my palms I could feel, actually feel, the stubble on his cheeks. His eyes focused and they widened.

“Castiel!” Dean, always Dead butting in where he’s not wanted. I turned and with an outstretched palm, I shoved. I wasn't even touching him and he went flying. I waved my hand and the door shut. Almost immediately, their banging started.

“Cora?” My hand was still cupping his face.

“You’ll listen to me now.” The voice that came out of my throat was…scary. It didn’t sound like me. It was dark and menacing, evil.

 His wings were tense. His brow furrowed, there was a fire in his eyes. He looked ready to run me through. I was what they hunted, of course, he did.  

“I’m not going to be able to hold onto this for long, go to Hades. He will help.” I flickered. I could feel it, the rage, it was almost gone. I would be almost gone, locked in isolation until this is all was over. “I’m so sorry.” Another flicker. “I miss you too.”

His hand reached for mine, pulling the hand cupping his face into his. “You could’ve gone to heaven; I would have visited you there.”

I shook my head, trying to hold onto the little bit of rage I had left. Just a little longer, just a few more words.

“The angels are mad at you, at us.”

“Sariel.”

“Yes.” I flickered this time for longer, I wasn’t sure I would be able to come back. “Hades, Castiel, he’s waiting, he’ll bring me back.”

“For a price.”

I was gone. I could feel it, the last vestiges of the warmth leaving my system. The door swung open, banging against the wall. Sam and Dean rushed in armed with iron and rock salt. They surveyed the room warily. I couldn’t feel his palm anymore. I didn’t feel the callouses that told me he was proficient with the blade, nor did I feel the way he always gripped a little tighter with his thumb. He didn’t blink, his eyes stayed fixed where he knew I still was. I didn’t want to move, it still felt like he was looking at me.

 “Cas?” Sam called out. He cocked the gun.

“It is fine now Dean.”

“Like hell,” Dean spat out. “Cora’s gone full Casper the not so friendly ghost on us.” His eyes darted to my body. “You know what that means man.”

Dean moved forward and Castiel’s wings were fully extended as he stood in his path.

“No one touches her.” He was glowing brighter than I had ever seen him before. A flash of silver fell down his sleeve.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Sam stepped in front of Dean. “Cool off guys, Cora wouldn’t want this.”

“You know what Cora wouldn’t have wanted, being a damn ghost.” Dean threw up his hands and took a few steps back. “Salt and burn dude, it’s damn near rule number one of hunting.”

“No one touches her.” Castiel repeated.

“Cas,” Sam placed a hand on his shoulder. “she’s gone, and now she’s becoming a vengeful spirit. You have to let her go.”

“I can save her.” Cas was no less tense, but now I can see the frustration painted clear as day on his face.

“She’s gone; I know how this feels. Dean knows how this feels, we understand not wanting to let her go. But it’s the right thing to do.”

“How many times have I saved your lives? How many times have I, or some force outside our understanding, brought you back from death?” Castiel asked rhetorically. “Do you not think she’s worth it, do you not think she deserves to be saved?”

“She died a human death, Cas.” Dean cut in. “Had it been a supernatural death we would’ve gone to the ends of the earth to find a solution for you.”

“She wasn’t human.” Castiel’s voice was booming. He was angry, properly angry. I had never seen this side of him. “Her mother is the Goddess of spring, her father human. Her mother is married to the God of death.”

I exhaled shakily. He was fighting for me, fully, totally, and completely. I had never imagined another being fighting for me. But here he was, wings and all. He was a force to reckoned with. Even in the loose fitting shirt, trench coat, and scuffed shoes. He was raw power. An energy that, had it been unleashed on the world, it would decimate.

“Whew,” I turned at the unexpected sound. “he sure is hot.”

“Mom.” I rushed to her outstretched arms. “How are you here?”

She simply raised a brow. “Right.” I sighed, detangling myself from her embrace.

“Right.” I sighed, detangling myself from her embrace.

“You made my dear husband cry. Calling him Dad, it’s all he ever wanted to hear.” Her smile was bittersweet. “Plus, the whole death thing.” She waved as if it wasn’t an issue.

“I’d think the whole death thing is a little bit more serious than you’re stating it.”

She huffed. “Yes, it’s bad, but coming face to face with my mother,” She whistled. “I’ve wanted to blow my brains out numerous times.”

She started to circle Castiel. They were still arguing, and he was still as tense as ever. I hoped it didn’t come to blows.

“You picked a good one.” She grinned. She was dressed as elegantly as ever but in dark purples this time around. The train of her gown dragged on the floor. “He fights for you, believes in you.”

“I know.” My voice was mournful. “I want to be with him.”

“My darling girl, you will be. He won’t let you stay dead.” Her arm slung around my shoulders. “Hades will give him a deal; you will come back. Then we’ll have to deal with my mother. I’ll be above ground soon, she just has to stop being such a bitch.”

“She’s not my favorite person and she only said a handful of words.”

“It’s her eyebrows, they make her look all the more menacing.”

Castiel turned away from the brothers and strode over to my body.

 “What is he doing?” I shrugged off my mother’s arm.

He picked me up bridal style and despite the brother’s protests he was gone. They stood in stunned silence. My eyes were wide, he took my body and went god knows where. I looked back to the brothers. Dean kicked my desk, rattling the possessions I had there. Sam sat heavily on the bed.

“What do we do, Dean?” Sam’s head was in his hands.

“We find him, and her body.” He bit out. “Put her to rest, she deserves that at least.” Dean stomped out of the room, I heard the slam of his door down the hall.

Sam’s shoulders shook.

“He would’ve been a good one too.” Persephone remarked.

“Stop.” I hissed.

I sat next to him on the bed. I put my hand gingerly on his back. “I’m sorry, Sam.” He couldn’t hear me but he froze.

“Cora?” He asked to the empty room.

I immediately pulled my hand back looking at my Mom questioningly. She shrugged. He rubbed his face and looked up. His eyes were red and his face was puffy. He sniffed and stood.

“I know you’re here.” The words were wet and threaded with tears. “Just hold on, we’ll get you where you need to be.” He walked out of the room, hesitating at the doorway. He shook his head and softly latched the door shut.

I gasped as I felt a tug at my belly.

“Ah, it’s getting a bit harder isn’t it?” She said as she read my expression. “The anchor, it doesn’t last long, a week at most. Lover boy better hurry, or else you’ll be heading to the underworld and Crowley wins.”

The tug was more intense this time. I went to my knees, my fingers trying to find purchase in the carpeting. I felt like my entire being was being forced downwards. The world was starting to go topsy turvy.

“Ah, lover boy is right on time.”

“What’s happening?” I gasped.

“You’re going to the Underworld.” She grinned.

“I can’t do that.”

Another tug, I was flat on the floor now.

“Honey, you’re anchored here, he’s taking your body down there. This’ll pass.”

 She joined me on the floor. I couldn’t so much as move a finger without it being forcefully pressed to the floor. It felt like I was suffocating the further down he went. I couldn’t see him but I could feel every layer he walked through.

“Mom, go. Guide him, I’ll be fine.”

From my viewpoint, she pouted. “I’m here to keep you company until all this passes.”

“Protect him, please.” I could barely talk.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them again she was gone. Mentally, I thanked her. As the hours passed I shrunk further and further into the floor. I felt like a forgotten piece of paper. I couldn’t breathe, well, I suppose since I was dead there was no need for it. I didn’t know what was happening and it was driving me nuts. I wanted to be there. He was making a deal for me, for my life, I should be able to see what was happening.

Another tug and I was falling through the floor. I tried to grip anything to keep me afloat, anything to keep me from going where I knew I was. I couldn’t be there. Crowley would win. With me there he would get whatever he needed, and my step-father would lose his domain. I had to stop myself, grab onto somet…I hit the ground.

I was laying on downy soft grass, naked as the day I was born.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this may be my favorite chapter out of the entire piece! Back to back updates, weird I know, but I have the bug and I just want to make sure I write and finish as much of it I that I can.

I covered myself, an arm banding around my breasts. I was cold. I was _cold._ I was cold! I could feel! The grass tickled my feet and the breeze made goose pimples break out across my body. My hair was wet, soaked actually. The rest of me was curiously dry.

Why was I so excited that I could feel?

Where was I?

Who…was I?

I chewed my lip and looked up. It was a dark purple sky. The grass beneath my feet was a vivid green. From my left, I could hear water trickling. I took a few steps in that direction. There was a flutter of…wings. I paused and looked over my shoulder expecting to hear a bird. I knew what birds were, funny, I knew nothing else. It was a man. Huge black wings attached to his back. Folded over his arm were clothes. I pivoted so I faced him and gave him a smile.

“Hello,” I said curiously. “do all people have wings now?”

“Hello.” His voice was a deep baritone. “I do not think so, just my brothers, sisters, and I.”

I tilted my head. “Do you have a big family?”

He took a few steps forward and extending the clothes over his arm. I took them with a moment's hesitation.

“Fairly big, there are hundreds of us.”

“That’s quite a big family. Would you mind turning away for a moment?”

He shook his head and turned his back towards me. I unfolded the clothes, or rather the dress. It was pale blue fairly plain with pleating along the skirt. I pulled the cool material over my head and situated it in place. It was tight on top, giving me a fair bit of cleavage. The skirt flowed over my hips flatteringly.

“Thank you, it fits perfectly.”

He turned to face me.

“Do you have a name?”

He nodded. “Castiel.”

“It’s pretty.” I hesitated. “I would offer mine but I’m not quite sure what it is at this moment. Do you have any idea?”

His wings twitched. “I do not.”

I looked towards the stream again. I could just barely see it peeking over the lush green hill. The water was a brilliant vibrant blue. It looked inviting, serene, the ultimate peace. I bet it would be wonderful to take a swim in. I took a step.

“I can help you find your name.”

I paused, then shook my head to clear the fog of desire.

“You can?”

 My eyes locked on his. They were the same shade as the stream and they…glowed. He felt familiar, comforting. The way the light hit the hollows of his cheeks, the stubble decorating his face, the full lips, the messy dark hair. It reminded me of home, wherever that was.

“I can.” He nodded and extended his hand.

“How?”

“We just have to find the way up.” His gaze didn’t waver from mine.

I looked longingly over my shoulder to the stream. “Finding up will find my name?” I said softly.

“Yes.”

His hand was still outstretched. I could see the callouses on his hands. I raised my hand and gently placed it in his. He linked our fingers together, his thumb putting more pressure on the back of my hand. He tugged me forward and further away from the stream. His stride was cautious. He kept me in sight as we walked away from the meadow. The lush grass beneath my bare feet thinned as we walked. It gave way to powdery earth and then sand and then dust.

“Castiel?”

“Yes?”

“Where are we?” I asked, nudging some of the dust with my toes.

“The underworld.”

I stopped, ice spilled down my spine.

“I’m dead?” Abject horror colored my tone.

My eyes flew from point to point around us. It was barren, save for the path in front of us. If I looked back, I would be able to see the green of the meadow. But the path in front of us was desolate. It was the absence of anything.

“Are you dead too?” My voice was shrill. His thumb ran in small circles on my skin. It was soothing, if not mildly distracting.

“I am not dead.” He said slowly.

“But I am.” I countered, I tried pulling my hand free but he wouldn’t let go.

“You are not dead…yet.”

I stopped trying to pull myself free. “Yet? What do you mean yet? There seems to be two boats of existence, dead and not dead. You can’t fall in the middle!”

I threw my other hand up in exasperation.

“I am…”

“You know me.” I accused.

The purple sky above us seemed to crack. It was a sound that almost shattered my eardrums. The dust beneath our feet vibrated. It seemed to echo like we were in a tiny place.

“Look at me.” He demanded. “It is confusing and scary. But you must trust me, please trust me.” His eye burned brightly as he pleaded. “This is our…your only chance.”

“You know me.” The words were said with far less accusation, he knew me, he knew who I was. It was…a relief. Someone knew me, even if I didn’t know myself.

“I know you.” He nodded.

I took a tentative step forward in an act of good faith. His wings seemed to sag with relief. We walked on. The dust was soft on my feet but a bitch to wade through as it got thicker. Our pace slowed and I could tell he was getting more anxious.

“Were we good friends?” I asked, trying to distract him from our slowness.

“We were.” He said shortly. “You saved my life several times.”

“That’s how you quantify friendship?” I laughed. “So doing this, going to the underworld, it’s paying a debt?”

“No.”

I stumbled and he let go of my hand to catch me around the waist. The sky cracked again. I whimpered at the sound. He quickly linked us back together. With our hands together he pressed me into his chest, banding his arm around my back. I breathed in his scent and waited for the sound to pass. It seemed to shake everything around us and I could feel myself sinking further into the dust.

A moan echoed around us.

“We have to run.” His tone was cold.

“What?” I pulled my head away.

 Around us, half rotted skeletons were pushing their way up from the dust. No not dust, ashes, human ashes. He tightened his grip on my hand and we started to run. It was evident that I wasn’t as fast as him. I kept sinking ungracefully in the ashes around us. Fed up, or spurred on by urgency, he crouched down. I got behind him and after some maneuvering, I was on his back and we were sprinting. Our hands were still linked awkwardly over his shoulder. My legs wrapped around his waist. The feathers of his wings tickled my cheek.

Skeletons clawed their way up from the ashes. Some had weapons, others simply ambled after us trying to pull us down in the ashes below. One gripped onto my dress and I heard a muted rip as I yanked the boney hands off. We were going uphill now, the ashes had thinned. Behind us I could see the speck of green that was the meadow. He was going up a steep incline and he didn’t slow. This man was a machine. The dust gave way to rocks. Looking over my shoulder I could see that the skeletons didn’t have enough strength to make their way up the steep incline.

“We should be safe now.” He finally said, coming to a stop.

I unwrapped my legs from his waist and gingerly placed my feet on the ground. The rock was smooth and frigid beneath my feet. From this vantage point I saw where we were going. It was where all the light in this place was coming from. High above us was the brightest white light that I had ever seen. It was an entrance, an entrance to the living. It was beveled into the wall, a high elaborate arch decorating it. Even from here I could see the intricate knots and vines carved into the rock.

“Wow.” I breathed.

“We are almost there.”

He tugged me along. The rock narrowed, so much so that I was forced to walk behind him instead of side by side. I kept looking over my shoulder, expecting something to jump out at us. As we rounded the corner a castle came into view. It was in the distance, but it was huge and intimidating. Made out of black and navy blue rock, it stretched far into the sky. Purple flames decorated the pathway to it. Various figures milled about down there. Some had carts, others walked in pairs. It all lead to a huge arched metal gate. I wondered what was inside.

 We were far away, I ached to go.

His pace was faster; our arms were pulled taunt as I slowed to take in the building. We were on a little walkway worn into the rock. It was barely enough room for both of my feet to stay side by side. We were high enough that I felt like I was taking in the entirety of the underworld. The ash hills were to the north, and beyond that the meadow. To the west the castle. To the east, mountains stretched high into the sky. Birds circled the top. The south was all water, an ocean stretching far out of view. All of this was decorated with colors that were rich and vivid. The entire Underworld was a contrast between light and dark. The sea was dark, the sand a blinding white, the castle dark and foreboding, while the stain glass windows glittered brightly.  The colors were never in opposition to each other, they worked together to create unity.

The path we were on stretched high above the landscape. It curved around and up, a perpetual incline that was reminiscent of a spire. As the spire went the path thinned, so much so that we were walking side by side, inching slowly up sideways. There was no rock wall to our back to stabilize us, well, really just me. He looked like he was taking a Sunday stroll. He couldn’t put me on his back again, it would take him off balance. I was sweaty and pale. Heights, as I learned, were not my forte.

“I don’t think I can do this.” My knees were weak and I shook.

It was a sheer drop down. I was certain he wouldn’t let me fall but it didn’t make it any easier. I tilted forward slightly before catching myself. The grip on my hand was like iron.

“We are almost there.” His voice was low and soothing. His wings had extended to wrap around my back.

We were, two more circles and we would be on the landing, at the entrance to the living. Up ahead the path thinned even more.

I steeled myself.  

“Don’t let me fall.”

“Never.” His face was serious.

I quickened my pace. I kept my head straight to avoid looking down. We walked along a razor thin curve and the ground shook, the rock gave way under my foot. I slipped, Castiel’s hand never let go. He kept me balanced as I regained my footing. My breath came out in shuttered gasps. “Close one.”

“I will not let you fall.”

I nodded shakily and we continued. I felt like a ballerina with the next curve. It thinned so dramatically I wondered how he got down here in the first place. Maybe he jumped. I could imagine that. The spire was so close together he probably made it seem like fun, bounding down one ledge to the other.

“Were we together?” I asked suddenly, hoping the answer would distract me from the fear climbing up my throat.

“Yes, we were.” He said simply, pulling me closer as rocks tumbled down from above.

“Oh.” I breathed. “Why did I die?”

He stiffened. “I do not know. You killed yourself.”

My heart sunk, I was the type to kill myself? I took myself out of the picture before it was finished developing. I left him, knowingly and willingly. What if I wanted to escape, and he was just bringing me back to a life that wasn’t what I wanted?

“Castiel,” I hesitated. “what if I don’t want to come back? What if the me that remembers doesn’t want to come back?”

We rounded the last curve. All that was left was the entrance. The path widened and I pulled us to a stop before we passed through the light. Even from mere feet away I could feel the warmth. I couldn’t see beyond it; all it was was whiteness.

“Life is…dim without you in it.” He finally said. “You begged me to find a way to bring you back. We have made it this far, all it requires now is,” He looked to the light. “five steps and you will live again.”

“Do we love each other?”  His eyes focused on mine. They softened and he pulled me closer.

“We have never discussed it.” A kiss pressed to my forehead. “Will you come with me?” He looked to the light.

“I have nothing left to loose, right?”


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this chapter is 95% smut and I am upping our rating, enjoy (only if you're of age)! It's my first time writing a sex scene in a fanfic, so if you liked it/want more of it, let me know.

He passed through first. I watched the light swallow him whole. Our hands were still linked and I felt the warmth of the light as I started going through. It was a warm shower and being bathed in sun all wrapped up into one. It lasted a split second before I stumbled through, my head felt like it was splitting open.

I screamed.

The sound was shrill, it echoed in the space around us. My bare knees hit the ground and my hand threaded into my hair begging for it to stop. It was a series of flashes all brighter than the last. It was an amalgamation of images, faces, actions, the rescue, the car, the kiss, blood so much blood. The sound of the gun shot, oh god, the gun.

I was holding his hand like a vice. His hand, Castiel’s hand. I was with him, he was with me, we were together. He went to hell and back for me. I opened my eyes. I was slicked with sweat, panting, and sporting scuffed knees and a splitting headache. But he, he was as beautiful as ever. He crouched, concern etched onto his features. For the first time in hours, I unlinked our hands only to pull him into an embrace.

“You did it.” I breathed.

He held me tightly. His fingers dug into my hips and his head buried into the crook of my neck. My hand went to his hair soothingly running my nails over his scalp.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” I whispered. Against my better judgment, tears started tracking their way down my cheeks.

“Shh.” He hummed pulling himself up. His thumbs rubbed away the tears as they came.

“I love you.” The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to reign them in. “I know it’s sudden and you may--”

Lips pressed to my own. It wasn’t soft, it was hard and passionate. He wasted no time getting me flat on my back. His hands were on my thighs slowly raising the skirt of my dress. My legs were spread and he positioned himself between them, leaning over me fully. I wasn’t wearing any underwear; this is as intimate as we had ever been. I pushed slightly on his chest and he broke the kiss. He was all fire right now.

“Here?” I asked, propping myself up on my elbows.

“Here.” He echoed.

Cas shrugged off his coat, stood, and laid it flat on the ground. He pulled me to my feet. Brushing the hair away from my face, he placed a kiss to my temple.

“I am not sure what love feels like.” He finally said. “But if it is anything like what I feel now, I believe I am in love with you.”

I pulled his head down locking us in a kiss again. My hands ran over his shoulders, feeling the lapel of his jacket. I fingered the edge before starting to nudge it down his arms. He took the hint and the jacket fell to the ground with a muted plop. I pulled away from the kiss.

“You wear so many layers.” I grinned.

 I tugged at his tie, before starting to undo the knot. The fabric was cool under my fingertips as I slid it from his neck. His chest was heaving and behind him, his wings were fully tensed. His head ducked capturing my lips as he pulled me to him again. His hands cupped the back of my thighs and in a swift moment, I was in the air. I was level with his waist and through his pants, I could feel the heat coming from his length. My belly clenched, I was wet, he had hardly touched me and I could feel the dampness between my legs.

I was back in the same position that I was in moments ago. This time I was cushioned slightly from the rock floor with his coat. I could almost forget that we were in a cave, next to the entrance to the Underworld. His fingers were incessant; they were pulling up my dress. The fabric was almost rucked to my inner thighs. I broke the kiss.

“Wait.” I panted. “Wait.”

“Is something the matter?” He looked absolutely debauched. Hair a wreck, lips puffy, his eyes burning. Not to mention the state of undress.

“I just…” I bit my lip. “don’t want you to be disappointed.”

All those insecurities came flooding back with those words. I was too large, too tall, too heavy, no one would ever want me. I had stretch marks decorating the skin of my belly, marks that he had seen, but not while I was in my right mind. He had seen it all, but he hadn’t viewed it while I was aware. Sexually, I had no idea what I was doing. It was more if it feels good continue on with it. I was one ball of repressed mess.

“You have never disappointed me, least of all in this moment.” He pulled back and I sat up. “If you want to stop, we can.”

            I looked at him, really looked at him. He was handsome, but him, the light inside of him was beautiful. I would love him in anybody he possessed. His expression was one of concern, his wings were still tense but I knew if I said I wanted to stop he’d do it without a moment's hesitation.

            “I don’t want to.” I finally said.

I pulled at his half-tucked in shirt pulling it all the way free of his pants. I started on the buttons next. I tried to studiously ignore the decently sized bulge in his pants. Why were there so many buttons?

“Rip it.” His voice was like gravel.

I looked up and without breaking our gaze I ripped the shirt down the middle. Buttons plinked all over the cave floor. He shrugged the ruined shirt off and tugged my dress out from under me. He hesitated, asking silently for permission. I nodded. He pulled the dress up and off and suddenly I was naked. I fought to keep my hands from blocking myself from view. My larger than average breasts hung slightly lower than other girls my age; my nipples were hard, half from arousal and half from the cool air.

He was…beautiful. Slightly muscular, a smattering of hair over his pecs leading down to his happy trail. That lead down to-- my mouth felt dry. He reached forward and hesitantly cupped my breast. My breath caught in my throat as he ran his thumb over my nipple. My stomach clenched and I my fingers looped into his belt. They fumbled as I tried to undo it. He was mightily distracting. He had ducked down to place small kisses over my neck trailing down to my chest. His stubble tickled. When he took my other nipple into his mouth I gave up and let out a slight moan, my fingers loosely curled around his waistband. I arched my back and closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation.

“I didn’t…think pants were so…complicated.” I panted.

His teeth grazed my sensitive flesh and I wasn’t holding onto cloth anymore, all I felt was bare skin under my fingertips. My eyes popped open and I looked down. There he was, in all his glory. He was big, not overly so, thick and long, a purple vein running underneath. The head was flushed red and oozing precum. My fingers trailed to his cock. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it, so I just settled with running my fingers up the vein on the underside. It twitched in my hand and he released my breasts to look down at my hand cupped around his length.

“Do I please you?” He asked lowly.

“Always.” The husky voice that came out of my throat was foreign.

His eyes darkened and he pushed me back gently. I laid on my back and he just looked at me. My legs were slightly spread apart, showcasing what I knew to be wet flesh. His hand wrapped around his cock and I clenched my thighs together.

“When we have the time, I want to explore you.” He promised.

He gripped my thighs and nudged them apart. His fingers ran up my inner thigh and through the downy soft hair. They ran through my lips and paused at the hard nub of my clit. I jolt as he started to rub in small circles. The moan that escaped my mouth was nothing less than explicit. He continued for a few moments, my legs shook and my hand reached up to cup my breast, tweaking my nipple. He was steadily stroking his cock in tandem with his movements.  He pulled away and I caught my breath. Then his fingers were prodding my entrance. He slid one in and I felt myself clench around him.  

“Castiel!” I called out. He moved it in and out, his eyes were focused on me. They were locked on my face. “Please.” I begged. I wanted him.

“You are tight, it will hurt. My grace can protect you from that.” He warned as he positioned himself over top of me.

“No,” I cupped his face. “I want to feel it; I want to feel you.”

He ducked down pulling me into a kiss, I felt him run his cock through my folds. The blunt head coming to rest at my entrance. I tensed momentarily before forcing myself to relax. He started to push in and it was accompanied with a telltale burn that I was losing my virginity. Inch by inch he moved slowly. He stopped suddenly and pulled away from the kiss. His darker than I had ever seen them, just a ring of blue around black. His wings were draped around us and this was it. He was at my barrier, one thrust and my virginity would no longer be there.   

“Do it, Castiel, I love you.”

He did it quickly, his hips pressing flush against mine. I gasped sharply. Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes at the sharp pain. He stayed stock still, not moving a single muscle, allowing me to adjust. The pain was over quick and the stretch of his cock was intoxicating. The head was nudged up against my cervix and I could feel every inch of him inside of me.

“Are you okay?” His voice was strained and his arms on either side of me shook with unreleased tension.

“Move, fuck, Castiel, move.” I moaned canting my hips upwards.

He wasted no time. His length was moving through my channel slowly at first, but as I became accustomed to it he moved faster and faster. My fingers dug into his back. I felt myself clenching, my body was almost there. His cock was hitting every spot inside of me. At every thrust in and out he hit my g-spot. The sounds we were making were obscene. The sound of our skin slapping together, my moans, and his groans. It was a symphony of pleasure. He cock was thickening inside of me, his groans becoming more frequent. His hand snaked down to my clit and his thumb rubbed in quick circles. My back arched, I was almost there.

“Castiel!” I moaned, my nails swiping down his back.

His thrusts were brutal now. His cockhead was slightly banging against my cervix and the twinge of pain was delicious. His thumb pressed down hard on my clit and I was coming. My body shook and I let out a keening moan. I was practically screaming his name. He fucked me through the orgasm and I felt his thrusts stutter and his head ducked into my neck. His teeth grazed my neck as he came, filling me up with his warmth, shallowly thrusting all the while. He started to soften inside of me and he placed sloppy kisses on my neck.

“Wow.” I breathed.

He pulled back and his eyes were bright, a satisfied smile spread across his lips. “You were far from disappointing.” I moaned as he slid out of me, a rush of fluid painting my thighs as he did so. “I love you.” He tenderly placed a kiss my temple.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As it turns out I'm slightly uncomfortable leaving my most recent chapter a sex scene. So due to my awkwardness, you get a new chapter far earlier than I planned!

I was just resurrected; I shouldn’t feel as wonderful as I do now. A pleasant tingling warmth settled itself over my body. Still naked, cold, and feeling a bit grimy but so very content. I ran my fingers through the little chest hair he had. We were curled up together, my head on his chest, a wing draped over both of us. His arm thrown over my waist. We would have to leave soon, get out of this cave and figure out where we were. Maybe try and get back to the bunker.

 “Cas?” I broke the content silence around us.

 “Yes?”

 “What are we going to do?” His fingertips made nonsense patterns on my hip. 

 “The strategic thing to do would go back to the bunker.”

 “We can’t.” He looked down at me questioningly. “She’ll find me there again.” His brow arched. He didn’t know, of course, he didn’t. He was still under the assumption that I killed myself for shits and giggles. “Demeter, she’s why I…” I hesitated.

“Killed yourself.” He finished.

“She came into the bunker almost immediately after you left, she was going to take me, maybe hurt me, so I did...it.”

“If she can get passed the wards then nowhere is safe.” He deadpanned.

“Persephone said that she could help but she’s weeks away from coming to the surface.” I bit my lip.

“You are warded; we just have to keep moving.” He placed a finger under my chin, forcing me to look up. “I will not leave you.”

Then we were kissing.  I was on my back again his knee slotted between my legs. His hands were running up and down my sides. My hands gripped onto his sides, feeling the muscles shift and twitch.  I shivered and pulled back.

“As much as I’d love a round two, we should probably get out of here.” I reluctantly said. He nodded slowly and untangled himself. My inner thighs were a mess from our combined fluids, and as he helped me up I could feel the soreness in my entire lower half. To our left was our clothes, neatly folded. His pants were on top.

“So that’s where they went,” I muttered with a smile.

He rummaged in the pile and handed me the dress. For once, I was thankful that there was no underwear. I pulled it over my head, slightly self-conscious. It was dumb, he took it off my body, but there was something intimate about watching someone get dressed. When my head emerged from the fabric he was fully dressed, his trench coat folded over his arm. I would never be able to look at the coat in the same way ever again. I lost my virginity on that coat, he gave me an orgasm on that coat. It was tainted in the best way possible.

“There are woods ahead,” He started. “I will have to carry you.” He held out the coat to me. “It is coming to night; you will be cold.”

“No flying?” I asked curiously.

“My grace is too depleted; I can’t carry both of us.” He looked uneasy about that fact.

“I could…” I wiggled my hands.

“No,” He said sternly. “I just got you back.”

I took the soft fabric in my hands and shoved my arms through the arm holes. It smelled like us, sex, and fabric softener. I wondered if he washed it himself. I stood on my tip toes and pulled him into a short kiss.

“I love you.” I gave him a bright smile. “Now let’s get moving.”

He picked me up bridal style and I rested my head on his chest as he walked us out of the cave. He was right, the sun was dipping down into the horizon, and in front of us were trees as far as the eye could see. We were going to be in the woods, at night. I shivered, despite the jacket warding off most of the chill.

The forest was quite, the occasional skitter of animals but it held a heady silence. I felt myself drifting off, the gentle motions of his stride, and the warmth from his jacket, I was gone. I didn’t dream, thankfully. It was just the calm blackness that greets you after a hard day.

I woke to an increased pressure on my leg. It was almost bruising. I didn’t open my eyes right away.

“You will leave, or you will die.” It was the angel of the lord voice.

“You’re outnumbered and outmatched, feathers, give her up.” British, male. “Although, she does make a pretty picture.”

“You will let us pass.”

The man snorted. “You will, you will, you need to work on your lines. What’s going to happen is you’ll hand her over to my associate and you can fly free.” Twigs snapped, someone had moved closer.

 With my hand that was buried in his suit jacket I gave him a subtle pinch. _Castiel, drop me and fight. You can’t do it with me in your arms._ He made no movement to drop me, I could feel the tension in the air. _Castiel, if you don’t drop me I will find a way to get out of your arms and…_ I was flying through the air. He didn’t just drop me he threw me. I opened my eyes to see the ground coming at me at an alarming pace. I hit it with an ungraceful roll before coming to a stop to look dizzily up at the sky. To my right, I heard the telltale grunts and gasps of fighting. I scrambled to my feet on shaky legs. I pressed myself against a tree, watching the fight unfold. He wasn’t focused. I could see that now. He kept glancing over momentarily at me. He would get himself killed that way. His silver blade flashed in the low light.

The man in the dapper suit, Crowley, it had to be him. The red eyes were a dead giveaway.  He wasn’t engaged in the fight. No, he was heading directly for me. People were emerging from the trees, all had black eyes. We wouldn’t win. Not with Castiel just by himself. Had we had Sam or Dean, we might’ve stood a chance. I breathed deep, if I had any other powers now would be a great time for them to show themselves.

“You’re the little girl that’s been causing all this trouble.” I stiffened, he was close now. If I extended my arm I could touch him. “Quite a plump little morsel. I like my women with a bit of meat on their bones.” He winked, had his eyes not been red I would’ve found him mildly creepy, but as of right now, he was terrifying. “Now, come easily,” He extended his hand. “I’ll make sure your feathered boyfriend isn’t killed.”

This was a mirror situation. If it wasn’t Demeter it was Crowley. I was sick and tired of being everyone’s plaything. I wasn’t a tool for leverage I was a human being. Well, sorta, half really.

“You can take that hand and stick it up your ass.” I spat out and swung. If anything, Castiel taught me how to throw a proper punch. His head snapped to the side and eerily he slowly turned it back, wiping the line of blood from his lip.

“Now, now, that’s not nice.” He held up his hand and I was pinned to the tree. “Boys and girls!”

The assault on Castiel stopped. He was bloody and heaving. He left quite a few bodies in his wake. Crowley snapped his fingers together and the demons around Cas rushed him, pinning him in place.  He struggled and I fought to free myself from the invisible bonds latching me to the tree. My palm dug into the bark.

“Our esteemed guest here decided to reject my kind offer.” He flashed a feral grin back at me. “Kill ‘em.”

I felt a rush under my palm as I screamed. “No!”

In an instant, I was on my feet and my palms outstretched in front of me. Wind, plants, debris, blocked my vision. I felt the heat coming from my palms, spreading outwards. There were shouts, in the beginning, they suddenly cut off. I broke my stance, bending at the waist to catch my breath. My palms were hot to the touch, I felt like I had dipped them in boiling water. When I looked up again I was in shock.

Each figure that was in the blast radius was covered in greenery. Vines, plants, flowers, kept them in place. They were statues made of earth, Castiel included.

“No, no, no.” I muttered stumbling to where he was held still.

My hands fluttered over his form. I could still see his wings spread out from his back. They were tense, alert, I hadn’t killed him. If I hadn’t killed him, I hadn’t killed anyone else. I just trapped them. I looked to Crowley, his was starting to smoke. How do I undo this? I don’t have any garden sheers. I firmly pressed Cas’s chest and to my astonishment, the vines parted to my touch. I was soon gripping onto the fabric of his shirt and pulling him forward. Little by little the vines released him. When we got to the hands that were holding him, the vines pulled them away. They were sentient, or at least they knew he was to be trusted. His face was cleared and the vines let go. He was unconscious, he flopped limply forward, his full weight falling onto me. I grunted and threw his arm over my shoulder, dragging him by the waist. I had to put distance between us and them. Judging by Crowley’s attempts he was still conscious and actively trying to free himself. As he destroyed a bit of vine another grew to take its place. It was a cycle that wouldn’t end unless he did something more than just burning bits away. The run of the mill demons on the other hand just seemed stuck, permanently.

I dragged Castiel through the trees, praying for him to wake up every step of the way. I was terrified that I did something to him that irrevocably damaged him. Pretty soon I couldn’t drag him any further and my bare feet were on fire.

“Cas, c’mon.” I patted his cheek, gently at first, then harder. I chewed on my lip, he didn’t want me to do it again. Giving my life force to him, it would wake him up, and charge him up enough so that he could get us out of here. “I’ll beg for forgiveness later,” I told his unconscious form.

I untucked his shirt from his pants and snaked my hands underneath the fabric, feeling warm skin beneath. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. I cleared my mind and tried to find peace. I thought of him. I felt the glowing warmth beneath my palms and exhaled deeply. I was pouring into him; I’d just have to figure out when to stop. I felt myself wilting like a cut flower in the sun. He was like a live wire that I couldn’t let go of.

“Cora.” He was awake. He was admonishing me. “Stop.” My fingers twitched. “Stop.” His voice was stronger this time. Hands were pulling at my wrists breaking our connection. I gasped and fell on top of him.

“Do you have enough?” My tone was weak, fragile. “Crowley, he’s about to…” I coughed and tasted metal. Blood splattered against his shirt. “Well, fuck, guess that took more outta me than I thought.”

“I have enough,” His arms wrapped around my waist and with a flap of wings we weren’t on the forest floor anymore. “you were not supposed to do that.”

“You said you won’t leave me; it goes both ways. I wasn’t going to leave you to be killed in the middle of nowhere.” I said hoarsely, sitting up. We were on carpet, the familiar walls of the bunker greeted me. Everything was just as I left it. The door was still shut, the bed mussed where my body used to be. “I thought you said the bunker wasn’t safe for us anymore.”

“Crowley cannot come in.” He said simply. “We must take our chances with Demeter here.”

“He won’t stop coming, Cas.” I coughed again, the same metallic taste in my mouth. He pressed his hand to my chest and in a moment I felt myself healed. My feet were back to normal and general tiredness was gone. He wasn’t glowing so brightly as before. I guess my supercharge didn’t last as long as I thought.

“I know.” He said simply. “But until we can figure out how to stop him, this is the safest place to be.”

The bone weariness hit me then. My death, the trip to the underworld, the admittedly wonderful sex, and the misadventures with Crowley. It was all so much. The underworld---

“I was in the underworld.” I gasped pulling myself up and off of him. “I wasn’t supposed to be there, that was Crowley’s whole plan. Get me there to unlock whatever he needed.”

 “It was a challenge.” He started. “I had to take you down there. I could not ensure your safety with Sam or Dean.” He frowned. “They would have burned your body and your spirit would have had no place to go. So with your mother’s guidance, I left your body in the cave, she tied your spirit to this.” He dug into his pants pocket pulling out the familiar red pomegranate pendant. I reached for it and he placed the cool metal into my palm. I linked the necklace around my neck. “She stripped you of your earthly possessions; I left you there as I descended.” He rubbed a palm down his face, I pulled his hand into my own. This was difficult for him. “Whatever Crowley has planned for it, it’s for your physical body.”   

 “What was your challenge?” His hand tightened on mine.

 “To get you out of there.”

I blinked, that was it? His whole challenge was to get me out of there?

“But the skeletons, the ceiling booming, the path up, the not letting go of my hand, are you telling me that wasn’t part of the challenge?”

He shifted. “I was tasked to gain your trust and protect you from the seduction of the Underworld. I almost lost you in the beginning.” The look in his eyes was far away.

“Hey,” I cupped his face forcing him to look at me. “I’m here and I don’t plan on going anywhere. You saved me.”

“You had to keep hold of my hand, I had to lead you out. If we let go of each other three times, I would have failed.”

“The ceiling,” I muttered. He nodded.

“They warned me if I let go, the Underworld would seek to take you from me.” His voice got quiet.

I rubbed the same circles on the back of his hand as he did when our hands were linked making our way back to life. He surged forward pulled me into a kiss. My knees scraped against the carpet as he pulled me to him. We were air born a moment later and my back hit the bed. I had a feeling if this continued we would be naked again. His hands were everywhere, my sides, legs, thighs. Any area he could reach it was under his touch. Then he pulled away, leaving me breathless and wanting.

There was a series of doors shutting.

The boys were back.

 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter has a fair bit of smut in it. I'm getting more comfortable writing it, much like Cora getting more comfortable actually doing it.

“We should say hi.” I situated myself, pulling my dress back down. I shrugged off his jacket and folded it over the chair.

Castiel hadn’t moved from his position by the door. The brothers had been home for at least ten minutes. My hand came to rest on his back as I stood next to him, looking at the closed door.  

“They did not believe me.” He said quietly. “They are my friends, my family and they did not believe me.”

I chewed my lip. The fight, it caused a bigger rift than I had imagined.

“They were scared,” I rubbed soothing circles on his back. “for you, for me, for themselves. They lost someone and it seemed that they would lose you too.” I reached for his hand. “I was pretty scary.” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. He was still as still as a statue. His wings dragging slightly behind him. “If worst comes to worst and they don’t want us here we’ll figure it out, together.”

Voices were trailing up the hallway. “It’s been a month dude. No sign of Cas, Cora, or goddamn Crowley.”

“I know Dean. It sucks, it really sucks, but he’s trying to get her back.”

Their voices were getting louder. I squeezed his palm, he didn’t look like he was going to make any action to actually open the door. Right, my turn. The door knob was cool under my palm as I twisted it. I pulled it open and the door gave a sharp squeak. I was immediately faced with a barrel of a gun in my face. Closer than I thought then. It took a moment for Sam to realize that I was actually standing in front of him. His face changed from cautious, confused, to one of realization.

“Hey,” I said slowly. “I’d really appreciate it you could put the gun down, it’s no way to treat a recently dead girl.”

The gun was tucked into his waistband and I was pulled into a bear hug. He pulled away and looked me up and down. I shifted uneasily. I knew I must look like a wreck. Even if he couldn’t tell I felt uncomfortably bare, wearing no underwear will do that to you.

 “You did it Cas.” I looked to the angel in question. He was stoic as he nodded.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” I looked past Sam, Dean stood slightly behind a beer in his hand. “She looks good as new.”

My brow furrowed, I wasn’t a car, nor was I deaf. “What’s that mean?” I bit out.

“Nothing princess, your step-Daddy fixed you up good.” He sauntered off down the hall. “You’d never guess he could, what with the brain matter painting my walls.”  

I looked to Sam, he looked down at the floor sheepishly. When Dean slammed his door he muttered. “Give him some time.”

“Yeah, okay,” I huffed. “I knew it wasn’t going to be all sunshine and roses with me coming back but…I had hoped he’d be a little happy.” I glanced at Castiel, his wings were tensed. His eyes narrowed and he looked down the hall. “I think I’ll leave you guys to talk, um, I’m going to shower, get the forest,” _Amongst other things_. “off of me.”

I ducked back into the room and tugged undies, a band tank top, and leggings with me. I gave Cas’s hand a squeeze as I walked past and Sam a smile. My feet padded down the hall, I paused at Dean’s door, loud rock music blared from inside. What a teenager, I rolled my eyes and continued down. I walked into the bathroom. Everything was the same, my hairbrush was still in the sink. The forgotten towel still on the floor. My shampoo and conditioner in the same stall. I pulled one of the folded towels from the cabinet and a washcloth.

I hung the towels and clothes over the shower curtain and turned on the spray. As I stripped I could hear Dean’s shouts and Sam trying to reign him in. I kicked the dress to the side and I sighed as I shut the curtain, stepping under the warm spray. They should argue it out themselves. Dean was being a dick and Castiel needed to clear the air. If there were no punches thrown I’d be surprised. I tipped my head back, wetting my hair, the sound of their voices were muffled but I thought I could hear the words pray, left, and dead. Well, that pretty much sums up our experiences for the past…month. We had been gone a month.

My mother was above ground.

I hurriedly soaped up, cleaning myself as thoroughly and as quickly as I could. If she was with her mother, then, holy shit, we could take down Demeter. Maybe not take her down, but get her to leave me alone at least. I rinsed my hair and scrubbed my body with the washcloth. I gingerly cleaned between my thighs, grimacing as the water was tinged pink momentarily. I wasn’t as sore anymore, Cas had healed everything. But I could feel a phantom ache, the kind when you work your muscles too hard, between my thighs. Just a few short hours ago I was on my back and he was…I shook my head. I couldn’t let myself get distracted. I was on a mission, get clean, get Cas, and find my Mom.

Doors slammed again.

He’d cool off eventually. They were friends before I was even a blimp on their radar. If they wouldn’t make up on their own, I’d force them. Castiel called them family, family doesn’t abandon each other because the parties involved are being pigheaded. Demeter was…family. My grandmother. Fuck. It hadn’t registered before, but she was. Gods and Goddesses they don’t live by the same rules. Family entanglements don’t seem to mean much to them if the myths are anything to be believed. But the myths seemed wrong, Persephone wasn’t a kidnapped victim with Stockholm Syndrome. Hades and her seemed to be in love, the deep kind of love that comes from centuries of understanding. But I just got an entire family virtually overnight, I got a Mom, a Step-Father, a Grandmother. I found a family in Castiel, Sam, and Dean. I couldn’t take down Demeter, not when there was a modicum of chance that she could change.

The shower curtain swung open. I jumped, instinctively covering myself. He was naked, his wings fully extended. Behind him I could see the clothes strewn about. He stepped into the small stall, crowding my body against the cool tiles.

“It didn’t go well?” I asked tipping my head back to look at him fully.

He looked like a drowned puppy dog. The water had thoroughly soaked his hair and it hung over his forehead. “Dean has taken offense because I did not answer their prayers and left with no way to contact me.”

“He was worried.” I offered, my hands reached for his hair slicking it back so he didn’t look quite so ridiculous. A tingle started in my lower belly, he looked like a god damned 40s mobster with his hair like that. He looked dangerous.

“It seems so,” He sighed. “it would help if he didn’t react with aggression when he was.” His head turned to the side slightly and I could see a patch of redness on his jaw. I winced, I knew Cas wasn’t hurt, but Dean was probably sporting a painful hand. I rubbed the redness with my thumb.

My nipples could cut metal. I knew he could feel them; our chests were pressed together due to the little space. I wanted him. His hands reached out to grip my hips. I felt the twitch of his member against my thigh.

“You’ve put us in quite the position again.” I said. My mouth was dry. He quirked his head to the side and leaned forward.

“You want me.” He said simply. “I thought it would be polite to oblige.”

I laughed, it was cut off sharply when his lips were pressed to mine. Very polite indeed. The hands that were on my hips slid down to my ass. He squeezed slightly and moved onto the back of my thighs. He hoisted me up so I was level with his head and pressed me against the slick tiles on the wall. Then it felt like more than just his hands were holding me up, I broke the kiss to look down, half expecting that he had suddenly sprouted an extra set. He had let me go, an invisible force kept me stabilized against the wall. I arched a brow, a clear question on my face.

“My grace.” He grinned. He spread my legs wide and got to his knees. My eyes widened at what I knew was coming. I swallowed heavily. “I made a promise to explore you.” His voice was sinful. I looked down again, he was fully erect. This was exciting him as much as it was exciting me. His hands trailed up my thighs, pausing momentarily to look at the flesh between them. “When my father created you, I never expected to find beauty like this.” I felt like I was laid bare in front of him as he regarded me from his knees. “Soft,” He squeezed my thigh. “smooth,” His fingers trailed down my folds. I let out a strangled moan. “and wet.” His fingers spread me wide and I felt his breath on my center as he moved closer. As his lips closed over my clit I sought purchase on the wall.

“Fuck, Castiel.” I moaned.

The suction and little flicks of his tongue were divine. I felt a finger prodding at my entrance and I canted my hips forward and he slipped his index finger in. He pumped it back and forth slowly. My breathing was coming out in pants and I could feel the coil in my stomach already tightening up. He knew how to play me like a fiddle. He slightly nipped my clit with his teeth and I bucked. My hands were off the wall and buried in his hair. He pulled his mouth free of my clit in favor of lapping up my juices. He added another finger, stretching me wider. He arched them in a come-hither motion and I was losing control. My moans were no longer contained, I knew that sound carried in the bunker and I was sure I was giving Sam and Dean quite the performance to listen to. That coil was going to break at any second. My back was arched clear off the wall as I threw my head back. His lips closed around my clit again and I was a goner. I had enough foresight to release one of my hands that was gripping his hair and clap it over my mouth as I screamed. My entire body shook and I ground against his face as I came.

I couldn’t quite catch my breath. I felt boneless and weak in the best way possible. He placed small kisses against my sensitive flesh as he pulled away. His lips and chin shone with my fluids in the dim light. He stood, albeit a little stiffly.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” I panted as he stood between my legs. I felt the heat of his cock against my thigh.

“I have watched humanity for millennias,” He paused. “plus Dean has a habit of leaving his pornography open on the computer.”  I let out a breathless laugh. His hands, not his grace, gripped my thighs again and set me down on my feet. I wobbled slightly, he didn’t let me go until I was stable.

“What about you?” I nodded to his cock, still erect, the head flushed red.

“I will be fine.”

I frowned at the words, he gave me a wonderful orgasm and he didn’t want me to return the favor? Fuck that. I dropped to my knees.

“You do no…” His breath left him in a rush as my hand closed around the base of his cock. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I’d figure it out as I went along. I pulled my hand up and down, marveling at the heat and hardness in my palm. I scooted closer. He was weeping precum. I ran my thumb over the head and he twitched. Sensitive. I braced myself, show time. I opened my mouth and closed it over his flesh. It tasted like salt and skin. I sucked slightly, a hand weaved its way into my hair. I looked up, his eyes were focused intently on me. I took more of him in my mouth, careful of my teeth. He was breathing hard and the grip on my hair tightened. I started to bob up and down, taking a little more each time. There was no way I would ever get him all the way down. What I couldn’t reach I started to jerk with my free hand. He was groaning above me. Head thrown back. The shower was still on, the water still lukewarm. It flowed over his body, highlighting the hollows in his throat.

“I am not going to last much longer.” He warned tightly.

His cock had started to twitch, telling me that his release was imminent. I pulled away and closed my mouth around his cock head and sucked. He groaned low and loud and stiffened. I took him as deep as I could and let him release in my mouth. I hummed around his cock as I swallowed. He shallowly thrust, putting more of himself down my throat than was comfortable. But I held on until it was finished. I let myself off of him and grinned up at his half-lidded eyes.

“Not bad, eh?” I quipped. He yanked me up and pulled me into a desperate kiss.

“I love you.” He said between kisses.

“I love you too.” I pulled away letting the water run over both of us momentarily before turning off the taps. I removed the towel folded over the shower bar and ran it over my body before handing it to Castiel. He did the same as I dressed in my selected outfit. I turned back to him, fully dressed, his hair still wet. I slid open the curtain and held out my hand. He placed his hand in mine and I smiled. If this was what life was going to be like, awesome orgasms and a lover that made me happy, we’d be together for life.

As we exited the first thing I noticed was the absence of Dean’s music, the next thing was Dean leaning against his doorway, smirking at us. “Have fun?” He asked.

“Very much so.” I grinned up at Castiel lasciviously. “Are you over your bitch fit?” I asked as we continued down the hall.

“Never princess.” His voice carried down the hall. I paused and looked back.

“An orgasm can help with that.” I said nonchalantly. “Maybe try a bar, I’m sure a woman would be happy to oblige,” I shrugged. “if not your hand would do nicely.” At his dumbfounded expression, I laughed as I tugged Castiel back into my room.  


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut in this one! Moving the plot swiftly on. I'd just like to take the time and thank everyone reading, leaving comments, and bookmarking it means the world to me. <3

I flopped down on my bed. I was hungry but I couldn’t quite muster up enough energy to make my way to the kitchen and make something. My fingers closed around the pendant. _Mom?_ I waited a few more moments. It didn’t change temperature. _Mom?_ I tried again, the voice in my head urgently echoed. Nothing, the metal was cool to the touch.

“Cas, I can’t reach my Mom.” I rolled over, he was in his chair. “She’s above ground now.”

He titled his head, brow furrowing. “Maybe it only works in the Underworld.”

I deflated. How was I supposed to get ahold of her now?

“I guess I’ll have to research.” I sighed. His weight dipped the bed as he sat next to me.

“There is no need.” I looked at him quizzically. “When you healed me the first time, brought me back from death. It was not demons or Crowley. It was a man and a woman. Both of them were not human.”

“Gods and goddesses?”

He paused, his brow furrowed in thought. “I am unsure, but I knew I was not on earth any longer. I would later learn that it was Olympus, the man kept talking, bragging about his home. The woman stayed silent.”

“What did they look like?” I asked breathlessly. He had been there; he had gotten out of there. If he did that he could get us back in if we needed to.

“The man was large, tanned, and blonde. The woman had long brown hair, she was very pale.”

I sagged. It wasn’t Demeter.

“They were obviously involved with each other; they would take breaks. I could hear their moans through the walls. The man loved to torture. He was very adept with the angel blade.” His voice had gotten very dull. I took hold of his hand. He squeezed it gratefully. “It was on one of those breaks where I broke free. They had only warded the house, not the surrounding area.”

“How did you know it was Olympus?”

“I was chased,” He continued, ignoring my question. “I ran as fast as I could, hiding when I could. I hid in the market, once they passed I made my way to the golden gates. As soon as I left them I was able to fly.” He sighed. “Olympus is a palace city, marble stones, bronze, and gold make up the buildings. I watched it as it was built.”

The silence in the room was deafening. He was tense, not a muscle moving, his wings folded behind him. He was still affected by it. He may be a big bad angel, but he was just another living being on this planet capable of feeling emotions. He could feel pain, love, I knew he could.

“What did they want?”

If possible, he stiffened further. “They wanted to know how to get into the bunker.” My heart stuttered in my chest. “I…I was unaware that they had gotten into my mind.”

My breath caught in my throat. They tortured him because of me. I felt like I had been dumped in ice water. Demeter got in because of the information she received from the bastards that tortured him.

“I am so sorry.” We both said the words at the same exact time. I looked at him in confusion, he mirrored my expression.

“What do you have to be sorry about?” I asked in exasperation.

“I led them to you, to us.” His head tilted. “You should not apologize.”

 I barked out a laugh. “Castiel, it was my…” I paused.

No, it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t gift wrap him and hand him over. Bad people chose to do bad things. I wasn’t responsible for that. He wasn’t responsible for giving the location to the bunker to the bad guys. We were both victims of this circumstance.

“No,” I gave him a smile. “it wasn’t either of our faults, Cas. We didn’t do anything wrong.” He frowned. “So there’s nothing to apologize for. You didn’t willingly give over the location, even if you did, it was under duress. I don’t hold you responsible. Bad people do bad things.” I shrugged and stood. “I’m going to go find something to eat and see if I can—” My next words were cut off due to a bang from my desk.

The wooden box that always sat closed sounded like something was inside of it. It sounded like someone, or something was trying to escape from it. My eyes darted to Cas, he had stood and was quickly pushing me behind him. A bang sounded again and the box crashed to the floor. If it wasn’t so terrifying I would’ve laughed at it. It was damn near comical. At every bang, it would slide across the floor. Castiel was crowding me towards the door. The box seemed to know where we were because at every step it followed. My hand groped for the door handle and after a moment of fumbling we were out of the room and making our way to the library.

“What the hell?” Sam’s door was open and as we passed he looked at us with wide eyes. “Dean!” He called out.

“What is it Sa—the hell is happening?” His expression was the same as Sam’s, disbelief. “Get to the basement.” He ordered ducking back into his room and emerging a moment later with several weapons.

He kept a gun trained on the box. Sam followed his brother’s example and pretty soon we were two bookends. Cas and I were walking backwards at a steady pace and the brother’s followed. I didn’t know the layout of this place as well as the gentlemen but I sure wish I did at the moment. It was awkward trying to navigate a place backwards while fleeing from a box. The box in question was starting to crack in several places. Whatever it was it would be free it was only a matter of time. I pushed open the door leading to the basement, I only found it again with blind luck. That and Sam practically told me what door it was by the ferocity of his nods. I forewent going backwards down the stairs, I was just resurrected there was no need to kill myself again. It tumbled down the stairs and banged against the wall. The wood cracked even further. We all collectively held our breath expecting it to bust open.

“Get it in the circle,” Sam said cautiously. “it’ll damn near hold anything.”

I nodded and walked quickly backwards. Its path was focused completely on me. It had started to jump slightly with all the bangs, moving faster against the concrete. Beneath my feet, I felt the texture of the floor change as I stepped in the circle. I expected to walk right back out of it but my back hit an invisible wall. I looked up in panic. I was trapped, I wasn’t a demon and I was trapped.

“The hell?” I gasped. “Guys this isn’t funny.” The banging became more concentrated, as the wood splintered I could see the pale flesh of a hand.

“Get her out of there.” Castiel stood just outside of the trap.

Dean shrugged off his flannel shirt breaking the circle and I darted to it, my feet slipped slightly at the change in traction. It didn’t work, I was still just as trapped as before. Sam ducked down and started scraping away at the concrete. It would be too late by the time he etched through the circle. The banging stopped and I turned to face the box. I planted my feet shoulder width apart and prepared to fight.  

“This trap shouldn’t work on you.” Sam sounded puzzled.

“Then it is not the trap.” Castiel’s voice deepened.

 I looked over my shoulder, he was gripping the silver blade in hand. The boys held their weapons at the ready. I raised my fists, wishing that I had something sharp. At once the box seemed to explode. My arms rose to protect my head, I screwed my eyes shut. It flew in pieces around the room, shards of wood pierced my arm, if the weren’t raised I would’ve been facing some serious injuries.

“Squirrel, Moose, Feathers, and the oh so lovely Princess.”

 My eyes popped open, fuck. Black suit, red tie, all dotted with various foliage. I smirked, it wasn’t so easy getting out of it then.

“Let her out Crowley.” Castiel growled.

Crowley snorted. “I don’t think so, not yet at least.” He took a few steps forward, crowding me against the invisible wall. “I’d like to make a deal.” He gave me a feral grin.

 “What deal?” I grimaced.

“You help me with my little, tiny, miniscule problem and I leave you alone. For good.”

“The problem?” I asked and he smiled, he knew he had me, at least a little bit.

“Don’t listen to him Cora.” Dean butt in. “He’s a liar, only in it for himself.”

Crowley gave Dean a look of mock surprise. “Who, me?” He pointed to himself and in a instant he dropped the façade. “A little privacy boys it’s time to let the important people talk.” When no one moved he sighed. “Remember, you’re making me do this.” He tsked. He reached out and grabbed my left arm, in a swift movement he twisted it and I heard the snap before I felt it. When I did, I screamed. “She’s got so many lovely bones; it’d be a shame to break them all.”

 I had never broken an appendage an arm before, let me tell you, it’s not fun. It’s searing, it’s your brain trying to make connections to an arm that doesn’t work properly. The nerves are like a live wire just sending impulses of agony up your arm. My face was wet with tears and the boys were all stone faced. Castiel’s eyes held anxiety over laid with rage, his knuckles were turning white with the grip he had on his blade.

“Go.” I gasped as Crowley took hold of my other arm.  

They shifted uneasily, looking between me and the Demon. “Better listen to the lady boys.”

Sam was the first to move, he walked backwards out of the dungeon, keeping us in sight before he disappeared from view. Dean was next, grumbling all the way. Castiel didn’t move, I knew his mind was running through scenarios to rescue me.

“Feathers,” Crowley sing songed. “you’re really putting your one and only love at a severe disadvantage here.” His fingers trailed down my broken arm to grip my pinkie. “I wonder if she’ll scream just as lovely if I went through all of her fingers.”

“Castiel,” He was pulling the finger back slowly, he would break it soon. “go.” I pleaded. 

Cas closed his eyes and his wings fluttered and he was gone.

“Finally.” Crowley let go of me completely and took a few steps back. “Sorry about all the unpleasantries, love, you know how pig headed they are.”  

“What do you want?” My voice was weaker than I intended.

He smirked. “I just need you to turn a little lock.”

“A lock?”

“In Hell, it’s painfully easy, one turn and you’re free of me.”

“What does it do?” I asked, wincing at the slight movement of my arm.

“Nothing much, my dear.” He clasped his hands behind his back. “It just opens a door.”

“To Hades?” I scoffed. “No deal Crowley, kill me if you want, but you and I know that without me you’re just looking at a lock with no key.”

His grin turned feral. “What about Mommy dearest?”

I froze. “What about my Mother?” My pendant hung painfully cold against my chest.

“Uh oh,” His eyes went comically wide. “did I say something wrong?”

“What about my Mother?” I repeated, steel in my tone. I advanced on him, my palms felt like they were crackling with energy.

“Oh nothing,” His hands unclasped and he dug into his suit jacket. He pulled out an envelope. “she is quite beautiful though, isn’t she?” He withdrew a picture, it was my Mom, Persephone, she looked to be walking through the forest. He flipped to the next one, she was breathing life into nature. “I guess you take after her.” He flipped through the rest quite quickly, sometimes she wasn’t in a forest, sometimes she was dressed in regular clothes, sometimes she was with others. But it was all her. He knew where she was at all times.

“You think she can’t defend herself?” I grinned. “Do you think her husband leaves her defenseless?”

“We’ll just have to see,” His eyes darted down to the pendant on my neck. “it’ll be hard to warn her when you’re trapped down here with me.”

My brow furrowed. No one outside of Castiel, my Mother, and Hades knew of the pendants capabilities. It was cold, perpetually, it always thrummed with some warmth.

“Right.” I said shortly, backing up from him. I waited until my back hit the invisible wall. We stood on opposite ends of the circle now. “Or maybe, someone’s not as clever as they think.” I tore the necklace off my neck and threw it in the opposite direction. It bounced against the circle border and immediately I felt the wall dissipate. I stumbled out of it just as Crowley surged forward grabbing the empty space where my body once was. My butt hit the floor painfully, I was a hairsbreadth away from the perimeter of the circle.

Crowley clucked. “I guess you’re just not beauty, you’ve got some brains in there too.”

“Castiel!” I bellowed.

I scrambled away from the circle half expecting him to suddenly reach out and grab me, even though I knew that was impossible. Cas was there in less than a heartbeat. He was then crouched by me, I smiled at him thankfully as he gently took hold of the broken appendage. I stopped breathing because of the searing pain. He rotating the limb, putting it back in it’s approximate place. Then light lit up the dim space as he healed it. It was a soothing balm against the pain. Pretty soon the only reminder of the broken bone was the dull ache I felt. Cas helped me up. Crowley was pacing like an animal in a cage.

The boys clomped down the stairs a moment later. Both had guns drawn.

“Well,” Dean grinned. “it looks like we’ve got a Class A douche in our dungeon.” Dean took aim and pulled the trigger. Crowley froze. “Sam, go get the chains.” I looked at him questioningly. “Devil’s trap bullets.” He grinned.

Sam disappeared for a few moments and returned with cuffs and chains. He entered the trap and cuffed Crowley’s wrists. “I think we’ll just leave you there to stew for a little.” Sam smiled as he stepped out of the trap.

“It’ll give you time to think about what you did wrong.” Dean said as he tucked away his gun.

As a group, we started out of the basement. I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder one last time before he disappeared from view. Although he was trapped, his eyes didn’t hold anything but triumph.

 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys we have surpassed 50K words!!! Wooo!!!! In this chapter, we've got angst, fluff, and heart to hearts abound. Enjoy!

Books were spread out everywhere on the tables, all flipped to random pages. Books on demons, demi-gods, and sigils. If it was needed it was laid out on the table. Silver bullets and a small knife were piled on one side. They really went into research mode for me. I took a seat in one of the chairs, my elbows resting on the table as I propped up my head. Cas stayed close, taking a seat next to me. His wing draped itself over my shoulders, a nice comforting warmth settling onto my back. The brothers sat heavily in their chairs.

“The king of hell in our basement.” Dean chuckled ruefully. “All we need now is Lucifer to waltz in and we’ve got a party.”

Sam exchanged a look with Dean and they both straightened. “Did Crowley say what he wanted?” He asked looking directly at me.

“To unlock a door.” I rubbed my face sighing. “He didn’t say to what, but I’m pretty positive it’s to the Underworld.”

 Sam sat back in his chair. “Unlock a door in hell.” He mused.

“Well,” Dean got up. “if Crowley wants something, we try like hell to make sure he doesn’t get it.” He walked down the hallway, disappearing for a moment, before reappearing with a couple of beers. He handed one to Sam and then, reluctantly, to me. The glass chilled my palm. I twisted it open and took a drag, holding in my grimace.

I hated beer.

“He’s keeping tabs on my Mom.” I rubbed the corners of my eyes. I could feel a headache coming on. No food in who knows how long and I was having a beer. “Showed me all these pictures.”

“Shit.” Dean sighed. “Well, we’ve gotta figure out where she is and warn her.”

“We?” I sounded surprised. “Don’t you guys have your own cases?”

Sam smiled. “If it involves Crowley it involves us.” He opened his bottle. “Besides, I’ve been researching on and off what you are and what you may be capable of.”

I was even more surprised. Sam had been researching me, to help me.

“Come up with anything?” My face felt flushed, damn alcohol. I set the half empty bottle on the table and pushed it away. I leaned back against the chair, my shoulder brushing Castiel’s coat.

“Demi-Gods, or Goddesses in your case, take aspects from their parents. Take Orpheus for example, he was said to charm all living things with his skills in the arts. His Father, Apollo, is the God of music, amongst other things. Hence, the connection.” Sam took another drink of his beer. “Your Mom, Persephone, is the goddess of spring, likely your powers are concentrated with vegetation and rebirth.”

“They are,” I cut in. “we were attacked in the woods, I sort of made everyone living greenery.” I sighed and took Cas’s hand. “Plus, I have that whole healing thing going on.”

Sam’s brows furrowed. “Huh.” He murmured. “I can’t see how being able to control plants helps Crowley unlock a door.”

My stomach chose that moment to let out a monster growl. Dean smirked in my direction.

“I’m going to go find some food.” I sheepishly said standing.

I went to unlink our hands but he held tight and stood with me. I looked at him, vaguely puzzled. I was sure he’d want to discuss the next plan of action with the boys. He hadn’t talked at all since I had escaped. He had just been a stoic presence beside me. Nonetheless, I tugged him along. My feet padding to the kitchen. I nudged open the door with my hip and as it swung shut he was on me. Not kissing, no, he clung to me desperately. His arms locked around my back, head buried in the crook of my neck. After a moment I enveloped him in return. My arms looping around his neck, my fingers running through the small hairs at the nape of his neck. He seemed to sag into me, tension releasing from his body as seconds turned into minutes. We were as close as we could get without either of us being naked. It was pure, unadulterated intimacy.

“I love you.” I hushed into his coat. His grip tightened and he repeated the sentiment. His voice gravelly and quiet. “I’m still here,” I murmured. “you’re still here, we’re okay.” He pulled back, to look at me.

They were glazed, frightened. “You almost—”

I cut him off cupping his face between my palms. “Hey, hey,” I shushed. “none of that, I am alive. I am here. I am still with you.” I gave him a tiny smile. “Even the King of Hell can’t keep us apart.” He closed his eyes, leaning into my touch. “You just got me back, I’m not going anywhere.”

His eyes opened, in them, I saw that he had steeled himself. He ducked down giving me a quick kiss. “Even if you go, I will follow.”

My brow furrowed. “Cas,” I started, my voice sounding cautious. “if you mean that you would give your life if I lost mine, I don’t want that.” He averted his gaze, I forcefully pushed his head so his eyes met mine. “If I die, whether it be in eighty years, or tomorrow, you have to go on.” The telltale gleam of stubbornness washed over his face. “You’ve existed for millennias without me—”

“Existed.” He cut me off. “Not lived. You give my world life, a light to lead me in the darkness. When my Father created humanity, they were messy, but in you, I find the love and perfection that he always witnessed. I will not go back to existing for the sake of doing so, fighting, killing, being a puppet for the greater good.”

“Castiel.” My eyes flew over his face, seeking a gap in his conviction. There were none that I could find, he was dead serious. “Then I suppose I’ll have to stick around.” He moved to untangle us. I held on tight. “But if it happens,” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “promise me you’ll try to stick around if only to say goodbye.”

I opened them again. His cerulean eyes seemed to glow brightly, intensely focused on my face, before he finally murmured. “I promise.”  

We pulled apart and I tried to shake off the heavy topic of death. I didn’t want to think of it. I didn’t want to think of him dying, sacrificing himself for me. I couldn’t get the image out of my head. His death, him exploding in a flood of bright light. As I opened the fridge I couldn’t seem to think of my very human needs in the moment. I closed it and turned to face him.

“If you go first,” I swallowed heavily. “the promise goes both ways.”

He pushed himself off the cabinets he was leaning on and folded my shaking hands into his. “We will not perish, I will not leave you, you will not leave me.” He vowed.

“I just…” My voice shuttered. “I don’t think I would be able to do this without you, Castiel.” I was, embarrassingly, on the verge of tears. “I love you too much.” His thumb reached up to rub away the slow stream running down my face. “I’ve never felt anything like this for someone else.”

It was my turn to find comfort in him. My arms came to wrap around his waist as my head buried itself in his chest. The soft fabric of his button up shirt became wet with my tears. He pressed me tightly to him, from the corner of my eye I could see his wings blotting out the muted lights in the kitchen as they wrapped around us. The only thoughts going through my mind at that moment were _I love you Castiel,_ it repeated like a mantra in my head. I knew he could hear every repetition, every syllable. His only reaction was to hold me tighter and press a kiss to the top of my head.

Pretty soon my tears had dried and I felt centered, at peace even. His unending support allowed me to find comfort in him. I was not afraid of opening myself up to him. He was here for the long haul; he was here until either one of our deaths. If we were two regular people, two humans, we would be on the way to the alter, buying a house, having 2.5 kids, a dog, and a yard. _Kids,_ holy fucking fuck. I could feel the panic running through my system. I wasn’t on anything, literally nothing, no birth control, he had no condoms, and he…oh holy fucksticks.

“Do not worry,” His voice interrupted my freak out as he pulled back. “pregnancy is not an issue unless we both want it.” His brow crinkled. “Though, if Sariel is already alerted to us now, any children from our union would be hunted.”

“Hunted?” I was aghast. There was nothing more innocent that a baby, it had never done anything wrong.

“Nephilim are amongst the most dangerous beings in all of existence. Their power is far greater than any angel.” He paused. “The grace may be removed while in the womb, rendering them fully human, but with us, with you, I do not know what would happen.”

“My powers, you mean.” I sighed. “I guess kids and such will have to be shelved for now.” My eyes widened, realizing that I just implied that I wanted a baby. “I mean, it was always shelved, I just…timing and figuring out everything…” He grinned at my rambling, that grin turned into a full blown smile as my cheeks flushed. “You know what, I’m just going to shut up and make myself a sandwich.”

I turned away and busied myself with pulling out the bread and peanut butter and jelly. The plate clattered to the countertop as his breath brushed against my neck.

“I never imagined myself a father, but with you, I am willing to try.”

I paused, did he just…he totally did, he’s trying to come onto me. “Well I hear trying is the fun part,” I said nonchalantly laying out the pieces of bread and spreading one side with peanut butter. His body heat crowded my back. “I even hear you have to try several times before it sticks.” I spread the other piece of bread with jelly before pressing the two pieces together.

His hands gripped my hips and pulled me backward allowing me to feel the burgeoning hardness in his pants. I wiggled my ass smirking and then pulled away, taking my sandwich to the table and sitting down. I gave him a wink and bit into the bread. He looked slightly forlorn, but there was a heat to his eyes. It was…exhilarating to tease him. I had never been in that position with the opposite sex before.

He started walking forward and I knew if he continued I’d be in some state of undress in a matter of moments. But alas, that was not our fate. Exaggeratedly loud footsteps echoed down the hall. Thumps on the wall, a knock on the door, before it was opened and Dean swaggered in. He looked at both of us, each on the opposite sides of the room, as far away as we possibly could be but the blush staining my cheeks defeated any hope of feigning innocence.

“Well, well, well,” He grinned looking down at me. “just making a sandwich, huh?”

I took another bite, forcing the suddenly dry bread down my throat. “Just a sandwich.” I said thickly.

“Uh huh.” He murmured, before losing his lascivious grin. The expression on his face turning into a serious one. He slid out the chair across from me and took a seat. He looked over his shoulder at Castiel and pointedly looked at the chair to my right. Cas tilted his head in confusion. Dean did it again but with more force. His brow furrowed and yet he didn’t move.

“For the love of…” Dean huffed. “Cas, sit.”

I saw the moment of realization overtake his features and he shuffled over to the seat. To the naked eye he looked completely normal, but the way his wings sloped downwards I could tell that he was embarrassed. Under the table I gave his thigh a slight squeeze, silently telling him that it was okay.

“I…uh,” He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I owe you both an apology.”

My brow arched, I wasn’t expecting one. Dean was one of those guys that seemed to take a grudge to the grave.

“I’ve been a dick, a massive asshole.” He said a bit strained. Oh, this was hard for him. I smothered the grin that was overtaking my lips. “For that I am sorry, I should’ve trusted you, dude.” He said focusing in on Cas. “You’ve gone to bat for me and Sam when we needed it and we didn’t step up when you did.” Then he looked to me. “I had to clean your blood and brains off my walls,” I shifted uncomfortably. “look I spend a lot of my time not getting close to people. They end up dying horrible deaths. But you’ve somehow wormed your way into our lives and with you and Cas doing the nasty, you’ll be here for awhile. So I’ll try not to be a dick in the future.”

Both of my brows were raised. “Wow,” I stretched out the syllables. “I suppose the apology is accepted on my end, Dean Winchester.” I paused, considering his words. “If that was an apology that is. Sounded more like a promise and an excuse for your piss poor behavior.” I smirked at him, leaning back in my chair.

His jaw clenched. “I am _so_ sorry Cora for my _piss poor behavior._ ”

“That’s better.” I grinned. “Apology accepted.”

I looked to Cas, his eyes bore into Dean’s face. Just staring, not blinking, not moving a fraction of an inch. Even his wings, which twitched and moved naturally were stock still. I reached for his hand, which he then moved them both to the table, his fingers linked together. It felt like whiplash, my feelings felt…bruised. It was dumb, idiotic even, but it had just become natural to reach for him when either of us faced an obstacle. But he didn’t need me for this. He was facing his own problem, head on, without me. I swallowed heavily, this was us becoming two different people facing our own challenges. He didn’t love me any less, I didn’t love him any less, but I could feel the metaphorical threads tying us together loosening. We wouldn’t be as attached to the hip anymore. It was healthy, it was what people in actual relationships are like. They are their own people; we were our own people…uh…beings.

“You did not trust me.” He finally said.

“We…I thought you might’ve been holding onto false hope.” Dean struggled with his words. “You and her,” He looked between us both. “became so attached to each other in such a short period of time, I didn’t think you could process everything.” He blew out a breath. “So I had to be a hard ass and try and make the decision for you. Then she went all vengeful spirit and I knew I needed to end it.”

Castiel tilted his head. “Despite what you may think, Dean, I am not naïve.” He was trying to keep his voice light, but I heard the undercurrent of tension. “I may not understand all the nuances that humankind has to offer, but I understand that what you attempted to do that night was take away my choice.”

Dean’s mouth was gaping, opening and closing, trying to come up with a response. I looked to my angel, he was…he was glorious. He was firm, he was taking a stand, and the confidence he exuded was damn sexy.

“You must promise me that you will not attempt to do so ever again.” His blue eyes bore down into Deans. “I have turned my back on my brothers and sisters for you and Sam,” He looked to me. “and for her. I have embraced free will and I will not let someone take it from me.” His hand reached down and linked with mine. My heart felt light, happy, and proud of the stance that he was taking.

Dean snapped his mouth shut and he looked at Castiel. “I promise.” He said seriously.

“Then I accept your apology.”

The angel and the man looked at each other for a moment before Dean nodded, pushing his chair back from the table and stood. He went to the fridge and took at another beer. He cracked the cap open on the countertop and took a long pull.  The kitchen door swung open, Sam entered holding a particularly thick book.

“I’ve got it.” He beamed.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I found the notebook I originally wrote this fic in, let's just say I went way off book.

Sam thumped the book down on the table, the rest of my sandwich forgotten. On the page was a small illustration of an ornate lock. The designs didn’t make much sense to me, the lines and curves ebbed and flowed together in a random pattern. In the center was where you’d expect a key to go, except instead of a hole it was indented inwards, presumably for a finger. The words on the page were in a language that I couldn’t read, nor recognize. It was made up of symbols, nothing like the English alphabet.

“Can you read this?” I asked looking up at Sam.

He shook his head. “Not all of it,” He sighed. “from the gist of it I know that this lock used to belong to Zeus. It was then gifted to Hades and after that, it disappeared from history.”

“No idea what it does?” I asked tracing the illustration with my fingertips.

Sam shook his head again.

“Well then,” Dean finished his beer. “guess we better talk to king douche himself.”

Dean rummaged through a drawer and selected a small paring knife. Sam picked up the large book from the table and followed his brother out of the room. I sighed, guess that was my cue to follow. Time to face the demon. I stood, looking mournfully at my half finished sandwich. Do these guys ever eat, ever take a break?

“You comin’?” Dean bellowed from the hallway.

Cas and I left the kitchen, my steps more reluctant than his. It was muscle memory at this point, back down the hall, down another hall, open the door, down the stairs. I paused at the landing. Castiel already half down the steps. I shouldn’t be scared, that’s what gave him all his power. If he couldn’t frighten me anymore it’d be easier. The truth of the matter was that I was terrified. He and his minions were there at every step I made. Plus, he had the benefit of the creepy red eyes. Castiel came to a stop at the bottom, turning to look back up at me. His brow arched in an unsaid question. I balled my trembling hands into fists and gave him a strained smile. Understanding lit up his face and he held out his hand, a silent offer of comfort. I shook my head and padded down. He had to face Dean on his own, I would have to face Crowley. I brushed past him, his coat brushing against my side.

I gathered myself best I could and appeared in his view. Dean was in the circle, digging the paring knife into Crowley’s shoulder, attempting to remove the bullet. Sam stood just outside of it, on the edge, prepared to intervene and grab his brother out if need be. Crowley’s red glazed eyes focused in on me. He didn’t spare a glance at Dean carving into his flesh, not at Sam holding his giant book, nor the angel at my back glaring daggers. Almost all at once Crowley seemed to sag as the bullet clinked to the floor.

“Cheap tricks boys.” He clucked. Dean practically leaped back over the circle.

“Fair’s fair,” My voice almost sounded steady. “you used my Mother’s magic to get in here.” I said referencing the box and all the possessions in it, he destroyed.

He gave me a smile. “ _My_ Mother’s magic, love. Yours just happened to have a handy conduit.” He kicked pieces of the destroyed box out of the circle.

“Pop goes the weasel.” Dean smirked. Crowley glared at him and I had no doubt had he been free someone would be up against the wall pinned.

“And my necklace?” I cut in before they started a pissing match.

He refocused his attention. “Just needed the magical signature, Princess. It was all luck really. Feather’s just happened to have it, and I just happened to have mine.” He tugged on his chains as he bent to pick up the forgotten necklace. “Just a bit of demon blood infused into it and ta-da.” As best as he could he put it into his suit pocket.

“Where’s the original?” I crossed my arms scowling.

“That’d be telling, love.” He grinned. “Just agree to the deal and you can have everything back. Your little letters, trinkets, and freedom.”

I marched forward, pulling the book from Sam’s arm. I was a hairsbreadth away from entering the trap, not like he could do anything chained up.

 “This is what you want me to open.” I accused holding the book out. He didn’t look to it, avoided looking at it. Jackpot. “Why don’t you find someone else?” 

He laughed. “I would if I could, my dear, you’re just the perfect fit.”

I shoved the book back into Sam’s arms. “Why?” I demanded.

His gaze drifted away from me and focused in on Castiel. I looked behind me. As I had moved closer, he moved with me. I felt the barest warmth from his wings brushing against my back.

“Think, Feathers had you not been so gung ho about giving her her precious trinket back, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” His grin was knowing, feral. He looked powerful even in chains. “Your precious little—”

“Stop.” I stepped in his eye line. My tone was ice.

“But darling it’s so—”

“I said stop.” The sound coming out of my throat was no less than a growl.

That tingle I felt on my palm earlier was back. Crowley froze, his eyes rolled back in his head and he hit the ground seizing. Sam and Dean jumped back, theirs eyes shifted to me in shock.  His mouth opened in a silent scream and out came red smoke. It flew up seeking to escape, my palm felt like it was burning. I held it out in front of me, I was glowing. The skin of my hand didn’t look like flesh anymore, it looked like a ball of light. It still felt like my hand, fingers and all. I looked towards the smoke, it was flying towards me, banging against the invisible wall of the trap. I walked forward, almost in a trance, stepping over the markings and into the circle. I could hear the boys protesting. Castiel tried to grab me, pull me back, but it was too late. I was in the circle, my palm pointing upwards. Like a bug to light the smoke pooled into my palm. It twisted in on itself, forming a perfect circle. It was freezing.

“So this is all you are.” I scoffed. “Some smoke and powers and you think you’re the big man in town.” The smoke seemed to tremble. “I could crush you without a thought.” I started to close my fingers around the smoke, pushing it, him, into the light.

“No,” Dean’s voice penetrated my thoughts. “look he’s a dick but we need him.” I looked up, the brother’s were wearing expressions of thinly veiled fear.

“Cora, please,” Sam pleaded. “Crowley, as much as I hate to admit it, a part of the plan.”

I looked down to the small, quivering ball of red smoke. One good squeeze and I wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. I brought it up to my face. “It’s your lucky day,” I cooed, squeezing slightly. “you try anything, go after any of my people, and you’re squashed like the bug you are.”

I took the few steps to his dapperly dressed body. He exited through his mouth, it follows that he entered the same way. I opened his mouth and clapped the glowing hand over his mouth, the stubble rough against my palm His body jerked again as I forced the smoke to leave my palm and reclaim its vessel. I felt the frigid temperature leave and I undid my grip. His eyes popped open immediately, the cockiness was gone. In fact, the only thing in his eyes was fear. He shrunk away from me, scooting back as far as the trap would allow.

I stood, standing over him, and for once, since this whole thing started, I felt powerful. I felt like I was in league with the people around me. I was supernatural, _I was powerful._

I hit the floor, a weariness that I was unfamiliar with doused my body all at once. I could barly keep my eyes open, the world above me seemed to be spinning. Hands hitched themselves under my arms and pulled me out of the trap. There seems to be triple the amount of Sams. They peered over me, their lips moving. I couldn’t hear them clearly. It felt like I was underwater. I glow started on my left, my head flopped that way. There he is, my love, my angel. Brow all crinkly and eyes so serious. What I wouldn’t give to make him laugh, properly and completely, laugh. Dark was closing in on the corners of my vision. I tried to give him a smile before I met the black completely.

I woke to cotton mouth and a pounding headache. My vision was bleary as I opened my eyes. The ceiling was still swimming. Is this going to happen every time new powers pop up because if it is I’d rather not have any. I was covered with a thick blanket, back in my bed. I looked to my side, as predictable as always, in his chair. His eyes were closed, he looked to be concentrating on something.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.” I rasped, giving him a smile as his eyes popped open.

“You are awake.” He was up out of his chair and crossing the room.

“How long this time?” I asked, struggling to sit up. His warm hand supported my back as I propped myself up against the headboard. The world was still spinning, albeit, slightly slower now.

“Two days.” His voice was soft. “We found your mother.”

I raised an eyebrow in interest. “Oh?”

“Well, Sam did.” He clarified, his weight dipped the bed as he sat by my side. His shoulder brushing my own as he mirrored my position, shoes and all. “He tracked warming weather patterns and found where she was likely to go next.” His hand lay on my thigh, squeezing me slightly.

He wasn’t telling me something. I could tell by the slightly tense flutter of his wings.

“Castiel,” I looked at him. “what is it?”

“She’s here.”

My eyes widened; my hands fell limply by my sides. “What?” I gasped.

“Sam and Dean have her trapped in the library.” His eyes avoided mine.

“What?” My voice grew cold. I went to move the blankets off and give the brothers a piece of my mind. He held out an arm to stop me.

“She insisted, and she insisted that you be included too.”

My head tilted in confusion. “Me?” I slumped down in the bed.

“She would be a better person to explain it.” He sighed.

“Then take me to her.” I moved to get up again, his arm pushed me back down. “Cas, I can’t stay in bed all day.”

“You are still weak.” He said simply.

“It will pass,” I stubbornly insisted. This time I managed to throw off the blankets. “we’ve been through this before. I just need some food, water, and probably another shower.” I sniffed myself, ugh, I must’ve contracted a fever because I smelled of sweat.

“Not like this,” He let out a breath. “I could not heal you, I should have been able to. I did so before.”

My fingertips pushed his jaw, forcing him to look at me. “I had you supercharged the first time, it’s okay, you can’t heal me all the time.” I shrugged.  “Besides you fixed my arm beforehand, so whatever it was, it was me, not you.”

“I just,” He paused, his eyes crinkled. “felt helpless.”

I chuckled and pulled him in for a kiss. “How do you think I feel when you fly off helping the boys?” He pulled me in for another one, slotting his lips more firmly over mine. I pushed him back before he pushed me flat on my back. “But I really do need to talk to her and take care of all the other human business on my list.”

He reluctantly nodded standing from the bed, holding out his hands. I placed my palms in his and he tugged, helping me off the bed and to my feet. My legs felt weak, after getting my bearing I selected a new outfit, an off the shoulder dress, undies, and some sandals. I tucked the clothes under my arm and walked gingerly to the bathroom. I showered washing off the grime from the last two days, smirking at the thought of the last time I was in this stall. No orgasms for me this time around. Cas had followed me into the bathroom, but as I slid the curtain open he was gone. I dressed in silence, I hadn’t heard him leave. With shoes on my feet and feeling more human, I brushed my teeth and wet hair before throwing it up into a high ponytail to dry.

I padded out into the hallway and down to the kitchen. Frowning at the lack of company. No Sam or Dean. I started taking down the ingredients to make scrambled eggs when wings flutter behind me. I turned with a smile. Castiel stood in the center of the kitchen, in his hands was a plate piled high with pancakes.

“What’s this?” I asked, putting away the ingredients I had taken out.

“I flew to the diner in town,” He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “they boast that they have the best breakfast.”

I rounded the counter. “You stole me breakfast?” I grinned.

He looked down at the pancakes and then back up at me. “Yes.” He said, no shame in his tone.

“Well,” I took the plate from his hands and placed it carefully on the table. “that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever stolen for me.”

I tugged his tie and gave him a kiss, before setting myself down in front of the monstrous plate of pancakes. I smiled, he even stole the silverware. I picked up my fork and started digging in. I hummed, they were really great pancakes.

Between bites, I asked, “Where are Sam and Dean?”

He sat down across from me. “On a hunt.” He said it so quickly and surely that I knew he was lying.

My fork clattered lightly to my plate. “Really?” I purposely kept my tone light. “Cas, if you don’t want to tell me something just let me know, but don’t lie.”

His wings tensed, they were always my barometer for reading his emotions. “I—”

“It’s okay Castiel.” My eyes swung to the kitchen door at the unfamiliar voice.

Shit.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the end folks. Enjoy!

My hair would never look like hers, blonde, perfectly straight, curling slightly up at the ends. It would always be a riot of frizzy curls. Her body was a straight line, curving slightly inwards at her hips, and outwards at her breasts. The bright red dress she wore was tailor made to fit her figure, and the stilettoes on her feet looked like they could kill.

“What—”

She cut me off, “No hug and a kiss for your grandmother?”

She opened her arms inviting me to them. When I stayed seated, she smirked.

“I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Her heels echoed against the floor. “Or rather,” She came to stop behind Castiel’s chair. Her talon like nails closed around his shoulder. “the pomegranate.”

The smile on her face was full of malice. “My daughter is a trixy little thing, the one loophole I couldn’t break.” Her fingers dug into Cas’s shoulder. “Speaking of, she should be here for this family reunion.” She leaned down, giving me an eyeful of cleavage. Her lips brushed against Castiel’s ear. “Be a dear and go fetch her.”

He stood woodenly. “Castiel, no.” I pleaded, reaching forward to grab him. He slapped away my fingers and pulled away from the table, walking stiffly out of the kitchen.

“What did you do to him?” I barked at her.

“A little this,” She took his seat. “a little that.” She shrugged. “But we’re not here to talk about your abysmal taste in men, darling.” Her nails drummed against the wooden table, creating a small, nonsensical pattern.

I leaned back in my chair, trying to put as much distance between us without fleeing from my chair.  “Then what are we here to talk about?”

She threw her arms up and exclaimed, “Family!” Her arms dropped back down to her sides and she tilted forward. “We’ve got some family secrets to clear up.” She whispered conspiratorially with a wink from her heavily mascaraed eyes.  

She wasn’t stable, mentally, she wasn’t. On the outside, she looked perfectly immaculate. But the way she kept shifting her eyes, the small twitches in her hands, and the possessive nature told me all that I needed to know, I needed to tread carefully. One wrong word and I could send her over the edge, send Castiel to his…I couldn’t think about that. I had to get us, all of us, out.

“Secrets?” I asked lightly, clenching my hands beneath the table.

The door swung open, my Mother, in the flesh, held tight by Cas’s grip. He pushed her in and took vigil by the door. His eyes focused on some invisible point in front of him. I ached for him to look at me, look at something else in general. But all he did was stare straight ahead, unblinking unmoving.

“You’re a sick bitch,” Persephone spat out. “you know that?”

Demeter scoffed. “Sweetie, the Underworld has gotten to your head.”

“No,” She growled. “you have. Kidnapping me, my daughter, sabotaging her boyfriend. For fuck's sake no well-adjusted person does that.”

“Well, we’re not people, darling.” Demeter crossed her legs under the table. “Now sit.” Persephone didn’t move from her stance by the door. Demeter sighed and snapped her fingers. I watched with horror as the blade from Castiel’s coat came down. He pressed it into his chest and started to push.

“Mom, please.” I pleaded, my eyes flicking between her and the angel I loved, who was minutes away from killing himself. Rivulets of blood ran down his button down shirt.

After a moment of tense hesitation, she sighed and took a seat next to me. Her arms were crossed, she gave off the aura that anything that happened at this table she was closed off to.

“Good girl.” Demeter gave a toothy smile. “I’m quite hurt Perry, hiding my granddaughter away for so long, letting her be raised by humans.”

“She’s half human Demeter.” Mom scoffed. “She deserves to be raised with her kind.”

Her blonde head tilted. “That’s what you believe?”

“How many times do I have to tell you?” Mom’s voice raised, she was near yelling now. “Cora is half human; humans need to be with humans.”

“Don’t be so obtuse dear, I’m not talking about that.” There was a gleam in her eye.

Persephone stiffened. She sat ramrod straight. I turned my head silently pleading for her to look at me.

“It’s impossible.” She said lowly.

“It’s a certainty.”  Demeter countered and stood.

She walked around the table to stand behind me. Hands rested on my shoulders, I had nowhere to look but my Mother who seemed to be falling apart at the seams. Her hands dropped from their crossed position to hang loosely at her sides. Her eyes were as wide as dinner saucers, they shone with unshed tears. A tingle ran up my spine. The hands on my shoulders grew warm and finally, my Mother turned to look at me. A sob broke through her throat.

“What’s happening?” My voice was sluggish even to my own ears. “What’s impossible?”

“I’m so sorr—”

Demeter interrupted. “You’re a goddess dear.” Her hands ran down my arms as she walked back around the table. A triumphant grin painted on her face. “A full fledged one, not some two-bit demi-goddesses.” She looked me up and down and a deep frown marred her face. “I had expected the fat to disappear, but no matter, we can change that.”

“What?” I felt faint.

I looked down at my hands, my skin was a half shade darker. I wasn’t as pale as a ghost anymore. I was sun kissed. My hands flew to my face. I felt the familiar contours of my lips, nose, brow. Nothing had changed from what I could feel. I tugged at my still damp hair, still a riot of curls. I itched to take it down to see if the color had changed. I always loved my bright red hair. My body hadn’t changed from what I could see, but I didn’t feel like me anymore. I wished I could see Castiel’s reaction, it would tell me everything I needed to know, but he was still stuck like a toy soldier by the door.

“Your Mother was pregnant when she left to Underworld as she sought your caregiver. She didn’t know it of course. Life is near impossible to create in the Underworld.”

“Near impossible.” I breathed.

“But things grow do they not?” Demeter’s attention turned to Persephone. “Trees, grass, flowers, even crops. So why not a baby?”

“But I…I couldn’t give birth.” Persephone stuttered.

Demeter tsked. “No, you couldn’t, her soul can’t be born down in that cesspool. She couldn’t have spent her first few months without being touched by darkness dwon there, but after that,” Demeter shrugged. “she could’ve grown up as she needed to. With you.”

Another sob escaped her throat. Her hand rose to cover her face as she cried into them. I couldn’t…I didn’t need to be with…I needed to leave. My chair clattered to the ground as I pushed myself back and bolted from the room. The hallway was a blur. My first instinct was to lock myself in my room. She’d find me easily there. My next was to escape the bunker and run as hard and as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I’d only be hunted and dragged back. Castiel would pay the price in that scenario. So I did what I knew no one would have expected. I ran to the basement. I damn near fell down the stairs in my haste. I pulled open the dungeon entrance and clicked it shut with a sigh of relief. My head thumped against the cool metal and I closed my eyes. It’d be the last place they’d check. I’d have time to process that I wasn’t a human anymore. Full fledged goddess, me!

“Hello, love.”

He was still here. Lovely. When you want peace and quiet what you end up with is the king of hell.

“Crowley.” I murmured, not bothering to open my eyes. I know what I’d see, a smug face, a suit, and red eyes. “Still here I see.” I slid down the metal and sat on the floor.

“All thanks to you, Princess.” His tone was far more serious than I expected. My eyes opened and I gasped.

He was chained to a chair and bloody. His chest looked to be in ribbons. His face a mess of black and blue. One eye was swelled shut. Iron chains wrapped the rest of his body, from the flashes of skin I could see it seemed the torture continued everywhere.

“Sam and Dean didn’t do this.” I struggled to my feet and stepped into the circle.

His head tilted. “Feathers.”

“Castiel, he wouldn’t…he couldn’t.” I murmured.

“Or rather, grandmummy dearest.” He quipped. “She’s sure got a way with men.”

My breath caught in my throat, he knew what she could do. “What is it?” I asked crouching down to his level.

He looked me in the eyes and gave a small sigh. “Magic, ancient magic.”

“How do I break it?” I asked eagerly. His eyes shifted uneasily to the dungeon door.

“You already have Princess.” He grinned at me, his teeth stained with blood. My brow crinkled. “You hit the big old reset button, turned me on and off again.”

“So all I have to do…?”

“Is pull lil’ old Casy boy out of his vessel and shove him back in.”

I stood, a new plan forming in my head. If I could just reset him we could get out of here, take my Mom and run. Hide out with wherever the brothers were as we came up with a game plan. Demeter wasn’t going to let us go, we were gripped too tight, so we’d have to pry her off.

“You can’t leave me here.” He pleaded as I turned to walk away. “I don’t give a rats ass about the Underworld, Hades can have those old, useless souls.” My eyebrows raised in disbelief. “Going toe to toe with the Gods is suicide.”

“You have to promise.” I said lightly.

“I’ll make you a deal.” He grinned. “You get me out of here and I’ll stop trying to get to the Underworld.”

“You and all your friends.” I clarified.

 “Get me out of here and I, and anyone affiliated with me will never try to break into the Underworld. Hades can rule his domain without trouble for as long as he wishes.”

“Okay, deal.” I held out my hand, flushing slightly as I realized that he was still chained.

“No, no, Princess,” His eyes flashed a darker red. “we seal the deal with a kiss.”

I felt myself cringe.

“C’mon, love, we don’t have all day.”

I reluctantly walked to him and ducked down, looking at his bloody and split lips with revulsion. I screwed my eyes shut and pressed my lips to his. It was over in half a second. But as I did it I felt a chill run down my spine. I stepped back and scrubbed my lips with the back of my hand. The copper taste was still on my tongue.

“That’s better, Princess, now get me out of these chains.”

I looked at the chains binding his body to the chair. They were all etched with symbols and runes. Castiel had triple bonded him to the chair. Even if he had the power to escape from the chair there would be no point because the chains would lock him in place. My fingers ran over one set to the back of his chair. Huge locks all with the same symbols. As my fingers touched the metal it zapped me back. I hit the wall with a thump.

“Bloody useless.” He scoffed.

I clenched my teeth and got to my feet again. “I’m going to need a key, any idea where that would be your majesty?” I scowled.

“Castiel.” He said with a deadpan. “Why everyone so bloody useless around here!” His voice rose a pitch.

 I froze as the basement door opened. There was no clacking of heels so I knew who was coming. No time like the present. I pressed myself to the wall next to the door and I tried to summon the same feelings I felt when I pulled Crowley out of his vessel. I was defending Castiel the first time around, now I was…well I was pulling him out of the form I fell in love with. The door slid open and I held my breath, willing myself to melt against the wall. I just needed to buy myself a few seconds. I could feel the small tingles running their way up my palm.

“Feathers,” There was the smug voice I was looking for. “back for more?”

Cas paid him no mind and walked further into the room. The tingles were almost there, but I didn’t have a few more seconds. One turn and he’d see me. I surged forward and pressed my palm to his back, directly between his wings. He froze, and for a moment I thought it was working. But then he snapped hand grabbed my wrist and he _pulled_. I went up and over his shoulder and hit the ground. The breath knocked clear out of my lungs as I tried to focus on the angel above me. All of my tingles were gone, one fell swoop and all that hasty preparation was nixed. He dropped down, straddling my hips. His hands circled my neck, the rough callouses would’ve been a pleasurable sensation in any other situation. But then he started to squeeze. I gasped, my fingers dug into his wrists.

“Please,” I hoarsely gasped. “Cas, it’s me.”

Black spots danced in my vision. I kept my eyes focused on Castiel’s blue ones. They were filled with abject horror. He was in there; I could see him. His body was not his own anymore. His consciousness was trapped, and he was watching himself murder me. All the while, the pressure was getting more intense.

“Not…your…f..fault.” I could barely get the words out. “Lo…love…you.”

The tight grip I had had on his wrists loosened. I just barely held them. As he continued to squeeze I couldn’t breathe anymore. I kept my eyes locked on him, not his actions, on the being that was trapped in his own mind.


End file.
